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What should a 6 year old girl wear to a funeral?

79 replies

unravioling · 13/04/2022 20:01

I feel that I should know this, but I don't. Sadly, we have to go to a funeral and DD will be coming with us. It will be a formal/traditional funeral. What should she wear? She doesn't have any black clothes, or anything particularly dark. School uniform? If not, does anyone know where I could buy some formal children's clothes for an event like this.

OP posts:
NWQM · 13/04/2022 21:15

We went with school uniform. Smart but clothes they were familar with

Kitkat151 · 13/04/2022 21:16

@MrsElm

When my DD, age 11, came to my Mum's funeral last year, she wore her very best and most gorgeous party dress.

So I think it depends on whose funeral it is, and who they were to your daughter.

😊 ahh that’s lovely
Kitkat151 · 13/04/2022 21:17

@caringcarer

I would not take a 6 year old to a funeral. Would child not be better off at school?
🙄
Weclome · 13/04/2022 21:21

@caringcarer

I would not take a 6 year old to a funeral. Would child not be better off at school?
Would it not be better just to answer the ops question?

It's the Easter holidays, do you expect the school to open especially for the ops child?

User12398712 · 13/04/2022 21:23

At the same age, DD wore a pretty party dress. It was one of her grandparent's funeral and she was the apple of their eye. It would have made them happy to see her in a pretty dress so that's what she wore.

shazzer1978 · 13/04/2022 21:26

@MrsElm

When my DD, age 11, came to my Mum's funeral last year, she wore her very best and most gorgeous party dress.

So I think it depends on whose funeral it is, and who they were to your daughter.

Similar here for my DD at my mum’s funeral. She wore something she felt special in and that my mum would have loved.
Benjaminsniddlegrass · 13/04/2022 21:27

My DD6 wore a navy blue shift dress & cardigan we bought from vinted, I prefer navy rather than black for children at funerals.

Viviennemary · 13/04/2022 21:27

A six year old should not be going to a funeral.

Svara · 13/04/2022 21:32

I think something smart casual is fine. Dress or dark jeans with a shirt kind of thing. Cardigan or jumper not a hoodie.

Cotherstone · 13/04/2022 21:34

DD borrowed a darker dress from a friend, I think it was a black summer dress with little white flowers on. Anything tidy and smart is fine for children.

ldontWanna · 13/04/2022 21:35

@Viviennemary

A six year old should not be going to a funeral.
I took a not even 1 and a half year old. Nobody died. Oh wait...
nocoolnamesleft · 13/04/2022 21:35

I remember going to several funerals as a child. It helped me make sense of death. It helped me say goodbye. Children need closure too. I also remember my niece attending my granddad's funeral. It really helped my grandma.

HairyScaryMonster · 13/04/2022 21:38

For those of you saying 6 is too young. I had to go to my mother's funeral at 12. I was grateful I'd been to my grandpa's at 7, I knew what to expect. Death is just one of those things, funerals are held to help with closure, at 6 it can be beneficial.

HerculesMulligan · 13/04/2022 21:39

I've also been to lots of funerals, starting as a child. I didn't find them frightening and I understood that people would be sad because they were grieving. I took my DS to a funeral when he was a newborn (his great-aunty) and to one when he was about 3 (my cousin, who died after a very short illness in her 30s and who he'd otherwise have known well). On both occasions he slept through most of it and didn't disturb other people when awake.

Cma1988 · 13/04/2022 21:45

Children don’t need to be in mourning black or dark colours I think, just smartly dressed.

In my culture, young children are often dressed in white for funerals to symbolise life and purity

In my culture it’s very usual for children to come to funerals and honestly no-one I know has been traumatised by it - children learn to come to terms with death and mourning earlier, that’s not a bad thing.

The comments saying how a six year old child should not be at a funeral are ridiculous, ignorant and xenophobic

TeacupDrama · 13/04/2022 21:46

My daughter was at her Grannies funeral when 7 at her Grandpa's when she was 12 she says she was glad she went to both, it helped; it also depends on your culture it is much more common for children to attend funerals in Ireland and parts of Scotland than England, you have already decided to take DD I'm sure it will be fine. It is part of growing up that not every day is the happiest day but sometimes it is still important and afterwards you can be pleased you did it.

RosiePosieDozy · 13/04/2022 21:49

Anything not overly patterned. A plain dress, tights and boots is absolutely fine. Don't stress about this. No one will bat an eye lid. You are there to remember the person who has passed away. I don't think anyone will be bothered about what anyone else is wearing.

Ameanstreakamilewide · 13/04/2022 21:56

@Cma1988

Children don’t need to be in mourning black or dark colours I think, just smartly dressed.

In my culture, young children are often dressed in white for funerals to symbolise life and purity

In my culture it’s very usual for children to come to funerals and honestly no-one I know has been traumatised by it - children learn to come to terms with death and mourning earlier, that’s not a bad thing.

The comments saying how a six year old child should not be at a funeral are ridiculous, ignorant and xenophobic

What's xenophobic about it??
Luredbyapomegranate · 13/04/2022 22:06

Little children don’t need to be in black or even dark colours

School uniform is common, or a smartish outfit - any colour is fine really, but not madly garish if possible.

Housetreecar · 13/04/2022 22:31

On my culture children don’t go to funerals pre teen and I actually agree that it’s not the place for children but our funerals tend to be very stark and basic and really not very nice. We also don’t wear black and just go in whatever we happen to be wearing that day which I far prefer, having said that I am sure anything plain and simple is fine but the last thing I would do is wear school uniform

trainnane · 13/04/2022 23:11

My DC went to their grandparents funerals. Their choice. They wanted to be there to say bye bye

HowManyDogs · 13/04/2022 23:45

My DS was 20 when he went to his first funeral, it was his grandads and he cried like a baby as it was all such a shock to him
Nothing wrong with taking a 6 year old, death is part of life.
And I agree, a child that age, it doesnt matter what she wears.

SweatyChamoisPad · 13/04/2022 23:49

We’ve always gone to family funerals. If in school time we wore uniforms, if in holidays we wore navy and white. There’s no wrong answer.

Trampitt · 13/04/2022 23:52

She shouldn't go.

ldontWanna · 13/04/2022 23:54

@Trampitt

She shouldn't go.
Unless you're responsible for the funeral or the child's parent you have no right to make such statements.
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