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Original poster

My ghostee friend is back. Wwyd?

33 replies

Reluctantadult · 27/03/2022 17:35

What do you guys think to this then. I had a 'best friend' about 17yrs ago . She ghosted me once as it's called now, about 10yrs ago. Then came back into my life said she'd been in an abusive relationship. We were close again. I was her bridesmaid. She was mine. Unfortunately her marriage didn't work out and she separated. About a year after she ghosted me again. I was very worried. Eventually I found out from her mum she was OK, she'd moved to London, got a career, got a new fella. I blocked her on everything. She's just randomly messaged me yesterday asking if I'll accept an olive branch. Now I think that sensibly, I should tell her where to go. But emotionally I can't help feeling yey, it's my friend! So wwyd?

OP posts:
Original poster
Reluctantadult · 27/03/2022 17:36

I haven't heard from her in 4.5yrs.

OP posts:
SpongeBobJudgeyPants · 27/03/2022 17:37

Personally, I wouldn't give her a chance to ghost you for a third time. You gave her a second chance.

Partyatnumber10 · 27/03/2022 17:39

I'd accept, become on good terms with her again (because it's nice to keep in touch and know that people are doing well) but I wouldn't go any deeper than acquaintances now. You know she ditched you when something better comes along. Don't develop a deep friendship or confide in her because she'll only hurt you again.

EdithStourton · 27/03/2022 17:39

Oh, tell her to bog off or just ignore.

Being ghosted can be upsetting. I've just had someone send me a friend request on FB after completely ghosting me once, and being completely shite at keeping in touch once she got back into contact. I just can't be bothered because as soon as her life gets busy or stressful or whatever, it will just happen again.

Quitelikeit · 27/03/2022 17:40

I wouldn’t. True friends can dip in and out of each other’s lives without ghosting and blocking. She either thought you were toxic and cut you off or gets so engrossed in her relationships she doesn’t see the need to have friends.

Either way it doesn’t bode well!

KylieCharlene · 27/03/2022 17:41

I'd ignore her.
She doesn't care about your feelings.
She befriends you when she feels like it and drops you when something/someone 'better' comes along.

TheArtfulBlogger · 27/03/2022 17:41

emotionally I can't help feeling yey, it's my friend

She isn't. She is a user. Raise your bar @Reluctantadult, you are worth more than her dregs

Blimecory · 27/03/2022 17:41

I would accept, personally. I wouldn’t see being ghosted like this as a personal affront.

Twiglets1 · 27/03/2022 17:42

Ignore it - shes ghosted you twice!

Original poster
Reluctantadult · 27/03/2022 17:42

@Partyatnumber10

I'd accept, become on good terms with her again (because it's nice to keep in touch and know that people are doing well) but I wouldn't go any deeper than acquaintances now. You know she ditched you when something better comes along. Don't develop a deep friendship or confide in her because she'll only hurt you again.
This is what I was thinking. But then I also think what's the point then..?
OP posts:
Wintersgirl · 27/03/2022 17:43

If that was me for my own sanity I would have to say no, you're her friend when it suits her and then dropped like a hot stone when it's not. It's not fair on you to keep coming in and out of your life like that..

thefirstmrsrochester · 27/03/2022 17:43

I don’t know if I’d have the time or energy (or respect) for an individual like this, unless there is more to it, otherwise you are ousted from her life for a man.

Notanotherwindow · 27/03/2022 17:48

Nah not interested. She doesn't get to pick you up and drop you when she feels like it and leave you worrying about her. Stuff that.

LadyMonicaBaddingham · 27/03/2022 17:51

Ghost her right back. Wooooo 👻

Ohsugarhoneyicetea · 27/03/2022 17:52

If there were no harsh words or issues between you then I don't see why not. People come and go in life for a variety of reasons. I wouldn't hold that against anyone. Its not like we are little kids anymore.

Thewindwhispers · 27/03/2022 17:53

I’d ghost her 😬

She isn’t your friend.

ThreeRingCircus · 27/03/2022 17:56

I don’t know if I’d have the time or energy (or respect) for an individual like this

I agree with this. I think ghosting someone that you've been best friends with and been their bridesmaid is pretty shit behaviour to be honest. I just couldn't have respect for someone that behaved like that....for whatever reason and if I didn't respect them then I couldn't be friends with them.

I wouldn't ghost her back, don't sink to her level. I'd just be polite and wish her all the best but say after being twice ghosted by her you're not interested in rekindling a friendship. Maintain your dignity.

Teaforme123 · 27/03/2022 17:57

I had a 'friend' like this... Only wanted to be my friend until someone better came along. I wouldn't bother with her tbh she is a user and I wouldn't give her a chance to ghost you again.

Habitatty282 · 27/03/2022 17:57

No, you deserve better, don't give her the opportunity to do it again, you're not a toy she can pick up and put don't when she feels like it. As a pp said, if she was having a hard time and needed space she could have had that without ghosting you. I've been ghosted recently and it really hurts especially when you've been nothing but a good friend to someone.

EmmaH2022 · 27/03/2022 18:00

@Quitelikeit

I wouldn’t. True friends can dip in and out of each other’s lives without ghosting and blocking. She either thought you were toxic and cut you off or gets so engrossed in her relationships she doesn’t see the need to have friends.

Either way it doesn’t bode well!

I agree with this.
uncomfortablydumb53 · 27/03/2022 18:01

I wouldn't bother. She's probably single, and could ghost you again when she meets someone
You deserve friends you can rely on

HestersSamplerofCarrots · 27/03/2022 18:24

Life’s too short for this shit

DinaofCloud9 · 27/03/2022 18:28

She's proved she's not a friend so I'd ignore her.

spotcheck · 27/03/2022 18:34

It doesn't have to be all or nothing

You could meet her for coffee, catch up and decide from there.
Some people have troubled inner lives, but people do evolve. Perhaps YOU inadvertently did something which was unpalatable at the time. Or she had a break in mental health, or was grappling with childhood trauma.
People who have trouble maintaining relationships often do because they have unresolved stuff happening. Maybe she's more self aware. Or maybe she's a jerk.
Only you can decide if you want to hear her out or not. Doesn't mean you have to rekindle the friendship

TheRealMrsMac · 27/03/2022 18:38

Am I the only one who thought this was going to be a woo thread? disappointed

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