Stupidly giving my mother the benefit of the doubt, trying to be the better person by being civil with her, only for her to confirm for me decades later that she is the absolutely horrendous human being I always thought. Should have continued to have no contact with her like I did for the first six months I moved out as a teenager, but I felt that was unfair on my father, so I made a pretence of being civil with my mother for his sake. As soon as he was gone she went straight back to being the cow she was for most of my childhood and teens.
Zero contact with her now for over six months. She's had a cancer scare and I couldn't care less. My life is immeasurably easier and happier without her in it, and I would be perfectly at peace if I never hear another word about her for all eternity.
You can pick your friends etc etc, but I've no idea why so many people feel obliged to maintain relationships with terrible people just because they are family. Bin them off. You'll honestly feel much better for it.