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Original poster

Got my 'dream job' after university and I absolutely hate it :(

62 replies

ihatesundaynights · 10/04/2022 21:21

I got my 'dream job' after university, working in marketing for a pharmaceutical company

I absolutely hate it. I've been there 6 months and I have a constant sense of dread in the evenings and weekends about it. My mental health is so low.

I have no idea what to do now. I feel trapped because I can't figure out a way out or where to go from here

OP posts:
Alvinne · 10/04/2022 21:25

This is a horrible feeling, I've been there. Are you able to pinpoint any specific aspects of the job that give you the dread feeling? Try not to panic, you've done really well to get a good job straight out of uni and it will certainly lead on to other things. A horrible job can really teach you a lot about yourself and what you like/dislike.

The first 6-8 months in a new job are almost always really hard because it can feel like you don't know what you are doing or you just don't click with anyone. Persevere with it as best you can while looking for something else.

LifeIsHardAlways · 10/04/2022 21:25

@ihatesundaynights

I got my 'dream job' after university, working in marketing for a pharmaceutical company

I absolutely hate it. I've been there 6 months and I have a constant sense of dread in the evenings and weekends about it. My mental health is so low.

I have no idea what to do now. I feel trapped because I can't figure out a way out or where to go from here

hugs

There is always a solution. Is it the actual work you hate or is it the work environment?

ApolloandDaphne · 11/04/2022 03:11

My DD works for an agency doing pharmaceutical marketing. It too is her first job out of uni and she has been there 18 months. She really hates it as the pressure is unbearable but has now landed a new job working for an arts charity using the same skills but in a different sector. Can you not start looking around at other jobs to see what else you can do and make a move out using the skills you have developed?

Hawkins001 · 11/04/2022 03:49

@ihatesundaynights

I got my 'dream job' after university, working in marketing for a pharmaceutical company

I absolutely hate it. I've been there 6 months and I have a constant sense of dread in the evenings and weekends about it. My mental health is so low.

I have no idea what to do now. I feel trapped because I can't figure out a way out or where to go from here

What's the disadvantages about the role ?
thingymaboob · 11/04/2022 03:50

Have you got any savings? Could you leave and go travelling and have some fun and reflect what you'd like to do?

StartupRepair · 11/04/2022 03:58

Is it the work or is it the people/culture? Try to identify what it is you most hate. It can help your mental health just to clarify what it is that is so awful and consider your options.
Life is too short. Don't feel trapped.

Kuachui · 11/04/2022 04:05

id go on a bit of a trip. take some time off, go traveling, maybe backpacking france or something if you could afford it

D0lphine · 11/04/2022 04:13

Get a new job. Life is too short.

lljkk · 11/04/2022 04:33

Hannah Frye, the Radio4 (science/math) presenter did this. Bit sheepish & funny talking about it. She was a petrol head who then hated working in the car racing industry even though that was her long-cherished dream, iirc.

Why so down? A million career pathways in front of you. Crack on with trying some of them.

autienotnaughty · 11/04/2022 04:46

Yes I retrained in my 30's to work in social services. It was rewarding but so hard my mental health deteriorated but I felt like I couldn't leave after all the training. I had a breakdown and got sacked for being off sick so much. I recovered and now work in a library, I love it. I wish I'd realised sooner that I had options and not let it get so bad. You will have transferable skills, look for something else.

Butfirstcoffees · 11/04/2022 04:51

As pp say, you need to figure our what ot is you are so unhappy with.

You may feel different in a different role in the same company or different company. Or you may need to look at your skills and see how they translates to a different industry.

Think about why you picked what you studied. What you hoped it would be and why it's not that.

Sometimes actively analysing and trying to improve your situation can give you a small improvement in your mental health. Just enough to get you through it.

WalrusSubmarine · 11/04/2022 05:02

I think the first year out of uni is tough anyway. Work is boring!!!! You can’t go out as much. Your salary has to go on crap like rent and transport and food. You have to learn office politics (dealing with people that block and stifle things, bullies, workaholics, people pleasers. Learning what your rights are and what your boundaries are etc). Part of the feeling is probably this adjustment.

But Is there anything or anyone specifically that’s causing the issue?

I wish I’d done some sort of a grad program as friends that did seemed to have an instant gang and lots of different projects and it seemed a bit of a continuation of uni. I went into quite a conservative office with older (but lovely) people and did a lot of admin!

Cactusandmarshmallows · 11/04/2022 05:03

I had this! I told myself that if I still felt that way on my one year anniversary I’d leave without regrets. It worked

WalrusSubmarine · 11/04/2022 05:11

Sorry posted too soon.

I think the culture and environment plays such a massive part - even team to team in the same organisation. A good boss, a mate to have lunch with, a mentor to go to, a few people to drink with - this is the stuff that can make all the difference. If it’s boring work you might have to just wait it out until they trust you with the interesting projects. It might be that you can get involved with internal committees or sports teams that help you feel more involved.

But don’t settle. There’s a good market and there’s every reason to try something else.

RustyShackleford3 · 11/04/2022 05:15

Oh wow, I've been there. I really can empathise.

What is the root of this issue? Do you feel like you aren't good enough? Is the job not what you thought it would be?

Spend some time digging deep to really figure out what is giving you that sense of dread. Once you've figured that out, the way forward will be much more clear. Don't just pack the job in and go and get a similar job somewhere else if that's likely to make you just as miserable.

