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Original poster

What small things did your parents do right?

71 replies

Pluvia · 12/04/2022 14:09

Rather than focussing on the negatives, what little things did your parents get right when they were raising you?

Mine instilled a sense of curiosity in me. They took the line that there was no excuse for being bored — and as a result I've never been bored. There is always something to see, do, think about, find out about, no matter how small.

OP posts:
MonkeyPuddle · 12/04/2022 14:10

Told me she loved me regularly
Expected me to work hard
Let me be bored

WeSellAnyBra · 12/04/2022 14:12

Instilled hospitality and generosity in us.

Instilled good manners in us.

We are avid readers because of my Mum.

leavingtime · 12/04/2022 14:27

When I was a child my mother put an amount of money [not loads] into a building society account for me. When I married we then had a good amount to put towards a deposit for our house. I have always been grateful for that as it's given me security ever since.

My mother gave me a love of reading, art and gardening/shrubs/trees/flowers.

I was brought up with manners and a moral compass. I don't think I've ever dropped litter onto a pavement or in the country...to conditioned not to!

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Families
VeryQuaintIrene · 12/04/2022 14:32

“The best thing for disturbances of the spirit is to learn. That is the only thing that never fails. You may grow old and trembling in your anatomies, you may lie awake at night listening to the disorder of your veins, you may miss your only love and lose your moneys to a monster, you may see the world about you devastated by evil lunatics, or know your honor trampled in the sewers of baser minds. There is only one thing for it then--to learn. Learn why the world wags and what wags it. That is the only thing which the poor mind can never exhaust, never alienate, never be tortured by, never fear or distrust, and never dream of regretting.”
― T.H. White, The Sword in the Stone

My mum lived by this and taught me to do the same. It's been invaluable.

Ragwort · 12/04/2022 14:43

Lots of these, encouraged saving, supported my learning (which involved paying for tutors - I hated it at the time but it got me through my Maths 'O' level - showing my age), installed good manners and the ability to make small talk, encouraged self esteem, modelled volunteering - my DPs were still volunteering in their 80s.

I note I am very similar with my own DS (maths tutors for 4 years Grin), he is very sensible with money and has considerable savings and investments even at 21, he does volunteering and is super confident when meeting new people and new situations.

Being generous - when you can - it's just nice to be 'nice'. Smile. My DPs were/are very generous and I try be the same.

MrsTerryPratchett · 12/04/2022 14:45

She taught me that my body belongs to me. I make the decisions regarding it. Hot on consent was my mum.

She also gave me, and in turn DD, a good vocabulary. She didn't have a great education but she read and learned and made sure I did too.

Finfintytint · 12/04/2022 14:52

My mother made sure we had plenty of books with weekly visits to the library. I love reading anything now.
Also, I’ve picked up her habit of never wasting food. Everything gets used up.

DailyMailHater · 12/04/2022 14:55

Never said “I told you so”

Whislt they haven’t always agreed with my decisions they always respected that it was my decision to make, and if (when) things went wrong, they were there for moral support and to guide me to sort it out (but never to just magic everything better for me) and they never ever said “we told you so”, but instead we’re proud that I managed to resolve the issue.

I feel this has given me a good grounding to deal with things when life sometimes throws the unexpected at you.

Cheeseycheeseycheesecheese · 12/04/2022 14:57

Don't only tell me they love me, show me.

Taught me to be independent and self sufficient, but equally made sure I know that no matter what, I can always go home to them.

Let me tell them anything with no judgement (on the surface) which lead to our relationship being very open, honest and as I aged, became more of a friendship than a parent child relationship once I hit my mid-late teens.

Basically they gave me all the tools I needed to be a half decent human 🤣

Deathraystare · 12/04/2022 14:59

From Mum a sense of fairness ( though as a teen I felt she spoilt my little brother- the classic 3rd child, the one you relax rules and stuff with, not to their betterment incidentally!!). From Dad an absolute lust for reading and finding out about stuff, he also stood up for the underdog (despite being a blood Express reader, same as mum!!!).

