Worst lies/excuses your kids have made.

[Soubriquet]

So ds reeeally can’t tell a lie. He’s 7 fyi.

Went to go tuck him into bed and discovered he had pen all around his mouth.

His excuse? He tripped over a water bottle and landed on the pen which then drew itself around his mouth

Seriously. Where do they get these things?!

Forgot to add this is all lighthearted

@Soubriquet 🤣🤣🤣 That is hilarious!

He tried bless him

My son swore blind that it wasn’t him who had cut the hair on a knitted football figure that my aunt had made him and which he absolutely loved. Because it was knitted it started to unravel, how did I know it was him, he’s an only child !

Yeah, that's a definite downside to being an only child! No one else to blame! 😁

Could it have been his imaginary friend?

My daughter to this day blames the cat for cutting all her hair off and giving her a mullet cut.

These are great 😄

When my son was 6 ish, the (absolutely lovely) school cook came out to see me at pick up time, as she was worried and wanted to discuss DS2’s food allergies…

‘Er, what food allergies?’

‘He told me he’s allergic to salad and potatoes…’

Did he indeed 😂😂😂

‘He told me he’s allergic to salad and potatoes…

Understandable

I found a piece of wall paper missing from the wall, I grilled my 2 year old about where he had put it in the hope of sticking it back. He blamed everyone, from the dog to the friend who had not visited in months.

Eventually he confessed that he ate it.

@Soubriquet 😂

@TheBigDilemma

I found a piece of wall paper missing from the wall, I grilled my 2 year old about where he had put it in the hope of sticking it back. He blamed everyone, from the dog to the friend who had not visited in months.

Eventually he confessed that he ate it.

When DD was little she painted the telly and insisted it was an accident. She would refuse to accept anything else. I pointed out that she also wrote the short version of her name. That was her proof of being an accident... "that's a H not a C , it WAS an accident!".

I love these! I was baby sitting and the kid wrote their name in pen on the wall whilst I was making tea 🤦‍♀️ they blamed the dog which would have been truly impressive.

When my twins were babies they got into an rubbed all over themselves an entire tub of sudocrem. Apparently the tub exploded. Have you ever tried to get sudocrem off 2 years olds? It's bloody water proof!!

My dd at around 3 hid a pencil and randomly drew little squiggly on my walls …. Looked everywhere but could not find the pencil. I caught her and she looked at me and told me she was asleep so wasn’t her

My 3 yo recently drew on the walls and when asked who had done this responded hopefully with ‘it was you mummy?’
😎 brazen it out is his motto, clearly

My niece scratched her name on a freshly painted windowsill, then claimed it was her little sister - who couldn't write!

The wallpaper opposite our bed had fairly regular repetitive small flowers. One morning when sitting having my coffee I noticed that one seemed odd. On investigation a small figure had been drawn on the wallpaper surrounded by the words 'Mummy drawed this'. After asking my daughter (5) she denied it had been her because 'Look mummy, its your name'.
She had been told off a few days earlier for drawing on another wall but it definitely wasn't her!!! Only her and me in the house.

DD2 was known for bad excuses:

When she was 2, she came downstairs after bedtime to "see urgently what shirt daddy was wearing."
When she was 4yo she wrote her name on the wall. She tried to blame her brother, so I asked why he would write his name on the wall. The next day his name was next to hers. She said "see he did". He was 6 months old.
She also wrote her name on the ceiling of her room after she got a high bed, which apparently wasn't her at all and maybe it was her teddy.
We had (reading in the middle of the night) "needed to see if the story was different at night" and many others.

Very creative excuses. Pity they definitely wouldn’t work

We were on holiday abroad when DD was about 4 or 5. Opened her Trunki to get something and saw about 15 pairs of sunglasses hidden in there. Some of them RayBans . When asked where she'd got them from, she said she bought them in Sainsbury's (in Mexico).

My 3yr old niece drew on the walls. When we asked her if she did this…
“Oh no, it wasn’t me! I’m too little!”

When my 12 yr old son was asked why his planner had not been signed for school, he told his form tutor that his parents had left home forever and he had been left alone for at least the past week to look after his sisters.

Apparently he was so convincing that all teaching staff who he spoke to believed him and called social services immediately before checking with us.

He told them he had arranged to meet us after school in town because he had run out of money for food.

So someone accompanied him to 'meet' us - obviously we weren't there because we were working. I had a call at my school to ask where I was ..... and his excuses started to unravel.

His form tutor then said he was quite impressed by the intricacy of his lies - and would never believe a word he said ever again.

We had to see this form tutor for the next four years. 😬

@Meceme

The wallpaper opposite our bed had fairly regular repetitive small flowers. One morning when sitting having my coffee I noticed that one seemed odd. On investigation a small figure had been drawn on the wallpaper surrounded by the words 'Mummy drawed this'. After asking my daughter (5) she denied it had been her because 'Look mummy, its your name'. She had been told off a few days earlier for drawing on another wall but it definitely wasn't her!!! Only her and me in the house.

I love this one!

@edwinbear

We were on holiday abroad when DD was about 4 or 5. Opened her Trunki to get something and saw about 15 pairs of sunglasses hidden in there. Some of them RayBans . When asked where she'd got them from, she said she bought them in Sainsbury's (in Mexico).

Where has she got them from???