What makes could've, should've and would've so special?

[ShhItsMySecret]

At risk of being piled upon for pedantry can anyone explain why the could of, would of, should of phenomenon doesn't extend to other contractions involving have? I don't ever see people writing "I of been feeling unwell today," or "I hear you of a new car." It's always explained as a phonetic thing but doesn't that affect any 've contraction?

Anyway, just wondering about this. Full disclosure - it drives me fucking insane and I really struggle to get past it when people write it. I realise this exposes me to having my own grammar analysed for perfection. I'm also completely sympathetic where eg dyslexia is a factor but it's so common now there's no way that's the reason in most cases. I also accept it's probably my own problem to get over. Hard hat on!

it drives me fucking insane and I really struggle to get past it when people write it.

🤭

There’s a corner for people like you.

I don't ever see people writing "I of been feeling unwell today," or "I hear you of a new car." It's always explained as a phonetic thing but doesn't that affect any 've contraction?

"I've" and "you've" have just one syllable, "I of " and " you of" have two, so they sound very different; "Could've" and "would've" have two syllables, like "could of" and "would of", so they sound similar. It's basically because could, would etc end in a consonant. whereas "I" and "you" end in vowels.

I agree the use of "of" grates, but it is different from the examples you give.

So a poster upthread said people make the error because they don't know its wrong. Yet its taught at school 🤔

As posters have said, people hear could've being pronounced and because it's not a commonly read construction, their mind struggles to find common words that match those sounds. Therefore they settle on could of. A bit like when you hear song lyrics that you struggle to match to words and are a bit 🤔 when they don't make sense.
I teach ESOL and was bemused when the influx of Polish students used to write "fistable" regularly in essays. I couldn't understand it. Turns out they meant "first of all". I'd never seen that before from other nationalities so there must be something about the sounds in their own language that caused the confusion. But cleverly they knew words often ended in 'able' so they'd adapted that for the end.
And, op, you don't sound like a cow and you've nothing to apologise for.

In my local accent ‘I have’ is pronounced differently to ‘could have.’ Even if they’re being said like that, it will be ‘I have to do blah blah’ but ‘I could uv done xyz.’ The have is said as ‘uv.’ So if someone struggles with comprehension/reading or spag, it’s an understandable mistake. They’re simply writing it out as they’ve heard it.

I get that it can be annoying seeing people make these simple mistakes but I always thing about that part in Gatsby when Nick’s father tells him to remember not everyone has had the opportunities that you’ve had. It’s easy to say ‘it’s taught in schools’ but not everyone has the same school experience for a multitude of reasons.

@XDownwiththissortofthingX

I've seen complete aberrations along the lines of "must of wanted to of" and suchlike.

God knows where these people were educated, because nowhere teaches that as standard English.

I feel you OP. I'm autistic, and I find it so discordant that it triggers the same reactions I have to thoroughly unpleasant sensations like nails down a blackboard and so on. I get all the accusations about being a 'Grammar Nazi' and so on, but I believe that if you are going to attempt to communicate you should at least have the courtesy to do so in a format that is commonly agreed and understood. It's a shining example of inexcusable ignorance, laziness, and contempt.

I’m sure being autistic you’re aware of how it feels to struggle with things though? My son is autistic and really struggles to read. He is getting into audiobooks which I’m so happy about. I imagine when he’s older there’s a good chance he’ll misspell words sometimes because he hears them more often than he sees them. Of course it’s something we work on but everything isn’t easy for everyone. To brush it off as lazy or contemptuous says more about you really than it does about someone who misspells a word. Personally I think it’s very excusable and wouldn’t feel held in contempt at all by someone who simply makes a mistake that I’m fortunate enough not to make, or struggles with something I’m lucky not to struggle with.

@Shitzngiggles

Doesn't this get taught in school?

Yes. So do compound fractions and physics but I can't understand either of those.

@Kanaloa
Well said, and good luck to your son.
It's abhorrent that there are people who would look down on someone with less than perfect English with such vile contempt as pp.

@Shitzngiggles

So a poster upthread said people make the error because they don't know its wrong. Yet its taught at school 🤔

They teach the correct use of commas at school as well. Were you absent that day?

