I've had both. I hate these threads calling other people's choices rubbish. Both Apple and Android do pretty much the same thing but, sometimes in different ways. It's down to personal preference.
I prefer Android as I like the amount of customisation, but I bought an iPhone for my Mum as it is easier for me to provide 'tech support' over the phone because she can't get in a mess with altering too much. Apple's customer service is also better if you live near an Apple store or even over the phone.
I have a Samsung (s20fe), I love being able to customise the appearance with different launchers. I'm not keen on the "sameness" of iPhones. It has all the apps I need, I use Google pay, WhatsApp video, it has WiFi calling.
DD and DH have iPhones. It's true that most of the teens have iPhones at her school and they like to use Facetime. DH and DD can always track each others locations without an app, whereas it is more complicated with an Android/Apple mix (but is doable).
My Android has expandable memory and a dual Sim, I'm not sure either of those things are available on Apple. I also use OneDrive for my storage, DD says OneDrive is a pain with Apple.
You mention going for new or refurbished. All my phones come from CEX or Game, second hand A grade. They are always immaculate, never had any issues. DD's ipad was refurbished direct from Apple, again no issues.