What successfully engages your seven year old boy?

[Fluffruff]

I feel like I’m at my wit’s end with my seven year old. He’s a bright boy but never been a player (never got deep into dinosaur play, train tracks, castle and knights, play kitchen etc) just not that kind of kid with the make believe and imaginary world. He finds it really hard to settle down to something especially in the later afternoon. We have quite active mornings on the weekend doing stuff and from 4-6 we’re always at home. From 2-4 ish both children have tablet time/watch stuff on their tablets. It’s after that we’re having problems. My son wanders around aimlessly and ends up bothering /winding up his younger sibling and it ends in screaming and fighting. Everything I direct him to he rejects in favour of wandering around and annoying everybody (for example this afternoon he decided to throw loads of magnatiles at the kitchen window endlessly to ‘see if they would stick to glass’ - he knows they don’t - and then of course gets told off). We have snap circuits, Lego, magnatiles, marble run all the usual stuff.

I was wondering about a longer term project that we could work on each weekend together but also he needs to be able to do himself as we can’t go on like this in a cycle of wandering around and winding up his sibling scream crying and repeat.

He sounds so like my DS you can never just have a relaxed day at home as they don’t know how.
My son often forgets what he has so rotating toys and getting them out for him helps also write a list of all the things he can do alone and redirect him to.

Sounds like my son. He also has ADHD. It's bloody exhausting tbh.

OMG. We have just had this all afternoon with our 6 year old (who we also suspect may be neurodiverse). Driving us potty! He did used to play - but he is going through a phase where when he actually has the space (ie toddler sibling is napping), he just sits around/whines/literally gets under my feet, etc. He could have played with anything this afternoon - including on his trampoline, which has just been put back up. But the one thing he half fancied doing was off the menu.

Really interesting to see others flag the link with neurodiversity. I’ve been wondering whether he’s outgrown some of his toys, or similar, and needs help to move on to the next stage of something.

I feel your pain. My oldest was like this - no interest in toys / imaginative play / etc. He loves people and the outdoors. He is 14 now and hasn't changed a bit! Today he was out with one group of friends from 1pm-6pm at the park, then came home long enough to pack and has gone to a sleepover with another group of friends. So what we did with him was...

Get outside. We live in the city but have a massive park next to us and spent most of our weekends there when both DSs were that age. Bug hunts, football, walking and wildlife spotting, playparks, bike rides, walking and talking, treasure hunts (just a list of challenges).

Playdates. Loads of them. Every weekend, get some friends over. Usually an hour or so of gaming then chucked outside into the garden or taken to the park for ice cream. Anything that got him hanging out with other kids was a winner.

Lots of Minecraft. We didn't really restrict gaming time, they are 11 and 14 now and are totally able to self-limit gaming time so frankly I'm glad we didn't spend all the time arguing about it when they were younger.

I would try some constructive screen stuff, so scratch as mentioned above or even touch typing games, maths or word puzzle games, etc. Screens aren't always the enemy!

Almost the same with a restless 7yo here too - so glad to see it’s not just us! Doesn’t really annoy older brother but does gets cross if he won’t join in/play exactly what he wants to do.

The wandering around aimlessly thing drives me mad. Like PP said I sometimes write a list of ideas to do (reminding him of the 100s of toys we have!), especially in the holidays when we aren’t going out for the day.

Things he likes (apart from screen time, which he would do all day if I let him)

• Trampoline - Best thing we’ve ever bought. Is there any way you can squeeze one in OP?
• Listening to songs on Alexa
• Water play E.g. a bucket and squirters to hit a target on the fence, watering the flowers, washing his bike/toys
• Making dens - blankets or a big cardboard box
• Reading - he loves books and we have a weekly subscription to The Phoenix comic which he absolutely loves. We also share a “Readly” subscription which has lots of comics and magazines on an app.
• Board games and jigsaws - we have to do these together though. He has also enjoyed making board games - I draw an outline and he fills in the squares with numbers/special spaces, makes counters etc

Hope you find some ideas that help OP

Will def look into more constructive screen time use. Oddly we haven't been pestered about Minecraft etc/switches. He already has scrabble and word search games on his tablet, he’s a beast at scrabble!

I think from reading all the answers my expectations are too high. I always thought we give them lots of attention but it’s during our mornings out and about and being active. In the late afternoon I’d thought because he had loads of attention from 7am it’d be about time he played by himself but in reality he probably still needs one of us to sit and do a game one to one or something. In contrast his younger sibling goes into their own world of deep play with dollies etc.