@Kanola I see your point about not everybody's education being the same, but so many times I see a perfectly written post, could be here or anywhere,
all spelling and grammar correct, words used in the correct context, and it's just could've, would've should've thats incorrect. I don't understand why it's so prevalent.

My grown up kids both write could of. Both had good opportunities and education. I think it's just very common to see now so starts to become normal.

[quote Shitzngiggles]@Kanola I see your point about not everybody's education being the same, but so many times I see a perfectly written post, could be here or anywhere,
all spelling and grammar correct, words used in the correct context, and it's just could've, would've should've thats incorrect. I don't understand why it's so prevalent.[/quote]
I mean who knows why that person has made that mistake? You’ve written ‘thats’ incorrectly, which isn’t a mistake I generally make. And you’ve contracted other words correctly so it’s the same problem as people using ‘could of’ when they’ve made no mistakes elsewhere. You’ve also used lots of commas where I would have ended a sentence with a full stop and started a new one. Maybe you’ve had an autocorrect mistake or you just missed it typing quickly. Either way it’s not really for me to understand or not why you’ve made that mistake.

When people say "could have" / "could've", the vowel in "have" is unstressed and is often pronounced pronounced as a schwa. Using IPA (a way of representing phonics), "could've" could be written /kʊdəv/. When the word "of" isn't stressed, it's also often said like /əv/

But do you think the difference is down to the d” at the end of “could” and the fact that “I” ends in a vowel? See also “we’ve”. We never see “we of”.

I suspect my undergrad linguistics degree is even older than yours. I remember very little. 🙃

@PAFMO

Thank you for the kind words. We are definitely getting there - audiobooks is better than no stories or books at all! And really if the most inexcusable thing about a person is that they write ‘could of’ instead of ‘could have’ then they’re doing pretty well in my opinion!

I have seen 'may of' and 'had of' written down.

I'm teaching my youngest to get it right.

@Shitzngiggles

So a poster upthread said people make the error because they don't know its wrong. Yet its taught at school 🤔

The difference between "it's" and "its" is also taught at school...

I'm lost.
Do you mean the famous phrase - coulda, woulda, shouda?

If not then it definitely is have not of.

Woah, I'm not sure how we got to "vile contempt". Again, apologies if that's what I've implied but it's very much not the case. There are many things which I find irritating (eg a million things my DH does) and like this I accept that it's my problem not theirs. I'm sure I do things which irritate others too. There is certainly no contempt though. Anyhow, it's been interesting hearing explanations for why some of the 'ves become of and others don't so thanks to everyone and sorry if I've offended.

I've rhymes with five, and we've rhymes with leave. May've doesn't rhyme with Maebh/Maeve.

@LaMarschallin did you also pronounce misled as if it were the past participle of misle? (I knew what it meant. I knew what both words meant. It just took me a while to realise that the meanings were identical...)

@SenecaFallsRedux

The examples you gave are not contractions.

I've You've

I know some of these people. They are common so no surprise. Here's the secret.

They don't care.

They don't care about writing correctly, they just want to get on with their lives. They could not care less that they are writing things incorrectly because they know (and they are correct) their managers and their manager's managers are unlikely to care either, or be aware they've made a mistake.

I even sat someone down and told them that "would of" is incorrect, makes no sense, and it really would be best if they simply put "would have" etc.

You know what they did about it?

Fuck all.

Its my mum explaining this to me that I remember, not a teacher. So it may have been taught in school but I obviously still had to be reminded by my mum.

I didn't see have as meaning the same thing in the sentences 'I have....' and 'I could have....'

I'd just missed something in the explanation.

@Shitzngiggles

So a poster upthread said people make the error because they don't know its wrong. Yet its taught at school 🤔

It's surely more to do with texting in the younger generation and has stuck? Look at how many write. I luvs u, c u ltr, could of told me that etc. Then it sticks and so it spreads around other young people. Like a separate language all on its own!

It sounds the same to me and I get them confused, I've struggled with spag my whole life, despite going over it and over it, especially things like this and where, we're, wear etc.

@NamelessNancy

My grown up kids both write could of. Both had good opportunities and education. I think it's just very common to see now so starts to become normal.

That's my theory too. It has unfortunately become normalised.