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Original poster

Have you got someone from Ukraine staying with you.

57 replies

Yoohoo778611 · 31/03/2022 23:12

We are waiting for a mother, sister and a child each.
Hopefully it's not too long now, information we have been given it
should be Saturday or Monday.
We have had the council do a home visit and DBS check.
Can you please give me advice on how I can help them settle.
They have a bedroom for each mum with their child. Plus a bathroom between them.
I have stocked up on toiletries, toys, books and some clothes.

OP posts:
PingPages · 31/03/2022 23:14

Have you asked the local authority for any list of local charities offering any assistance? If you search on gov.uk there are lots of guides on how to help Ukrainians settle in, set up bank accounts etc

DoucheCanoe · 31/03/2022 23:15

No I don't.

worriedaboutmoney2022 · 31/03/2022 23:16

We don't have room for people here but I think what you are doing is absolutely lovely.
I've donated things to our local community centre tho (children's clothes and toys we've finished with)

My friend is expecting a mother and 2 girls coming and she's made up some baskets with things in like toys etc ready for the children, and got some nice treats in for the children too

PingPages · 31/03/2022 23:17

Depending on age of child, info from local authority website on school admissions. Info on applying for benefits, citizens advice can help too.

Bluetowelsandflannels · 31/03/2022 23:17

Amazing what you are doing, hope they all settle in as well as can be hoped xx

BitOutOfPractice · 31/03/2022 23:19

I don’t no, because I am just on the very verge of moving. Supposed to be tomorrow.

But thank god for lovely people like you who can and are.

Original poster
Yoohoo778611 · 31/03/2022 23:20

Yes I've been given lots of information from the gov.uk site.
I was just hoping for someones experience to help as I don't
want it to be clinical.
I hope they feel comfortable.

OP posts:
Honeyroar · 31/03/2022 23:23

There seem to be Facebook groups for people welcoming refugees from Ukraine. Might be worth having a look on there?

tinselvestsparklepants · 31/03/2022 23:27

No, but I've spoken to a Ukrainian friend who is staying somewhere else in Europe. What I've learned from her is that you need to take time to get to know individual personality and what is helpful to that person. For example - her well-meaning landlady keeps arranging for her to meet other Ukrainians, probably thinking she'll find comfort in that. But she finds it stressful to meet more strangers, even if they are from the same country, and hear even more stories about the war. Ditto bring invited to everything. Her landlady wants her to meet her entire family but she needs to rest - she's an introvert and she's just had to evacuate her country! She's grateful, but exhausted.

So I'd just say let your family take things at their own pace, provide options but include peace and quiet in those. Of course that might not be right for them - but giving respectful choices I think is really helpful.

You're doing a good thing.

FairyLightPups · 31/03/2022 23:29

I haven't done this but I've been a kinship carer for a mother & baby placement which isn't the same but there might be some things that have crossover. Advice I would give:

  • give them space and time to settle in
  • make sure there are quick and easy snacks in for them when they get in
  • make it easy for them to find anything they need ie towels hygiene products etc. Maybe even in a basket in their rooms
  • provide hangers in the wardrobes
  • depending on English language of the people staying with you it might be worth labeling rooms in both English and Ukrainian ie the bathroom kitchen etc
  • be upfront about any boundaries ie no smoking indoors or no loud music after 10pm
  • have a list of local mum and baby/toddler group's if there are any under 5s and offer to go with them the first time
  • print out/direct to a local map of the area with free things like library/community centre etc circled
  • offer to support with any paperwork if needed
  • ask and take an interest in favourite foods etc

That's everything I can think of for now, hopefully some of that is useful for you!

LaurelGrove · 31/03/2022 23:31

Waiting on a visa notification here but it's only been four days. Have had a call from the council and they should be coming next week to check the house.
I really wish we could get her out soon; her situation in Poland is very precarious and I'm really concerned about her health and well-being. We have started to get her room ready, and are collecting some clothes and bits and pieces as she brought almost nothing from Kharkiv when she left. I'm planning on a small box of toiletries, essentials like an umbrella and face masks, a SIM card, details about the house and the area and a few treats, like some chocolate and hand cream. Also trying to sort out some library access for her as she's a PhD student in sociology; she wants a job as soon as possible but also is keen to try to keep working.
We are trying to stay in touch as much as possible but she only has wifi intermittently. I plan on doing a short video tour of the house tomorrow to send so she will at least have some idea of where she will be staying.