Deathraystare · 12/04/2022 15:00

Bloody not blood!

Clawdy · 12/04/2022 15:03

Mum was far from being house proud, but she always made up the beds first thing in the morning, so that "if anyone feels poorly or tired, and needs a lie-down, the bed's ready for them." I still do the same! Grin

KStockHERO · 12/04/2022 15:03

Taught me that its good to be different, don't try to be the same as everyone else. I hated it at times but it instilled a sense of confidence, defiance and non-conformity which saw me well through my teenage years.

In primary school, all the girls had school summer dresses in a light-green chequered pattern but my summer dress had dark green stripes. At the same time, all the girls had long, flowy princess hair but I had a sharp, Twiggy-esque bob Grin

Artichokeleaves · 12/04/2022 15:04

Sang, both of them, and both played instruments. Growing up with music a normal every day part of the household.

8Sense8 · 12/04/2022 15:04

To not be afraid to be alone, to be proud to work, to not expect to rely on anyone, to not depend on another for my own happiness.

Selfraising · 12/04/2022 15:06

My parents were very playful. Everything was light-hearted and fun. Lots of silliness and laughter.

Good manners, "being polite and friendly takes you far".

Interesting conversations from a very young age. They were interested in what we had to say, and were interesting to listen to.

Plus great genetics looks-wise! Grin

(Sadly they divorced when we were all teenagers, and the fun (and interest in us!) definitely stopped!)

Frankincense88 · 12/04/2022 15:13

Encouraged a love of reading

Insisting on sitting down for meals as a family so we could talk about our day and share stories

Never letting me have a TV in my room (even though at the time I thought it was SO UNFAIR BECAUSE ALL MY FRIENDS HAVE GOT ONE 😂)

oliviastwisted · 12/04/2022 15:13

My parents did absolutely loads of great things, they modelled a really strong work ethic, a clean and very well organised home, they valued education enormously, they tried to be good citizens and give back as much or indeed more than they took in life and they definitely tried their best to be good role models for their children and good parents but sadly they were emotionally and psychologically neglectful and ultimately emotionally and psychologically abusive and no amount of neglect/abuse is acceptable in a family and you can’t make up for it with the good stuff but it is worth acknowledging that there was plenty of good stuff too.

GrouchyKiwi · 12/04/2022 15:41

Gave us a love of reading.
Gave us the courage of our convictions.
Taught us how to run a house (all of us, boys and girls), so we all know how to cook, clean and do laundry. And Dad taught us all some basic car maintenance.
Most of all, always let us know we were loved.

Nc123 · 12/04/2022 15:43

Loved me. My mum has always been my biggest cheerleader.

My dad taught me how to work hard.

Traumdeuter · 12/04/2022 15:45

Read to me from birth and encouraged a love of reading. They now do the same with their grandchildren!

Both worked a mixture of part time and full time when I was growing up, depending on job situation and childcare needs. Cooking, cleaning and general life admin was also shared equitably.

Madre123 · 12/04/2022 15:47

NOTHING

Echobelly · 12/04/2022 15:49

Never compared the three of us

My mum always pointed out the beauty of different kinds of women, or different races, shapes and sizes - I think that helped me to be confident in my body and that you didn't have to be a popular archetype to feel happy in your looks

Always told us the value of things so we learned to be responsible with money

Made it clear we were lucky to be quite well off so we weren't spoilt and knew other people didn't have it so good

Modelling how a relationship can work and survive ups and downs rather than giving up when the going is tough

PollyPutTheKettleOnKettleOn · 12/04/2022 15:51

Sooo many. Far more than what they got wrong.

Love and continual support. Teaching good manners and justice. Inspired love of reading and history, which influenced my career choices. Taught me to respect and know my body.

The list goes on.
What a wonderful thread. They drive me crackers at times but they are always there for me and I don't know what I'll do without them one day. I am very lucky.

StandardPoodle · 12/04/2022 17:48

Taught me how to budget.
Gave me a moral compass.

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