Have you got someone from Ukraine staying with you.

[Yoohoo778611]

We are waiting for a mother, sister and a child each.
Hopefully it's not too long now, information we have been given it
should be Saturday or Monday.
We have had the council do a home visit and DBS check.
Can you please give me advice on how I can help them settle.
They have a bedroom for each mum with their child. Plus a bathroom between them.
I have stocked up on toiletries, toys, books and some clothes.

The only thing to add is think about a transition period where initially you welcome them as guests and then move towards more of a lodger relationship where you're not doing all the cooking etc (unless you want to!). And openly discuss this and review how it's going regularly with them so you can negotiate any issues quickly and constructively for all of you.

Be mindful that they are in shock and need time to process what's happening

Just be a warm, kind presence without hovering.

You're there when and if they need you.

If I were them I'd probably want to sleep and stay in bed for at least a fortnight to recharge and reflect.

You sound like a lovely person.

They're very lucky to have you in their lives

They will be no expectations just sheer relief they have somewhere safe to stay with their DC

They'll let you know what they need when they're ready

We are just waiting for a Visa for a mother and child, really hoping it's today or over the weekend. I also started this thread awhile back:

thread for those interested in refugee hosting/sponsorship http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/amiibeingunreasonable/4503717-thread-for-those-interested-in-refugee-hosting-sponsorship

The main thing I can think of is make it clear they can help themselves to drinks/food whenever they want. Otherwise they might feel they need to wait for you to ask if they want one each time/have to ask you. Also let them know that tap water is okay to drink from the kitchen tap. If you have things like squash this is quite unique to the UK (as I found out at uni) so you might need to provide instruction on how to dilute it.

Make it clear the ground rules from the start, e.g. please let us know before inviting people round, or you can smoke but only outside sort of thing.

Maybe even a little guide with local places to go and prices. E.g. where the local swimming pool is, how to get there, and costs, etc

And local places of worship, charities, etc

@Yoohoo778611 , can I ask you a question? How ready did you get before Visa approval? We are actually giving over our second reception room, which is large and light and will make a lovely room for a mother and child. I have all the furniture in a box room upstairs but I haven't been shifting large furniture around until I know they are definitely coming! Likewise ordering extra towels and treats for them… I feel like I'll be tempting fate if I do any of those things. I have been deep cleaning the house, washing carpets, doing things that kind of need doing anyway… But I feel like sods law if I start building bed frames and buying things just for them , Something will go wrong. I think I've got to a point where with 24 hours notice I could do the remaining tasks. And do a lot of Amazon next day delivery shopping!

@hassletassle we were told on Monday that they are coming either Saturday or Monday.
I have just received confirmation that they will be here tomorrow afternoon.
Our DS's friends wife is collecting them from the airport. She is Polish and put us in touch
with these ladies. She and I with advice from others in the same situation meets first as
she speaks Polish and hopefully can reassure them. Id have gone as well but there is no
room in the car.
Both DH and I are excited to meet them but very nervous. As they are NOT a circus act I
won't be posting on how or who they are.

I want to again thank everyone for your tips and advice. Things have been suggested that we
hadn't thought of. I have been onto Google and leant a few words (hello, please, thank you)
will try and get others in our heads.

Have namechanged.
I have two ladies staying with me (mum and daughter). They arrived on Tuesday. You may have seen us on the BBC news on Wednesday
I have had minimal contact from my county council. I hope that the room they are already staying in is sufficient!
I have been doing admin stuff for them. Registered with GP, applied for National Insurance number. I have also been trying to arrange bank accounts for them but there don't seem to be consistently applied guidelines for the circumstances so the staff have been giving me different stories
We have been relying on Google Translate for most things. And just pointing. Although they both speak a tiny bit of English - their English is 100% superior to my Ukrainian!

@Yoohoo778611 That is fantastic news that they are coming tomorrow! I hope everything goes well and to update us if you have time!

Can anyone confirm whether you have to upload sponsor ID as part of the application? Or does the request for proof of ID come later? I'm seeing conflicting reports online and I don't know if anyone has tried the Home Office "help" line yet but they aren't very helpful.

I sent my guest a copy of my drivers' license (my passport is being renewed at the moment and has expired anyway) but she said last night she hadn't been asked to upload it or any other ID so submitted the form without it. She ticked the "I don't know my sponsor's passport number" option as it wouldn't let her enter the details of an expired passport.

