Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

Dealing with ungrateful children

46 replies

Stopsnowing · 05/04/2022 22:23

I am so very tired of taking my children on holiday. Every time I say it will be the last time and then hope triumphs over experience and I take them
Away again. They are ungrateful, moan, squabble and show no interest in anything. It is a huge financial sacrifice to take them (these are cheap budget U.K. hols) and also tiring for me. I tried staycations and that was even worse. I have tried expressing how I feel and frankly they just don’t care. I really don’t think they deserve a holiday given how they behave and I really resent them for it.

OP posts:
mdh2020 · 05/04/2022 22:25

Have you tried asking them what they would like to do? It sounds as if perhaps they are not very happy with what you plan. Perhaps staying home but planning a few days out would be better so they have their own things around them.

BigSandyBalls2015 · 05/04/2022 22:26

How old?

LeavesOnTrees · 05/04/2022 22:27

How about signing them up for some sort if holiday activity programme?

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Families
Toloveandtowork · 05/04/2022 22:28

How sharper than a serpents tooth it is to have an ungrateful child.

WhatTheWhoTheWhatThe · 05/04/2022 22:29

How old are they?

Original poster
Stopsnowing · 05/04/2022 22:29

Tween and teen. They would happily just sit around all day on tv or phone. The holidays I plan are all centred around childrens activities. It is not as if I am dragging them around art galleries or doing anything I want to do! The trouble is they have nothing in common and don’t like any of the same things. And frankly I deserve a holiday.

OP posts:
Easterisoffeggstooexpensive · 05/04/2022 22:30

Taking 2 younger ones this year. Ungrateful teens staying home.
Can't wait..

Original poster
Stopsnowing · 05/04/2022 22:30

I am thinking of sending them away for a residential camp but they are so expensive and they wouldn’t appreciate that either.

OP posts:
mbosnz · 05/04/2022 22:31

Them's the ages, and the stages. Just don't bother, if it causes you more pain than gain. Let them fester under their respective bridges. . .

Theunamedcat · 05/04/2022 22:33

Residential camp and you go on holiday alone? Or can there grandparents have them for a weekend and you go alone?

RandomMess · 05/04/2022 22:33

Yep but if you send them away you get a break and don't have to hear the arguing and moaning for the week?

Ijsbear · 05/04/2022 22:34

@Stopsnowing

I am thinking of sending them away for a residential camp but they are so expensive and they wouldn’t appreciate that either.
You'd get some peace though.
Original poster
Stopsnowing · 05/04/2022 22:34

I really think it has come to that I just won’t taken them anywhere again.

OP posts:
Original poster
Stopsnowing · 05/04/2022 22:36

Grandparents can’t have them. Elderly relative is taking them for a week as I have to go abroad on a business trip but that is v much the exception and will be first and last time. I can only blame myself for having apparently raised such entitled children.

OP posts:
Dailyfailcanfeckoff · 05/04/2022 22:45

You might be pleasantly surprised - I’ve taken dc on days out and thought it was a disaster.
Several years done the line and they quote it as their favourite memoriesShock (I’m accepting that at face value Grin)

It gets easier - keep persevering. The odd blow up from you reminding them to be grateful and smile doesn’t do any harm either.

Original poster
Stopsnowing · 05/04/2022 22:49

Bizarrely eldestdc was telling me the other day how wonderful lockdown was when I used to bake and take them on long walks - she hated it at the time!

OP posts:
AlaskaFound · 05/04/2022 22:53

Maybe they just don't like holidays - some people don't. Does that mean they are entitled? It's kind of the opposite of entitled, they'd rather stay home than have a holiday!

I'm sure it will pass.

Theunamedcat · 05/04/2022 22:53

Shame you can't hire childminders for a weekend give them your house and children and bugger off the kids might miss you

Original poster
Stopsnowing · 05/04/2022 22:55

Tomorrow I will ask them for their ideal holiday. They almost certainly won’t have any compatible ideas with each other but I might be proved wrong.

OP posts:
SheWoreYellow · 05/04/2022 22:55

My grumpy teen was much better the holiday we took her friend on. Is that something you’d consider?

SmellyWellyWoo · 05/04/2022 22:57

I find U.K. holidays abysmal and would rather not bother. Maybe they are the same?

Confusedteacher · 05/04/2022 22:59

It’s the age. I find it really hard as I grew up in a very low income family and have tried very hard to give my DC everything I didn’t have, and sometimes it feels like the eldest (almost 14) really doesn’t appreciate the value of money. I have tried to stop nagging because I know it doesn’t work, they are so single minded and self centred at this age. I try to make her understand the value of money more by giving her money for certain jobs or explaining no we can’t go out for dinner this week as I don’t get paid til next week etc. Or explaining if you want a big party that means less money for a present.

I think the key is to stop trying to control what you think they want to do. If they want to spend the holiday lolling around on their phones let them! Just get out a good book or take it in turns to babysit them (if you have a DP) while the other one does something more fun.

MoiraNotRuby · 05/04/2022 22:59

They are having a good time they just don't want to tell you! Mine at that stage sulked their way through what should have been a wonderful holiday... and when they reminisce about it now, tell me it was amazing. Fml they were moody little buggers on the actual holiday though!!!

Grit your teeth and carry on with the holiday that you want, need and deserve. Its hard work dragging them along but try and remain Teflon coated to their attitude.

Its normal and you have not done a bad parenting job. I promise Wine

Shoemadlady · 05/04/2022 23:00

Could you go with another family who have children, your own children are friends with?
Much easier on you and kids want other kids to muck about with x

PaperTyger · 05/04/2022 23:01

Op I have similar ish I am taking someone who seems like this - but people have different tastes and wants and usually when they get there they like something about it.

I know someone who gets a bit marytish about this sort of thing and it kills it for everyone.
Go and try and not to mention the moaning and enjoy it.

Try and remember this is their reality they dont understand what it is not to go away.

Swipe left for the next trending thread