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What successfully engages your seven year old boy?

57 replies

Fluffruff · 26/03/2022 18:29

I feel like I’m at my wit’s end with my seven year old. He’s a bright boy but never been a player (never got deep into dinosaur play, train tracks, castle and knights, play kitchen etc) just not that kind of kid with the make believe and imaginary world. He finds it really hard to settle down to something especially in the later afternoon. We have quite active mornings on the weekend doing stuff and from 4-6 we’re always at home. From 2-4 ish both children have tablet time/watch stuff on their tablets. It’s after that we’re having problems. My son wanders around aimlessly and ends up bothering /winding up his younger sibling and it ends in screaming and fighting. Everything I direct him to he rejects in favour of wandering around and annoying everybody (for example this afternoon he decided to throw loads of magnatiles at the kitchen window endlessly to ‘see if they would stick to glass’ - he knows they don’t - and then of course gets told off). We have snap circuits, Lego, magnatiles, marble run all the usual stuff.

I was wondering about a longer term project that we could work on each weekend together but also he needs to be able to do himself as we can’t go on like this in a cycle of wandering around and winding up his sibling scream crying and repeat.

OP posts:
Massivecoffeecake · 26/03/2022 18:29

Playmobil? Much better than Lego in my experience.

Fluffruff · 26/03/2022 18:36

He just isn’t able to play in that way and never has done. His younger sibling easily gets deep into imaginary play with little toy animals/play food and so on but he just can’t and that is def part of the problem. He’s jealous in a way.

I was wondering about one of those monthly delivery kits on a subscription (can’t remember what they’re called but there is an American one)

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DogforPM · 26/03/2022 18:39

I could have written your post almost exactly. Minecraft is the only thing that vaguely interests mine. He plays in creative mode so I don’t mind him playing it. He can earn time through the week to play at the weekend only. He can5 play for more than a few minutes with anything else.

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DogforPM · 26/03/2022 18:39

*cannot play for more than a few minutes with anything else. It is very draining!

Fluffruff · 26/03/2022 18:43

It sounds dramatic but honestly it’s ruining our family life. Once they’re in bed my husband I are wracked with guilt about he’s always being told off but on the other hand he’s unbelievably annoying. We love him so much and want to help him. He’s not yet into minecraft and keen to avoid yet more screens.

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InvincibleInvisibility · 26/03/2022 18:44

Thats like my eldest who has ADHD. The saving grace was when he discovered a love of reading. That and having a DB and dad who love wrestling Hmm

TeaOnTheMountain · 26/03/2022 18:46

My sons can both be a bit like this so watching with interest… they’re 7 and 9.

This afternoon 9yo has mostly read his book and 7yo and I have made a mask and played some hockey. He can sometimes be very dominant in his play which I find tedious. E.g. he wants to give me a demonstration of different hockey moves and then I practice them! I find that much harder to engage with than say doing craft or imaginative play!

We’ve had kiwi boxes which is what I think you’re talking about and he loves them but I would need to be involved mostly or at least on hand to help.
I think maybe some kids are just more intense than others 😂

Fluffruff · 26/03/2022 18:47

Forgot to say he’s a great reader and tears through books! I’m trying to encourage him to write one with me as a project, he writes I illustrate kind of thing!

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Glassesmare · 26/03/2022 18:49

My 8 year old DS is the same. I don't think he's ever actually played with a toy! The only things that keep him vaguely interested are board games, kicking a ball all over the house, knocking down figures with a toy bow and arrow and practicing magic tricks. But none of that lasts 2 hours, he'll only do it for about 20 minutes and then spend the rest of the time wandering around saying he's bored and doesn't know what to do. It's exhausting!

Ilovechocolatetoomuch · 26/03/2022 18:49

My oldest is identical to this, he has just been diagnosed with ASC.
Basically if he is not entertained by a screen or days out he seeks negative attention or winds up his brother.
He likes drawing and arts and craft or marble run, anything construction he likes so I give him a list of things he can do if he chooses none he gets give chores or homework if he is being a pain!

justasmalltownmum · 26/03/2022 18:49

Books. If you sign up on the lego website they post the kids a free magazine every few months.