LaurenKelsey · 11/04/2022 05:46

I don’t have any advice to offer as my work was in education, but my daughter is in a very similar situation as the OP, first job out of uni and hates it. I love reading the supportive comments from all of you who are able to advise.

whiteroseredrose · 11/04/2022 05:59

I hear you. I worked in pharmaceutical marketing after my MBA.

The money and perks are great but it can be high pressure.

What I would say is that different companies can have very different cultures.

The first company I worked for was American and had a toxic culture. Colleagues felt it was their job to ask as obscure questions as possible during eachother's presentations to make others look stupid.

I switched to a much smaller German company and it could not have been more different. A much more relaxed and supportive culture.

If you can stick it out for a year to 18 months then look for a similar job elsewhere?

SuperJune · 11/04/2022 06:25

Hey OP! I graduated in 2017 and was delighted to secure my first job in what I thought was a dream (comms agency). Turned out to be anything but - I could have written your post. The below is what I did and reflections on it since which are hopefully comforting for you. Hugs, it is so so terrible but be reassured there's a lovely job out there for you.

  • I stayed for 1 year. This is so it looked like I had an acceptable stint on the CV. I started looking for another job around the 9 months mark. It was a very very hard year but having a plan to get out helped. I tried to ask my manager for support but this was useless. Perhaps your manager could help more, though?
  • I also stayed because I had to pay rent. I didn't have any other way to pay bills except my horrible toxic job. If you're the same, hold your head up high, you can do this. If this isn't a problem for you, leave sooner. Others in the company who joined the same time at me left within a few months if they could manage it financially and seemed to have got another job just fine.
  • I went to another job that paid a bit better but was also in the charity/government sector. This helped a lot. So when you're looking for jobs think a bit laterally about what your skills could do. If nothing else you get experience in a different part of the field which is always good for your CV and for you!
  • Be assured that your education and skills are not wasted. I was so upset as I thought 'years at uni, for what? I've totally misjudged everything'. I thought I had chosen the wrong field. Now having progressed really well and loving what I do, I realise that first jobs are generally rough and not quite what you want - though some like yours and mine are exceptionally bad. Please do not get disheartened and blame yourself. Some work places are awful and it's plain bad luck to end up at one on your first job, with nothing to compare it to so you end up blaming yourself.
  • You'll progress in your career after this and be a better leader because you can reflect on your bad experience, and use it to avoid creating a similar culture in your own organisation.
Eesha · 11/04/2022 06:27

There's always a solution. I had this sense of dread when working in my first proper role in pharmaceuticals too but I think its important to see what's actually driving your discontent. I was being bullied plus I struggled with the technical aspects. There will always be roles out there in more suitable companies/cultures. This is not the be all and end all.

ImplementingTheDennisSystem · 11/04/2022 06:30

I was so depressed after Uni. The working world seemed dull and pointless. I hated being indoors all day. It took until about 26/28 for it to vaguely 'click' and for me to get into the groove.
What about your work don't you like OP?

JuliusSneezer · 11/04/2022 06:35

I was similar. Studied 5 years. Hated job so much it was impacting my every moment. I quit, went travelling on a credit card for three months. Came back and totally swapped career/industry to something I was passionate about. Worked damn hard, wasn’t all idyllic, far from it, but the genuine interest helped and now 20 years later I earn well (higher rate tax payer), in an industry/job I like. It’s not all perfect, but for me better than my original potential career! And the credit card debt from that life-changing travel is long cleared and worth every penny of interest at the time.

You are young, you are not trapped.

Momijin · 11/04/2022 06:40

Is it marketing or the company or the type of marketing that you do?

pigcon1 · 11/04/2022 06:53

Sounds breezy but I wouldn’t go travelling on credit.

Definitely look for another role. If you are not enjoying the job but so like the company then see if there are other positions (advertised internally). If not leave and find another role whilst temping. Don’t worry about getting the perfect thing just keep going.

speakout · 11/04/2022 07:07

A " dream job" is often only in other people's eyes.

I had a couple of "dream jobs"- working in sales in the biotechnology sector.
Flash company car, huge salary, massive bonuses, bottomless expense account, I would regularly fly to San Fransisco, Paris, Geneva for meetings.Handmade shoes and cashmere coats, My friends and family thought I was living the dream.
I was utterly miserable.
A cut-throat team, constantly watching my back, grinding targets, lewd behaviour from colleages and business partners, I was miserable staying away in hotels so much, my ( now ex) partner grew bored at home and I was worried about his fidelity. I suffered bad anxiety, high level meetings and presentations affected my sleep, my appetite, i was surviving on coffee.
Now decades later I could probably do the job far more easily- but then it was too much, too soon- it had a bad effect on my mental health.

Pipsquiggle · 11/04/2022 07:07

Sorry you're going through this. It is very hard in the moment, however, this experience will be so valuable to you in your future.

You need to be really forensic about what aspects of the job you hate and if there are any parts that are OK. Think culture, management style, process, autonomy, money etc.

As another post suggested, I would try to be there for a year - this a normal tenure for a job - start looking for a new job around the 9 month mark.

So here is the suggested time line:
Next few months work out what you love /hate about your role. Talk to other people in other industries
Get your CV sorted
Around 9 months start applying for new jobs.

The other thing to consider is if there is a round of redundancies, look at the package and see if you can put yourself forward. There is nothing sweeter than being paid to leave a shit job.