My ideal funeral.

[ApolloandDaphne]

Ok, I have Covid and although not likely to die soon I have talked through with my DH my ideal funeral.

The full 23 minute of Echoes by Pink Floyd.
Sling me in the burny pit.
Go out to itchyco park by the Small faces.
Retire to the pub for sausage rolls and gin.

I am honoured. Thank you for coming.

What would be you ideal send off!

Cremation.
One of those nice wicker coffins.
Purple and yellow flowers (just one nice bunch on top).
In to - ‘Where the streets have no name by U2’ played really loudly
Not got much further than that.

DH wants Ernie the Milkman and The Laughing Gnome at his.

I looked into donating my body to medical science, it's actually quite a lot of paperwork and it all has to be filled out well in advance, signed and witnessed etc. I was single at the time, wouldn't do that now as it might upset my kids

I told my husband I do not want garish flowers & said I would like my coffin covered in baby's tears ( mind-your-own business ) Soleiriola

Funerals came up in a conversation with some friends and DH proudly said - I know exactly what Basilisk wants - lambs lettuce. It still makes me laugh to think my send off will be me covered in salad to the astonishment of those assembled and DH soberly saying - it is what she wanted.

I do think that giving your family an idea is helpful. When DMIL died she had helpfully written a short note. It made organising a great deal easier. and less stressful so I am with @Fuuuuuckit others on that one. DFIL had a direct funeral but family gathered a few weeks later for a meal and reminiscing and chat. That was nice also. Both their ashes their children ( well adult children ) scattered together in the place they met ( it was in the sea - not a restaurant). I think it is fine to talk about funerals , it's a bit like wills - doesn't mean to say it's going to happen immediately - but people have the gist.

@bloodywhitecat to you Mr Brightside sounds perfect

I would love to be cremated, but hate the morbid ceremony and procession to the flames. Wonder if I could skip straight to the urn and a scattering ceremony?

The simplest and most beautiful ceremony I've attended was a green meadow burial - no religion, no formalities, no brutally tough speeches for family to have to try and keep it together through. We just gathered in nature and spoke about their life. It was wonderful.

I fear I may be lowering the tone a tad here but I'd like to be cubed and put out for the birds. On a really big bird table. To The Man Don't Give A Fuck by Super Furry Animals.

I have waved goodbye to both parents this year so have been thinking a lot about my own funeral. I found the process of organising the ceremonies quite cathartic so hope that my own children might find the same time hen it comes to mine. I'd rather like a mass singalong at mine - perhaps Toto's Africa, or American Pie. Unsure. Working on that. Lots of photos of me looking lovely. A lovely champagne toast at the Wake.
And I'm going for a woodland burial in a willow casket clutching the cremated remains of my first dog. That thought comforts me.

We played Frank Sinatras I did it My Way at Dads cremation. No big readings or religious stuff.

I've told DH I want cremation and a tree planted in the local park. I do not want any readings or poems, I don't want anyone going into debt for a service or for randoms I barely know to show up just for the show.

No one knows but I'm having iris dement after your gone and Annie Lennox into the west and made in heaven by queen if there's time.

@BasiliskStare please, please go with lambs lettuce, this has really tickled me

Everyone sings Yellow Submarine.

Coffin goes into the cremator to Keating's Triumph from Maurice Jarre's score to Dead Poet's Society.

Social gathering at nearby pub or - depending - on a beer bike. Or both. Uma Casa Portuguesa by Amália Rodrigues playing in the background.

I'd want as little fuss as possible and no songs that will ever crop up on the radio/ telly or at parties. I went to a wedding with a band about 2 weeks after my sister's funeral and they played 2 of her funeral songs. It was 8 years ago and I can only just keep the radio on when they're played now.

Other songs she liked had happy memories but the funeral songs remind me of what a horrible day it was.

I've just organised a funeral for my mum, who refused to discuss anything about death, dying, living will, actual will, or funeral plans

Same situation I’ve found myself in less than two months ago. Here one day, gone the next. Tore the house apart to find her Will hoping against hope that she had left me some sort of indication of her wishes. Nope, zilch. It was the most horrendous thing I have ever endured, dealing with all of that completely alone as an only child and my mum being divorced.

