Dh was really dismissive of me on a night out with friends this week - Am I over-reacting?

[Wisteriabloom]

We're luckily to.have an outdoor venue near us, with live music, food & drink stalls, which has just opened up for beginning of summer season.

Dh & I spent an evening there with friends this week. I was meeting them there slightly later, as had to wait for a friend to drop something off. All fine.

As I was nearing the venue I texted dh as agreed, to ask whereabouts they were, it's quite a big area! He texted where to find them, but they weren't there. I eventually found them, a few minutes walk from where he said they were. I wandered up and said hi, everyone greeted me, but dh barely looked my way and just muttered 'Oh hi'. I asked why he didn't tell me they'd moved on, he just said they decided to get another round of drinks in and assumed I'd find them. 🤔

Later in the evening I was chatting to a few of them about something that happened recently (funny story, a whole other thread! 😀 Dh turned away, and started talking to the couple on his other side about something completely different! I said on the quiet to him 'Oh, was I boring you?' He said 'I was there at the time, there's nothing new to say about it'!

I was enjoying myself, catching up with the others but was aware of dh being distinctly 'off' with me, but fine with everyone else.

Towards the end of the evening, one of the others mentioned a wedding reception we were all at last summer, where one of the bride's friends was wearing very little on the dance floor, leaving little to the imagination! Dh said to his friend 'OMG yeah, and those damn waitresses kept getting in the way, spoiling my view!!' I wasn't right next to him when he said this, but heard and my expression must have changed as dh's friend nudged him, saying 'Look at Wisteria, you're in her bad books now!' Dh just did a mock eyeroll and laughed along with him. 🤔

Dh & I have had some lovely times recently, weekend away the other week, family birthdays, lunch out on Sunday (using a voucher we were given for Xmas), and all has been great. I told him when we got back I was a bit upset he didn't seem to want me there with the others, but he completely dismissed it and said I was over-reacting. I wasn't, was I?

I've never heard the term 'dog whistling' either but my exh used to do exactly this too. And always when in the company of his friends, to wind me up sometimes to the point where I would snap at him and look like a bitch. Most of his friends didn't like me as a result.

I recognise my ex in your dh, so I would be upset too, OP. But now you recognise it, what are you going to do about it?

I personally wouldn't jump to conclusions that he's cheating, ltb etc etc.
I will say though that my ex used to occasionally do this to me for no reason, made me feel all of 2cms tall, rotten. When we got home I used to really kick off because how dare he do that to me when I'd never have treated anyone like that.
I'm now with another man and for all his faults, he's so kind and has never made me feel like that. I honestly think some men turn into moody, complacent w**kers. Something put him in a mood (likely unrelated to you) and he chose to take that out on you, a bit like the way kids/teens do to their parents. I'd be making it clear it won't be tolerated and sorry he made you feel that way

@kezzie200 go girllll! well deserved