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Original poster

Got my 'dream job' after university and I absolutely hate it :(

62 replies

ihatesundaynights · 10/04/2022 21:21

I got my 'dream job' after university, working in marketing for a pharmaceutical company

I absolutely hate it. I've been there 6 months and I have a constant sense of dread in the evenings and weekends about it. My mental health is so low.

I have no idea what to do now. I feel trapped because I can't figure out a way out or where to go from here

OP posts:

Dontforgetyourbrolly · 11/04/2022 07:12

I think this is quite normal for your first ' proper ' job , I remember feeling like this myself. It's just a massive dose of reality all at once. It got better and improved, I made lots of friends but after 2 years I went to work abroad and never looked back !

Dinoteeth · 11/04/2022 07:20

Op I'd try and stick it out for a year.
Leaving before 4 months is seen as a bad move.
Leaving after 6-7 months is seen as a problem with you or them.
Leaving after year you can explain away as wanting different experience.

Some of what you are feeling could just be effectively being the junior just out of uni who's still got a lot of learning and experience to gain.

notanothertakeaway · 11/04/2022 07:24

Stick it out for a year, in case it becomes easier / to demonstrate commitment / know you gave it a fair attempt

Try to work out if it's the work you hate, or the employers

Consider marketing in a different field, or pharmaceutical but not marketing

Are you entitled to careers support / advice from uni?

If you think of something you might prefer, do some voluntary work in that field, to gain experience / understanding

Don't be like my cousin, who has hated her job for years, but never felt able to change direction. It only gets harder. If deep down, you feel marketing / pharmaceuticals is t for you, take the plunge and change direction

And, finally, most important, remember that these things tend to work out fine in the end

Sarah13xx · 11/04/2022 07:26

I’ve been a teacher for the last 6 years for the same reason, purely because ‘I went to uni’ so I should do it. I’ve made it very clear to my family how unhappy it makes me yet they’re still under the impression I should just suck it up and continue.

Life’s too short! You will be able to do lots of other things with your degree. Don’t spend even a day in a job that’s ruining your mental health. Leave!

DrSbaitso · 11/04/2022 07:28

Not an uncommon situation at all. You're in good company.

Use what you've learned to move forward. Do you hate the actual work itself? The organisation? The industry? Your colleagues?

Iwonder08 · 11/04/2022 07:36

My advise would be not give up just yet. You get used to pressure and frankly without pressure there won't be big salary in any industry. You need to try and identify what exactly you hate so much and try to address each point individually.
It is entirely possible you are just stressed because it is your first job after uni and the real work environment

TikTokCat · 11/04/2022 07:38

Which bit is your dream? The job, the industry, or the combination?

Ellmau · 11/04/2022 07:43

You're not trapped. You can apply for other jobs, and it's always easier if you're already in work.

So you need to think about what jobs to go for.

What about this one made it your dream job? And why is not now?

That's your starting point.

Then what transferrable skills and qualifications do you have now? And what might you be able to get in the future?

Don't lose heart.

MarshaBradyo · 11/04/2022 07:43

Can you say more about why you dislike it?

Nc123 · 11/04/2022 07:51

Break it down. What particular aspects of the job are causing you to feel like this?

peoplewatching · 11/04/2022 07:55

You should have a look at some charity marketing roles, the culture will be entirely different and far more rewarding. You’ll cv will be impressive to charities who fund research.

Good luck OP!

PermanentTemporary · 11/04/2022 07:55

I loathed my first job and was so miserable there. I found the industry I worked in so completely pointless and uninteresting. There were lots of other issues including the shock of work and being pretty bad at the job but fundamentally i didn't care about what i was doing and in fact i came to hate the whole industry and still do. I left after 10 months and went to work in a hospital as a physiotherapy assistant and knew from day 1 that although there were lots of things that were difficult about the job, I was working in the right setting where I was interested and thought it was important.

Do not panic. It is early days. There are other jobs and your working life will never be a nice straight line, it's more like a tree. See if you can find a mentor or really anyone who's a bit older, maybe in different jobs, and talk to them.

Hatinafield · 11/04/2022 08:09

As has been said, really work out what you hate about it. Then try and come up with creative ways to make those bits slightly less all-pervading.

Is there anything at all you enjoy in the role? Try and maximise that.

What else can you focus on this year to make work less big in your life? Take up running or do an online learning course or prioritise seeing friends three nights a week or whatever.

Get through a year and then move on, and make it as bearable as you can in the meantime

OchreDandelion · 11/04/2022 08:17

@ihatesundaynights

I got my 'dream job' after university, working in marketing for a pharmaceutical company

I absolutely hate it. I've been there 6 months and I have a constant sense of dread in the evenings and weekends about it. My mental health is so low.

