Ex has taken my dog

[takenmydog]

Last night we had a huge row. He screamed at my and physically assaulted me for hours. Again for hours this morning. I’m black and blue. My children thankfully were at their dads. He took my phone so I couldn’t call for help. I only got it back after he was done. He smashed the screen. He took my dog. We bought the dog together for us as a family. For me, him and the 2 dcs who live with me. He won’t bring her back unless I agree to get back with him. Thanks obviously can’t do that. We paid half. I’ve stayed home with her for 3 months every day, looking after her. He has done vet appointments and paid for the dogs food. I pay for all bills in my house (probably not relevant). I just want my dog back. My children will be heartbroken. What can I do?

Sadly, I know from experience that if the chip is in his name and he pays for vets bills and half of the cost of her then the best you'll get is shared ownership which sounds like a terrible idea.

You absolutely need to go to the police over the assault but the dog will be a separate issue.

[quote Whatamesssss]@femfemlicious Are the updates not quick enough for you?

Comments and nastiness like yours are the reason that the OP's don't come back.

Why the judgement?[/quote]
Nastiness? I guess anyone calling her out is "nasty". She has young children in her care. Why have her children around a man that keeps beating her up and not report him to the police. How can someone beat you for hours and you cant call the police on them. I know its hard but you would find the strenght somehow?

@femfemlicious At what point did I say I wouldn’t be calling the police? I have done. I also have my dog back. My children are safe, as am I. I was enjoying Mother’s Day with them yesterday. Thankfully my bruises were on my body only, so they don’t need to know what happened. Their dad knows as I told him. I am now looking forward to moving on with my life and I have zero desire to allow him back in to it. He will be too busy dealing with the consequences from this anyway.

@takenmydog kudos to you for finding the strength to deal with this properly. We have a duty to our kids to keep them safe in a stable environment. Im really glad.

Good for you.

Come back and get more moral support, space to vent, whenever you need it!

Well done for reporting it, OP.

@takenmydog good for you, you should be allocated an IDVA who can help you arrange for a non molestation or restraining order, the dog gives him additional motivation (in his mind) to return

Glad to hear you are all safe and have your dog back.
I hope you managed to have a lovely Mother's Day

@takenmydog

I will phone the police now. The dog is at the front of my mind because I want to prevent my children’s heart from breaking. And because he made me feel that I’ve brought it on myself. It’s not the first time of course. But yes, I will report. I am in a daze and couldn’t think straight which is why I posted on here. I didn’t know what to do. Now things are clearer.

This is what abusers do, it’s all about control, it’s all about their evilness. You have done nothing wrong. What he has are marks if you trying to defend himself, you have assault wounds, the police can tell the difference. After you have spoken to the police, and please do NOT, do NOT downplay any of it, speak to Women’s Aid.

It’s distressing, it’s horrible, but as pps have said, a woman dies every week because of her partner’s violence, we don’t want that to be you.

Sorry, typos —- he has marks from you trying to defend yourself.

[quote takenmydog]@femfemlicious At what point did I say I wouldn’t be calling the police? I have done. I also have my dog back. My children are safe, as am I. I was enjoying Mother’s Day with them yesterday. Thankfully my bruises were on my body only, so they don’t need to know what happened. Their dad knows as I told him. I am now looking forward to moving on with my life and I have zero desire to allow him back in to it. He will be too busy dealing with the consequences from this anyway.[/quote]
Sorry, missed a page ( duh, blame my chronic fatigue) Glad you are safe, ok, and have the dog back.

Well done OP, you've done the right thing.

I hope you feel recovered soon, take it easy for a few days, you must be in shock

I'm.so sorry this happened to you. I'm glad you are all safe and you have your dog now. Have you contacted womans aid? They are brilliant and can help you get things put in place to make sure he can't come near you again also please look into counselling, I got this through my work and it helped more than I can say xx

Thank you for the update @takenmydog and I am glad to hear that the police are dealing with him and that you have your dog back. Well done and good luck.

Hopefully your bruises will heal fast but the emotional abuse - making it seem like it is your fault etc - can leave deep scars. Have a read around the Women’s Aid website and the Freedom Programme about the mechanisms and effect of abuse and control so you know how to care for yourself as you recover.

I haven’t contacted women’s aid yet, but I think I will. I haven’t even cried yet, it’s hard to process it all. I have a child free night tonight so I’m just relaxing and trying to start coming to terms with what has happened. Thank you for all the replies and support, it really helped me to do what I needed to do. Now for the next stage.

You’ve got supporters here

You’ve done so well with the steps you’ve taken already.