Ilovechocolatetoomuch · 26/03/2022 18:51

Oh yes and he loves reading too so I buy bulk comics etc he likes off eBay.

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 26/03/2022 18:53

My 7yo would sit on a screen all day long if I let him. But he knows not to even try and complain when I ask him to come off to do other things. Stuff that he enjoys aside from screens -

  • scooter, football, basketball at the park
  • board games specifically the orchard games ones, guess who, the horrible history board game
  • hide and seek in the house
  • nerf gun wars in the house
  • chores - bizarrely his fave is cleaning out the dryer lint and water tray
  • Spelling Frame (OK screen as on the laptop but spelling practice with mini games)
  • day trips out to places
GreeboIsMySpiritAnimal · 26/03/2022 18:54

My 7yo boy is like this. Reading these posts, wondering if maybe it's just a bit of an arsehole-y age?

Elisheva · 26/03/2022 18:55

Have you got a garden? We have a trampoline/basketball hoop/football goal. Plus things like juggling and larger construction materials.
Will he do sensory type play? My son can play for hours with water balloons or silly string, shaving foam, play dough etc.

yoshiblue · 26/03/2022 18:56

Minecraft was my first response when seeing the title! I try to not get too hung up on play at the weekend, he does a sports activity each day, then he has plenty of relaxing time - he likes watching Minecraft You Tube and playing on his switch. We also tend to do reading and bursts of homework.

He too as a PP mentioned has just been dignified with ADHD.

trilbydoll · 26/03/2022 18:58

I've got girls but once they've had screen time it's like their brains shut down and they can't think of anything to do. How about 2 hours of reading / creative play / something non screen related earns them the screen time before dinner?

Admittedly this might screw over bedtime!

NewName9273 · 26/03/2022 18:58

@GreeboIsMySpiritAnimal

My 7yo boy is like this. Reading these posts, wondering if maybe it's just a bit of an arsehole-y age?
This made me laugh. I think most ages come with a bit of arseholey-ness.
Onceuponatimethen · 26/03/2022 18:58

This sounds like neurodiversity to me. ASC? Can’t settle to something not on his agenda. Or ADHD? Can’t relax and hyper with a lot of physical energy to burn off. My dc has been dx and has medication - I do wonder if you should look into this.

AllotmentTime · 26/03/2022 18:59

Things mine (6 but very similar) has enjoyed:

Basketball- we have a tiny indoor hoop that clips on to the top of a door
Chess- I know, that sounds pretentious- but he likes the game and he will actually come close to imaginative play by acting out possible moves by himself
Board games, but I’m not really counting that because he can’t play alone
Mario Lego. Requires an iPad (which really f*s me off) but he is restricted to only using it for the Lego app, and he does then engage with the Lego. It’s by far his favourite thing. He is not that fussed about regular Lego but the Mario stuff is just enough of a “screen” that he’s happy and just enough of a “not-screen” thing that DH and I can grit our teeth and allow it.

Hth and following for further inspiration Grin

Onceuponatimethen · 26/03/2022 19:00

To answer your question, Lego 3 in 1 so we can do multiple projects. Play doh (still!), Hama beads, gem/fossil dig kits, toy cars

SevenSistersStar · 26/03/2022 19:01

Your son sounds a bit like mine. He's 7, coming up for 8, and has recently got into board games in a big way. Cluedo and Carcassonne are favourites. Worth thinking about? (NB Like a PP's son he is also diagnosed with ADHD.)

AllotmentTime · 26/03/2022 19:01

Also, it has helped us in the past to be absolutely brutal about enforcing & restricting screen time. If DS thinks there is screen time coming up then he will skulk about wasting time until then. He has to really give up on the idea of getting any screen time before he will reconcile himself to it and actually try to get on board with entertaining himself.

Ragwort · 26/03/2022 19:02

Can't really remember as it was a long time ago but I think we just played endless board games & cards ... or outside cricket, football, rugby etc. My DS was absolutely not into Lego, trains, building, craft etc.

Homework? Chores ? Grin

TooMinty · 26/03/2022 19:03

Maybe switch round and do the playing/activities 2-4pm and screen time 4-6pm? My 7 year old likes playing card games (Uno, Top Trumps). He also likes helping with grown up activities like hanging out laundry.