I had DD2 on Sunday 27th March and she was born extremely quickly (pushed her out in one minute) the midwives noted on her body check (in her red book) that she had facial contusions on her cheeks and forehead due to this.
On day 3 DD started opening her eyes and I noticed she had a small red blood vessel in her right eye, DD1 had the exact same due to similar reasons and I remember at the time asking the community midwife about DD1s eye and her explaining it was pretty common in newborns.
Anyway so today I went for my day 5 community midwife appointment at the local maternity hospital and they examined DD2 as usual. They noticed the vessel in her eye and became quite serious saying it was a symptom of a shaken baby. I explained and showed them DDs birth examination and how it was probably because of the fast birth. The midwife agreed she could see that was why but said she would add it as a note on my file and I would need to now go down to the children’s ward, find a doctor to co sign it and confirm that the blood vessel was indeed from birth and not from being shaken. She stressed it was important because it had not been picked up originally when she was examined as a newborn (I don’t think I even saw them check her eyes)
So an hour later I spoke to a doctor in the children’s ward and explained everything. He became very serious and said I wasn’t allowed to leave until he had discussion with his consultant. He said he understood what I was saying but the fact was that the blood vessel wasn’t recorded at birth and so there was no evidence that I hadn’t shaken her. I started getting really panicky as he mentioned that the consultant would decided what would happen next but it may be decided that social services investigate and I wouldn’t be allowed to leave the hospital. He went off to discuss and was gone around 20 mins. Longest 20 mins of my life. He came back and said they have agreed it’s a common birth injury and will sign it off. But he sort of lectured me about how serious this was (like I had any control over the situation anyway) and I was still treated as suspicious. I went home and cried so much to DH as I have never experienced that sort of panic out of nowhere of potentially being investigated and having DD taken. It was a truly horrific feeling.
So obviously the whole event is over now but I’m finding myself seriously anxious about further appointments with the midwives and health visitors etc. I never realised something could escalate so quickly and I genuinely had no control over it. I felt like DD wasn’t mine and I was been treated as guilty. I’m so so scared now, I know that might sound silly but I feel like I’m a “suspicious parent” to them now and they could take anything else as further suspicion.
As a side note I totally agree that they are just trying to prevent child abuse and spot early signs, totally understand that. But to me this was a very simple oversight by the midwives (as they were the ones who missed the blood vessel by not checking her eyes at birth!) and I seemed to be the accused one in a state of panic.
I suppose I’m posting this as I’m hoping someone can come along and calm me and reassure me that this is normal or perhaps similar has happened to them. Sorry if this is long and rambling! I’m so stressed now.