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Original poster

Feel so embarrased

33 replies

Appliepie42 · 05/04/2022 14:14

Please be gentle. I feel really embarrased right now. Friend left something over when she last came to mine. I thought I would take it to her and see her too.

After a 2 hour bus and train journey I got to her area. I messaged to say I would be there in 8 mins.

I got there. They don’t have a buzzer so I knocked a few times no answer.

I then called 3 times. No answer.

I waited for about 5-10 mins. Nothing. I checked whatsap and she was online.

I don’t know why she didn’t call me after she missed my calls?

So I left her item behind the wheelie bin. Took a picture sent it to her and I said I’m going back.

She replied back saying thanks and if im not far to come back to which I replied I am as I walk fast.

I can’t make sense of what happened. I defo got annoyed after that long journey. And just feel really silly for doing that.

Was I wrong to be annoyed?

OP posts:
Itsvalentino · 05/04/2022 14:15

I’d be annoyed too, thats a long journey.

Strange that she was online too, yet ignored you.

Have you asked her why she didn’t answer?

PurpleDaisies · 05/04/2022 14:17

Did they know you were coming or was it just that 8 minutes notice?

AmberLynn1536 · 05/04/2022 14:17

Did you check she would be home before making a 2 hour trip to drop the item off? Did you only give her 8 minutes notice that you would be on her doorstep?

Original poster
Appliepie42 · 05/04/2022 14:17

@Itsvalentino thank you so much for the reply.

I didn’t ask her. Was too annoyed. I just thought won’t ever be going above and beyond anymore.

OP posts:
Original poster
Appliepie42 · 05/04/2022 14:18

@PurpleDaisies @AmberLynn1536 thank yoh for the replies. She said she was home all day and to come whenever. I set out at 11:30. She knew.

OP posts:
PurpleDaisies · 05/04/2022 14:19

I don’t think I would have wanted someone “going above and beyond” to surprise me with a visit. To be honest, I’d absolutely hate that. I need the warning someone is coming round.

TooMuchBluey · 05/04/2022 14:19

So you didn't see her in the end?

GingerFoxInAT0phat · 05/04/2022 14:20

I don’t really like unexpected visitors either. There’s nothing to be embarrassed about - just chalk it up as experience. Next time I would message/ring beforehand before making a journey just to make sure they will be in and/or you for visitors.

Original poster
Appliepie42 · 05/04/2022 14:20

It was arranged 4 days ago.

OP posts:
PurpleDaisies · 05/04/2022 14:21

Cross posted with you.

Strange behaviour from her if she knew to expect you and that you’d be staying for a bit.

How long between her missing the calls and phoning you back?

Original poster
Appliepie42 · 05/04/2022 14:21

Sorry I think I didn’t make it clear.
We arranged 4 days ago.
I messaged when I left at the house.
I messaged half way.
I messaged when I got off and walking distance.

But thank you. Just lesson learnt.

OP posts:
GingerFoxInAT0phat · 05/04/2022 14:21

Oh, that’s strange then.

GingerFoxInAT0phat · 05/04/2022 14:21

No need to feel embarrassed on your part, you did a nice thing.

tiddlywinks2 · 05/04/2022 14:22

You've got nothing to feel embarrassed for. What an ungrateful cow!

If you'd just shown up with 8 minutes notice I'd understand a bit, but it was arranged 4 days ago, there is no need at all for her rudeness.

You sound lovely op, I wish I had a friend like you. Thanks

Itsvalentino · 05/04/2022 14:22

I’d have to ask her, it’s not as if you turned up unannounced.

NewYearCalavicci · 05/04/2022 14:22

Did she know you were coming and how long it took you to get there ?

If you only gave me 8 minutes notice there is a good chance I probably wouldn't be in

AmberLynn1536 · 05/04/2022 14:24

No wonder you are annoyed then! I would be as well, personally if it was me I would ask her directly why she ignored the door and the phone calls, it’s bizarre she then told you to come back! Did she have music headphones on so couldn’t hear you? grasping at straws here!

AmberLynn1536 · 05/04/2022 14:24

She should be embarrassed not you!!

Scbchl · 05/04/2022 14:25

Sometimes il open WhatsApp and then go do something and leave my phone on the couch, could she of done that, maybe been in the toilet or something?

Scbchl · 05/04/2022 14:25

Id just ask her, how come you didn't answer when I knocked, called and messaged initially or call me back?

PurpleDaisies · 05/04/2022 14:26

I don’t understand why the first question when you saw her wasn’t “didn’t you hear me knocking?”

If I’m on WhatsApp on the laptop, that often shows me as online when I’m not.

NewYearCalavicci · 05/04/2022 14:27

Oops cross posted with you @Appliepie42.

In that case it is a bit strange of her , was there any chance she was in a meeting ( wfh ) so couldn't answer.

It annoys me when people keep knocking on my door when I am wfh. But then I would also warn people that I am wfh so may take me a while to get yo the door

Babdoc · 05/04/2022 14:31

EX “friend” now, I hope, OP!
That was a disgraceful way to treat you, after you’d travelled so far and gone to such trouble to restore an item that she forgot.
Whoever the hell she thinks she is, she obviously doesn’t have any respect or concern for you.

AnnieJ1985 · 05/04/2022 14:32

It could just be a mistake. Maybe she wasn't at her phone, she might not have heard you knock, she might have been on another call etc. If she replied saying to come back, it could be she had just seen all your messages and calls in one go. I leave my phone on silent when I am at work, and sometimes forget to put the sounds back on. I could easily miss a few calls if I was in the loo or hanging out my washing

Calandor · 05/04/2022 14:34

Why are you embarrassed? This kind of thing happens.

If they don't have a buzzer she might have been out back or in the loo or in the shower and not heard it.

If she didn't reply to your texts she might have shut her eyes on the sofa and accidentally fallen asleep. I have before.

Obviously just an accident.