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Original poster

What should a 6 year old girl wear to a funeral?

79 replies

unravioling · 13/04/2022 20:01

I feel that I should know this, but I don't. Sadly, we have to go to a funeral and DD will be coming with us. It will be a formal/traditional funeral. What should she wear? She doesn't have any black clothes, or anything particularly dark. School uniform? If not, does anyone know where I could buy some formal children's clothes for an event like this.

OP posts:
Original poster
unravioling · 13/04/2022 23:54

I don't need opinions on whether to take her or not.

Thanks everyone for the advice about clothes. I think I've been fixating on getting that "right" to avoid thinking about other aspects of the day.

OP posts:
HowManyDogs · 14/04/2022 00:04

Sorry for your lossFlowers

Divebar2021 · 14/04/2022 00:15

There is no “right” OP. There’s no requirement on anyone to wear black anymore let alone children. I can’t even recall what my DD has worn to her grandparents funerals… just pretty dresses I think of various colours. Certainly her GPS would have loved seeing her in them and anyone else’s opinion is pretty irrelevant as far as I was concerned.

Divebar2021 · 14/04/2022 00:18

Oh and I think funerals are an occasion for family and friends to demonstrate their love and respect for the person who has died and (in most cases) I cannot see why children should be denied the opportunity to participate. ( not that you asked x )

louderthan · 14/04/2022 00:31

I had to go to my own father's funeral when I was only just 9. The sooner kids learn about death and how to process it, the better in my opinion.
Although this is completely beside the point of this thread, sorry.

Stylishkidintheriot · 14/04/2022 00:58

I would think a dress in muted colour would be fine. Perhaps try primark or tesco? I wouldn’t go with school uniform.

I think whether to take a young child to a funeral is a really personal thing; and depends on the child and the relationship with the deceased. We’ve had to make that decision around DS6 attending his grandmothers funeral. We decided against taking him, but I can completely see why another person would choose to bring their child

MinnieMountain · 14/04/2022 06:27

DS wore dark wool trousers from eBay and a black crew neck top to my DM’s funeral when he was 6. I find eBay handy for more formal stuff that he might not wear again.

Mumdiva99 · 14/04/2022 06:31

@MrsElm

When my DD, age 11, came to my Mum's funeral last year, she wore her very best and most gorgeous party dress.

So I think it depends on whose funeral it is, and who they were to your daughter.

This. Your daughter must have had a special relationship with this person to go to the funeral. If she didn't don't take her. If she did think what answer they would give if you asked what she should wear. If there was something they really liked put her in that. Otherwise just her own tidy clothes.
CoverYourselfInChocolateGlory · 14/04/2022 07:22

Yes, just simple smart clothes - nothing too bright or frilly. Doesn't need to be black, IMO, unless it's a super smart/formal funeral. These days people wear all sorts. At my uncle's funeral they asked everyone to avoid black and at my mum's we asked people to wear a splash of colour if they could.

Caspianberg · 14/04/2022 07:32

It was dh grandfather’s funeral a few days ago. We viewed via zoom due to overseas, but there were at least 20 under 18 there. Some just a few weeks old, some toddlers up to teens. All just in regular smart clothing, but various colours. Ie 3 year old nephew in tan chinos and white casual top.
Several played with toys at the side.

It’s appropriate to who’s funeral it is. Dh grandfather was worshipped by the children, and he would have just wanted them there having fun, he would have been the guy making model balloons witty them if he was there. Most funerals are no longer black only somber events, but much more a celebration of life.

Bewildered2021 · 14/04/2022 07:34

My daughter wore a purple jumper dress and tights.

maldivemoment · 14/04/2022 07:36

Sorry for your loss.

When our children went to their grandparents funerals (within a few years of each other) they chose their loveliest clothes. This meant they were bright & colourful but in no way disrespectful. In fact most mourners commented on how lovely it was to see.

Granny & Grandpa would most definitely have approved!

I hope the funeral goes well.

DinosApple · 14/04/2022 07:45

Mine were a little older at 9 and 10, they both wore dark dresses. One was sparkly, the other black with tigers on it. They were party dresses really, but smart.

It was for MIL's funeral and she'd have loved that, and thought they looked gorgeous.

lollipoprainbow · 14/04/2022 07:51

I remember attending an elderly cousins of my mum's funeral and she made me wear my brownie uniform Grin my dd8 wore a lovely purple and black flowery dress from h and m and black tights and shoes to her grandpas funeral.

Fcuk38 · 14/04/2022 07:53

Depends whose funeral ..my 6 and 9 year old wore a Birmingham city football club strip to their dads funeral.

MrsPelligrinoPetrichor · 14/04/2022 08:12

@Viviennemary

A six year old should not be going to a funeral.
Don't be so ridiculous,why ever not? Hmm

OP, anything smart and tidy but don't worry about it being dark colours,most adults don't wear black to funerals these days.

Sorry for your loss Flowers

ethelredonagoodday · 14/04/2022 08:14

Just a smart outfit. My DD went to her Grandma's funeral at a similar age, which was a formal event, but just wore a nice dress.

Northernsoullover · 14/04/2022 08:19

I was kept away from my grandfather's funeral at that age. I'm still upset about it 40 years on. I knew what was happening. I wasn't stupid. My mum regrets that she didn't take me.

C8H10N4O2 · 14/04/2022 08:23

In my culture it’s very usual for children to come to funerals and honestly no-one I know has been traumatised by it - children learn to come to terms with death and mourning earlier, that’s not a bad thing

I agree, its a part of life. Having grown up going to funerals as part of life and then taken my own children to family funerals I do find it odd to exclude children from funerals as a part of family life.

OP to your question, school uniform is a popular option as its usually fairly formal. Otherwise just something reasonably smart and muted colours if its a black dress code.

badlydrawnbear · 14/04/2022 08:32

My 6 year old wore a mostly navy party dress with unicorns and stars in a galaxy pattern on. It was her dad’s funeral, and we said people shouldn’t wear black unless they wanted to. She chose it from the dresses she already owned

yikesanotherbooboo · 14/04/2022 08:37

My DC wore school uniform to this type of occasion or a vaguely formal tidy dress/ jumper and shorts.I'm not keen on young children dressed as adults ie tie and suit but if the funeral is formal then party clothes look wrong.At a less formal funeral they have just worn their best clothes which could be any colour but not festive looking.

user1471447924 · 14/04/2022 08:38

Why would you dress a child in their school uniform on a non-school day?

MrsPelligrinoPetrichor · 14/04/2022 08:49

@user1471447924

Why would you dress a child in their school uniform on a non-school day?
A very common option in the absence of other smart clothes. Not that hard to understand, surely?
Housetreecar · 14/04/2022 08:50

I agree. I have never heard of wearing school uniform to a non school event unless they’re coming immediately from or going straight to school

OctopusSay · 14/04/2022 08:50

@user1471447924

Why would you dress a child in their school uniform on a non-school day?
Yes, really usual to avoid buying formal clothes they never wear again.