LizzieMacQueen · 31/03/2022 23:32

I don't - still contemplating this one but will need to wait until major renovation is finished.

I'd think about some things to aid communication. Flashcards with pictures + corresponding word in English would be good.

whymewhyme · 31/03/2022 23:32

Do you mind if i ask how you got set up with a familly? We filled the interest form in and heard nothing what so ever! Very frustrating 😕

Original poster
Yoohoo778611 · 31/03/2022 23:42

One of our DS's friends wife is Polish. She helped us to get in touch with the mother.
Who is in Poland with her Sister. They wanted to stay together or at least nearby.
We have the room as our children are now married they will have a room each and
their children can sleep in the room with them or however they want to.
We have been communicating they have a good command of English

OP posts:
PenStation · 31/03/2022 23:45

How lovely of you. Flowers I would love to have someone stay and have helped a refugee before but I haven’t room now.

Download the google translate app to your phone. Give them plenty of quiet and space to settle in. Explain that there are no dangerous spiders here, there is only one poisonous snake (the adder). Get some fruit and veg in, rice, flour, real basics… these kinds of foods transcend cultural differences better than pre-made things.

ColinRobinsonsFart · 31/03/2022 23:45

We have filled in the visas for our guests and I have had an email from our local council saying they want to visit.

DH and I are trying to learn a bit of Ukrainian

Neverreturntoathread · 31/03/2022 23:46

There was some advice on Facebook (that I don’t feel I should screenshot) but the main bit I remember was to never intrude into their room which is now their only safe space, and to understand that they are traumatised people who may not act consistently and also they are not used to being beggers. They will feel uncomfortable accepting charity, grieving for dead friends/family, terrified for the future etc. They may be super chatty and grateful one day, and the next they may hide in their room and not want to talk. So be flexible understanding etc.

Vargas · 31/03/2022 23:49

OP, what an amazing and kind thing to do, hope it all works out really well. Sounds like they are lucky to have you in their lives.

Redsquirrel5 · 01/04/2022 00:19

Truly lovely of you and it will help that they are together. My friend is Ukrainian and we have been collecting and sent a load of items, food and clothing into the Ukraine last week. Not much is going to the Ukraine most of it is going to Poland, which is great too but people in Ukraine are very desperate.

I worked with children for over thirty years including bereaved and damaged children. My advice is to have lots of paper and pens so they can draw. They might draw distressing pictures but don’t discourage this as it is a way of getting it out. If they paint they may paint a picture and then paint it all black. It is the action of the painting and drawing that is important not the end product.
Other items to have would be Lego and Brio if possible. Don’t worry if they have toys aimed a bit younger than their ages as children regress when distressed so may feel more comfortable playing with toys they may have played with when younger and safer.

Good luck.

Rogue1001MNer · 01/04/2022 00:29

Here you go, op.

Just @ everyone one this thread

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/4502113-Will-you-be-opening-your-home-up-to-Ukrainian-refugees

Forgottenmypasswordagain · 01/04/2022 02:28

Get familiar food and cooking ingredients.

kateandme · 01/04/2022 03:53

Show them where and how to do even the easiest and basic things in your house.imagine if you'd never lived there,what would u need to no how to do or where things are?so they don't feel embarrassed or unable to keep coming g to u every 5 seconds.

nalabae · 01/04/2022 04:13

You’re amazing

Forgottenmypasswordagain · 01/04/2022 06:24

Perogies, Ukrainian Cabbage rolls, Ukrainian borscht

Original poster
Yoohoo778611 · 01/04/2022 09:08

Thank you for your advice. Will try and get instructions for washer, TV etc printed out in Ukrainian.
I hope Google will help with that. These children are toddlers.
I have stocked up on nappies and pull ups.
My DGC have given their toy prams, dolls and a few other toys which they have grown out of.
DH has put locks on their doors so they hopefully feel as it's their own space.

OP posts: