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Original poster

I cannot cope with the crying anymore

64 replies

DueyCheatemAndHow · 24/03/2022 18:39

2 kids. 3.5 and 1.5. Both are utterly attached to me. They are fine for childcare but the meltdowns they have when DH looks after them is ridiculous. I'm a teacher and I'm doing parents eve from home tonight. I'm trying to do it over hysterical crying as DH battles to get them ready for bed. DS was in such a state, then trying to clean his teeth he whacks his face on the basin. Bedtime was a shouting, chaotic, stressful horrible time.

He has not slept unless I've been in with him for at least some of the time for the past 2 nights.

I'm exhausted. I'm so tired of the tears if I'm not with them all the time.

OP posts:
Mojoj · 25/03/2022 19:39

You need to persevere, horrendous as it is. Otherwise you'll be doing everything. They'll get used to it. Don't give in!!

Terriblecreature · 25/03/2022 19:45

I am in the same boat. Mine have just turned 3 and 1. The 3 year old started nursery at 34 months and since then has been a nightmare. Not sleeping at night, cries when I leave and has become a fussy eater. My 1 year old is actually fine but juggling both while the 3 year old is like that is really tough.
I just keep telling myself it's a phase and will pass. It will be the same for u. Just not fun to hear unfortunately xxxx

madroid · 25/03/2022 19:49

@liveforsummer it was a joke! we used to joke when the DC tantrumed when they were little that they needed sedating.

@DueyCheatemAndHow can you at least get away for a few hours this weekend and have a break? You sound like you're exhausted.

It will get better honestly. Don't take it to heart.

Whether you give in or fight em is your choice - but as a stranger on the internet I'd say your exhaustion should trump your small children's preferences at the moment.

After all it won't be good for them in the long run if you're at the end of your tether.

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Goldbar · 25/03/2022 20:02

You sound at the end of your tether Flowers.

Can you go away for a weekend to recharge and leave your DH in charge? Then maybe you could return the favour for him another time. If you're worried about him coping, maybe hire a babysitter to help for a few hours. It sounds like you need some time just to be you without two small people attached to you.

Herecomesthesun2022 · 25/03/2022 20:07

I feel so sorry for you, it sounds exhausting. But if you’re going to need to be away from the children for bedtime it might be better not to come back after work as has been suggested above. Mine would have gone nuts if I’d appeared then disappeared again. Really unsettling. Sorry if I’ve misunderstood!

liveforsummer · 25/03/2022 20:46

@liveforsummer it was a joke! we used to joke when the DC tantrumed when they were little that they needed sedating.

Which would have worked if you'd referenced a sedative, no idea why people think calpol acts as one. Piroton on the other hand, as long as you don't select non drowsy .....

Ragwort · 25/03/2022 20:52

Just toughen up, good idea to go away for a weekend. Your DC will have to get used to being with their Dad, it must be horrible for him that you are the 'preferred parent'. What would happen if you were rushed into hospital... or worse. Three and a half really is old enough to understand that you are working/busy etc.

ToastedCrumpetwithCheese · 26/03/2022 07:45

Agree a bedtime plan and then stick to it. Personally I'd go out of the house and leave DH with it (we actually went on holiday and my mum stayed, she says our youngest was fine with her, it was because I was in the house, once I wasn't there, he just accepted it).

It is tough though and my son was a bit similar. My husband took over bath and bedtime routine and still does his bedtime now at age 7!

I also found explaining to my 3yo what was going to happen was helpful. So we said I wasn't doing bedtime hand holding from x date, did lots of reminding on the run up, then stopped on the date. She just accepted it (surprisingly).

MrsPelligrinoPetrichor · 26/03/2022 07:51

If this has only been going on for a couple of days it sounds like they're under the weather/ going down with something.

MrsPelligrinoPetrichor · 26/03/2022 07:52

Any chance they're Covid positive?

PermanentTemporary · 26/03/2022 07:59

You're not failing. At all. You have toddlers. You are toddler positive. [Handhold]

TheMoth · 26/03/2022 08:23

Feel your pain. I had years of this. I think it's worse when you work with kids outside the home too, because you're ALWAYS needed and there's nothing left when you come home. I did sometimes just get in my car and go for a drive.

It gets better. Ds barely grunts at me now.
Although yesterday, dh had been home since 12. I got in at 6.

Guess which parent dd came to, at 6.05, to get her scooter out?

ParisNext · 26/03/2022 08:27

They’re probably better if they don’t know you’re there in the house so can be called on. They don’t understand work from home. My teacher friend “leaves” for work and goes secretly upstairs and is locked in the attic on teams calls and it’s dramatically better.

Original poster
DueyCheatemAndHow · 26/03/2022 09:06

Yes that's a good idea! They are fine with DH wfh but not me apparently

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