Over weight dd

[Mrspimplepopper]

My dd 12 is very very overweight, it's entirely my fault. I am to blame. I am to blame for saying yes to sweets, I love to see her smile. I am to blame to giving too much food in her packed lunch because I didn't want her to be hungry at school.

I have my own weight issues and I swore before she was born that I would never let my dd become overweight. And I have...

I feel so sad for her, part of me wants to wrap her in cotton wool and shut the world out so they won't judge her or me.

I need to help her

She wants to be healthy, she asks me to buy salad...

Shes asked to sign up to the local council gym, I'm going this evening to enquire

I dont know what foods to give her, whats a healthy snack?? Fruit? Toast? I want to get rid of crisps and biscuits but I'm scared my mind is so messed up I don't know what normal eating is...

Rather than asking random people on the internet it might be best to speak to a dietitian who can give you proper advice about healthy choices as well as things like portion sizes.

A harsh lesson learnt but don’t linger on what has happened, focus on moving forward and helping your daughter be healthy.

Exercise is key here as well as eating healthy foods.

Perhaps something you can do together such as cycling?

I was hoping that random people on the Internet might be kind enough to share their healthy snack ideas

@TwoShades1

Rather than asking random people on the internet it might be best to speak to a dietitian who can give you proper advice about healthy choices as well as things like portion sizes.

She might be fearful of being in trouble and referred to social services.

If she has 3 healthy meals a day she won't need snacks.

I'm going to the leisure centre this evening to sign us up, then we can go swimming together

www.nhs.uk/live-well/healthy-weight/childrens-weight/overweight-children-advice-for-parents/

Speak to the dr they can refer to a dietitian, I’ve had this with my son he has asd and is always hungry, gp can refer.

@Mrspimplepopper

I'm going to the leisure centre this evening to sign us up, then we can go swimming together

That’s a great start.

I feel for you OP. She is young yet and you have time to sort this out.

Healthy things for children of her age:

Breakfast
Porridge
Scrambled egg on wholemeal toast
weetabix with low fat milk

Lunch:
homemade vegetable soup with 2 slices of brown bread
Wrap with lean ham / turkey and salad
salad with sliced chicken breast
beans on wholemeal toast
salad with hardboiled egg

Dinner
stirfry with lean protein and lots of veg
cottage pie, add diced extra veg to the meat and top with a mix of potato and cauliflower mashed together
Salmon with green veg and new potatoes steamed

Snacks - try to limit with without making a big deal
homemade popcorn
fruit
oatcakes with a slice of cheese
sliced apple with a spoon of peanut butter
homemade icepops using fruit juice
Homemade flapjacks - lots of lower sugar recipes about

Good luck - you can do it!

I have the Nutracheck app on my phone - I think it's about £23 for the year. It counts calories, you can scan bar codes, and you can set the diet how you want it either just a balanced diet or low fat or low sugar etc.
obviously it's designed for adults so you can monitor your weight on it and while I don't think you should let your dd have the app as she is still a child, you can use it to monitor what you eat and buy etc and your dd can then follow a healthy diet similar to yours.

58Daphnedot, thankyou that's really helpful

www.nhs.uk/live-well/eat-well/food-guidelines-and-food-labels/the-eatwell-guide/

00ItWasntMyFault, thankyou very much for this, sounds like a really good idea

Dont ban "bad" foods entirely it will damage her relationship with food further just limit more than you are now.

Some ideas here

www.nhs.uk/healthier-families/food-facts/healthier-food-swaps/

A lot of it - especially at 12 when hormones ramp up and their appetite gets larger anyway - is portion control.

Do you know what a ‘normal’ portion is? You can get plates to help - you might both benefit?

A family change is always going to be more successful with a child than them doing it alone, so treat this as your chance to learn too.

ElenaSt, thankyou for the link, I'm just having a look now

Download the NHS Better Health app. It helps you make healthier options. It's good she wants to make changes, she needs you to provide it

Today 11:59 ElenaSt

Mrspimplepopper
I'm going to the leisure centre this evening to sign us up, then we can go swimming together

That’s a great start”

It is, can you afford bikes? Lovely way to spend a sunny afternoon.

Witchesbelazy, thankyou, do you police the food cupboards? Atm my dd has almost free reign really. I'm scared she'll hate me

Fruit is good to snack on in-between meals. Veg, tuna, low fat cheeses. Just get Rod of the biscuits amd crisps but do allow her some some of the time. It's all about moderation and not creating eating disorders. I am in a similar position so I understand how difficult it is.

MrsSkylerWhite, we could if I save up a bit. Tbh I'm a bit worried I won't be able to ride up the street let alone go on a 'bike ride'

Hopefully the leisure centre will have instructors that can give you both a personal fitness plan does it have a gym.? Food is such a pleasure that you thought you were doing good, but you can change don't ban food but limit the treats maybe the weekend or a packet of crisps in the week. If you are on board with changing your eating lifestyle then she will be too.

MissMaple82, I'm sorry your in a similar situation.

I'm not buying anymore crisps and biscuits. I need to help my dd