Please please leave some sort of note for your family, even if it’s “I’m happy for this or that if you want it, please don’t do x or y”

For my own, cremate me (preferable alkaline hydrolysis if facilities available), inter my ashes somewhere nice and not busy, have a wake if you want one and don’t pick a pub or hotel (not my scene), go on a big bloody holiday with your inheritance. Job done.

@floofycroissant - it tickled me as well - I still giggle to myself at those who choose to turn up at my funeral think I specified salad instead of flowers. But DH was so proud of himself for remembering albeit hamfistedly. I think if I do have a funeral rather than a direct one I will have to make sure that there is at least some lambs lettuce inter alia and I hope it will raise a smile with DH & DS.

DH and I sat down once and made notes on our phones of what to do for the other's funerals should it come to that.
I made sure to be really detailed but not fussy with anything so as to be helpful and not leave him questioning what to do if I kicked the bucket first.
His response to every single question? "Do whatever's cheapest"
He said don't bother with flowers or food or anything really 😂 I explained he may be happy with that but his friends and family will think I'm a shit wife and person if I stick him in a cardboard box and chuck him 6 feet under and then tell them all to bugger off home!

@WhenDovesFly

Have a back up plan because certain illnesses disqualify you from being able to donate your body. Also don't pop your clogs just before Christmas because the medical schools close and they won't accept then either.

I did check all this out ;-

archive.hta.gov.uk/donating-your-body

@notprincehamlet

I fear I may be lowering the tone a tad here but I'd like to be cubed and put out for the birds. On a really big bird table. To The Man Don't Give A Fuck by Super Furry Animals

I admire your 'waste not, want not' philosophy but Sky Burials haven't caught on here yet

I’d like as natural a funeral as possible - eco coffin, small amount of locally grown flowers and a woodland burial. Humanist rather then anything religious. I always joke I’d want Monkey’s gone to Heaven by the Pixies played but I probably won’t out of respect for anyone who might actually be sad I’ve died…

I want to be brought in to my own recorded version of Lukas Graham "Funeral" song.
I also want to say a few words about my life.

Then I want everyone to enjoy lunch & drinks on me!!

No wearing black either.

For a long timeI have said that I hate funerals and I don't intend going to my own, I'd like a direct cremation.

It is my mums funeral tomorrow, my dad understandably wants it to be perfect but it too upset to arrange it, I have taken over the arrangements and it is as beautiful as I can possibly make it for her but it has been very very hard.
It has made me even more certain that I wouldn't want to put my own children through the last few weeks and I'm certain that I want the direct cremation for myself.

I'd have Shine on You Crazy Diamond played at mine.

I've just spent the most random half an hour searching all of the songs you've mentioned! It's made me think I need to decide. So far I've got The Las - There She Goes and The Smiths - There is a Light that Never Goes Out. My OH will be cringing asking for these. I also want to be buried & I need to actually do something about this. I've now got a to do list: make will & decide upon funeral! What a way to start a Monday but I agree it must be so hard for those when family haven't stated what they want.
I'm tempted to go with a bit of salad on the coffin now too 😉

I want to be cremated, packed into a firework and then exploded over a loch. Set to ‘It’s Raining Men’ by the Weather Girls.

My parents, my kids and I are all opting for direct funerals with no service or ashes. We recently had a close family member die and ordered the funeral online. We opted for no ashes and we also said we didn't want any confirmation that the cremation had taken place. It was literally a matter of signing and paying. The forms needed when the death certificate is issued go directly to the funeral people.
We have had plenty of little family get togethers but no memorial or event. We are not shy to talk about death and grieving. I feel it's all healthy and positive. I see no meaning or significance in someone's body once they are dead.

I understand why people have funerals though. Everyone is different.

I quite fancy a natural burial with Vaughan Williams' "The Lark Ascending" being played.

Both me and DH have written into our wills that every piece of transplantable body tissue is taken, skin, bones, tendons etc. all we should be left with is a few eyelashes and toenails.
Both are going to be cremated, I am having a humanist service, he’s going for the full Catholic mass. He is specific about which part of Majorca he wants his ashes sprinkled, I don’t care.
We have an only DD and have tried to make it as easy for her as possible