I have no idea what to do now. I feel trapped because I can't figure out a way out or where to go from here

I felt similar when I first graduated (different job to what I do now).

My university careers service was actually available to graduates for a year post-graduation. I had a really useful session with them which helped me reframe the experience in a way that helped me. i.e. recognising it was my choice to stay, setting goals I wanted to get out of it.

It didn't change the nature of the job itself but made me feel a lot more in control and less trapped.

Could you see if you are entitled to similar?

CoconutQueen · 11/04/2022 08:20

This is such a helpful thread; thank you all.

There is also a thread on "work" section about "when did you know it was time to leave your job" which I've just read; really relevant to all of this:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/work/4526599-What-were-your-signs-it-s-time-to-leave-your-job?watched=1&msgid=116538642#116538642

Phos · 11/04/2022 08:22

I feel for you there's nothing worse than being stuck in a job that makes you so miserable.

Is this a grad scheme or similar? If so I'd stick it out for however long it lasts; leaving a grad scheme is career suicide but look for something else for afterwards using your skills like PR, copywriting or marketing in another sector.

Xtraincome · 11/04/2022 08:24

Stick it out to the 12-18 month mark after you've targeted the real problem- team, workload, management etc.

You're not meant to find your forever career so early on, buy you are meant to learn what you want/like from a job and you are doing this now. It's a big learning curve but it will work out for the better. Good luck OP.

ilovechocolate07 · 11/04/2022 08:25

100% leave and experience different things in the short term. I've felt trapped in a 'career/sector' for 20 years now. I love a lot of it and I'm good at it, although maybe elements Stockholm Syndrome, and only just finding a path out. If I were to do it again I'd have tried out a few different jobs early on. Life is too short to be this unhappy.

Festivalpartygirl · 11/04/2022 08:26

See it as a means to an end, if not already got some savings, get together a travel fund, go off as PP have already said. You are young, go and explore, too young to get saddled down in a job you don’t like even if it does pay well.

zafferana · 11/04/2022 08:31

I think this is really common OP - to jump into something you think will be your dream straight out of uni and then reality bites and you realise that what sounded like an okay salary is peanuts, the hours are horrendous, the stress is awful and the whole package is just miserable.

I did the same thing myself - thought that a certain thing would suit me down to the ground and within three months realised that not only did I hate the job, but I hated the people I worked with, hated the whole culture and was utterly miserable. I quit. I had a three-month probation period and I told them it wasn't for me and left. I temped for a while after that, just to earn some money while I figured out what to do next. It was SUCH a relief to walk out on the last day. It was 25 years ago and I can still remember how happy I felt!

Datada · 11/04/2022 08:33

It's not the job for you, to make you so low. Give yourself time to find the right fit, for you! Whatever you decide, keep your outgoing costs low and avoid debt.

Oblomov22 · 11/04/2022 08:37

This is easily resolvable.

I negotiated hard to get my dream job in a local pharmaceutical business, doing accounts, my dream hours of 4 days at a very high salary. I hated it, burst into tears, and left. I was so saddened.

Tiredalwaystired · 11/04/2022 08:40

Is it company culture or the day to day work? If it’s culture that’s easy to fix - just switch company. Maybe something charity or public sector would suit better - you will have lots of transferable skills into something like marketing for a healthcare charity or working in communications in the NHS for example.

C8H10N4O2 · 11/04/2022 08:41

Don't rush into a decision, the first year in a "real" job is often tough going. Instead, try to work out what you do and don't like about the job. Eg you may like the people but dislike the core skills of the job, or love some parts of the job but hate others.

If you can list the pros and cons of the job it will help you work out if your next move should be a different sector or simply a different company.

Changing career after twelve months looks better than after six. Its reasonable to say "I gave it a year but at the end of that year it clearly wasn't the right path for me" and then show how the new path is different and more aligned with your ambitions.

zafferana · 11/04/2022 08:42

@ImplementingTheDennisSystem

I was so depressed after Uni. The working world seemed dull and pointless. I hated being indoors all day. It took until about 26/28 for it to vaguely 'click' and for me to get into the groove. What about your work don't you like OP?

I also think this is really pertinent. Is it just that working FT is bloody hard OP and you're struggling to adjust? I think a lot of us go through that, because until you start working FT you always had the holidays to look forward to, so however hard you worked during term-time you then get some time off to regroup, sleep, relax. It IS a shock to the system to realise that from now on you're only going to have 4 or 5 weeks off each year. I hated working FT to start with, because of that. You get so little time off and it's exhausting.

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