We don’t yet, but lots of neighbours do ( we are in closer country).
One thing is to try and give them choice still.

The collections are lovely, but it must be difficult when you feel like you have to use the shampoo that irritates you, or underwear that’s uncomfortable ( but are grateful for).

If financially possible, I would give Amazon voucher/ h and m/ local store so they can go and choose some bits they need themselves once settled in.

No advice but

@UkrainianHost - How kind you are. Can I ask, do you need to take time off work to help them settle and if you work, not wfh, would that be a problem?

[quote LizzieMacQueen]@UkrainianHost - How kind you are. Can I ask, do you need to take time off work to help them settle and if you work, not wfh, would that be a problem? [/quote]
I'm a SAHM (14yo DD with autism). My guests have settled in very well. I've told them that my home is now their home and so they must treat it as such. They've got themselves into a routine of making themselves tea! They also asked for the heating to be put on today. I'm glad they feel comfortable enough to ask.

As regards the "official" things (bank accounts etc). It has proved time-consuming and frustrating and I think if had to sort all that out and work at the same time my brain would melt. That said, once all this has been put in place, things will hopefully start to get easier. With very few exceptions, everyone has heard about the Ukraine situation but a lot of organisations don't have the correct (special circumstances) guidelines in place. When I called the Universal Credit helpline the lady admitted they hadn't received any official information. My mum guest wants to work (I have no idea how to go about helping her attain this) and her daughter would like to continue her university studies online.

They haven't been with me for a week yet so it's early days. So far so good

All great advice and I hope they settle in quickly.
In addition to everything you're already doing, I'd leave instructions for local public transport, a visual guide for what shops sell what etc so that they can get about independently as soon as they're ready.

Emergency numbers etc If they're eligible for bus pass etc

Cheats guide to English language and customs (once they've settled in)

I have no idea if this would be needed but perhaps a UK SIM card if they are bringing phones.

Good luck OP. You are very kind.

No. On Woman's Hour the other day a disaster recovery expert said that billeting evacuees/survivors in spare bedrooms is harmful (about 17 mins in)

Woman's Hour

Agree with tin

Give them plenty of time to relax And breathe.

Don't judge them for cleaning or anything Just take care of them let them adjust to the new country and process the extremely trauma.

Go about your business and let's turn comes to you

@WhoppingBigBackside

Can you give more info

What a wonderful thing you are doing. I don't have experience of doing this but I do work with refugees. You've been given some great advice here about giving them space and letting them settle. Is your local council providing wraparound support? From a practical point of view I'd make sure they have a UC claim asap as they can't be backdated. Citizen's Advice can help. I'd also help them register with a GP as soon as possible. Look on the Association of Ukrainians in Great Britain website for info about local groups.

You can listen to the link in my pp. Woman's Hour, two days ago (Wesdnesday) on BBC Radio 4. 10 a.m. She said it about 10:17 hrs
According to Wiki she is the leading DR expert and advises Cobra.

Placemarking!

I'm in a country closer to the Ukraine so there are lots of people kindly hosting refugees. The main issue is helping with paperwork, permits, medical care and finding places for their children in local schools & kindergartens. If you need physical things like clothes, strollers, toys then a quick post on FB will usually get a lot of donations.

The transition seems quite seamless in most cases, however a few cases that cropped up on FB includes:

• Clashing parenting styles. One family hosted a mum whose son is quite loud and allowed to do very different things compared to her own children. Obviously trivial, but there should be realistic rules about parenting and accepting different boundaries.

• Time frame. There were a few FB posts from people who were slightly desperately looking for alternate accommodation since they were only able to host for a max of 3-6 weeks. Unfortunately free or very cheap permanent accommodation in the exact same environment (so kids can attend the same school/nursery) is very difficult to find. So it would be a matter of accepting the guests may be there for quite some time, regardless of what terms were agreed upon.

• Covid is still an issue, maybe less so in the UK where there's no mandatory quarantine. So offering to arrange vaccinations or keeping them up to date with the local covid rules is useful. And if anyone gets ill, offering assistance (possibly childcare) would be vital. They are technically now part of the same household so everyone needs to be on the same page regarding covid measures both in and out of the home.