Worst lies/excuses your kids have made.

[Soubriquet]

So ds reeeally can’t tell a lie. He’s 7 fyi.

Went to go tuck him into bed and discovered he had pen all around his mouth.

His excuse? He tripped over a water bottle and landed on the pen which then drew itself around his mouth

Seriously. Where do they get these things?!

What happened to the sunglasses!!!!

Dd1 couldn't have toast at nursery because of her allergies. What allergies? Oh jam made her sneeze apparently.

Dd2 absolutely did not cut a huge chunk out of her hair. It wasn't her despite the obvious chunk and the scissors beside where she was sitting. When my friend who cuts our hair asked her about it she thought hard and decided it must have fallen out in her sleep

My son was born and bred in this country, English is his primary language but he has a French name (and a mother with a crap accent)

When he joined reception, he convinced his teachers he couldn’t understand English despite me telling them a hundred times he was taking the mickey.

So one day the teacher is again telling me, that language would take time to come along when DS ran past on his scooter and yelled Muummm! I was going so fast, tried to do a flip and I crashed!

And it was only then that the teacher finally believed me!

I need to know where the sun glasses came from.

Where they genuine Ray Bans too?

I bet they came from the Duty Free at the airport

I once said I had trapped my hair in the door. I had actually tried to make a side parting by cutting a chunk of hair off 😂

@edwinbear wow need to know where the sunglasses came from!

DD hit her head once on the table when she was 4. When i went to comfort her she said her brother hit her. Her brother was in school at the time. When i told her that she looked at the dog and said: (dogs name) hit me!

My 4 year old pulled my plant apart. I asked who did it. He replied 'the dog'. I said 'why is the leaf in your hand?' He replied 'it teleported'...

@CheekyTanuki

DD hit her head once on the table when she was 4. When i went to comfort her she said her brother hit her. Her brother was in school at the time. When i told her that she looked at the dog and said: (dogs name) hit me!

That reminds me of when I was little.

I was with dm, and there was this tremendous wail from dbro.
Dm: "What's wrong?"
Dbro: "Margaret hit me!"
Dm: "Margaret's here."
Dbro: "Other sister hit me."
Dm: "She's here too"....
Dbro: (Appears at door in huff) "Wy do you never believe me...."

When getting ready to go to my mums, DD 2.5 was very excited. So much so, that she tripped and bumped her head on the door frame, que tears and a lovely bruise.

We picked DP up from work on the way to my mums.

When we arrive, my mum sees the bruise, DP is bringing bits in from the car.

My mum asked DD 'ohhh my darling, how did you get your bruise?'

Without missing a beat, DD says 'daddy hit me!' Just as partner walks in the door. He was mortified, and whatever he said made the situation worse.

I said to DD ' that's not right, daddy didn't hit you, you tripped and hit your head on the door frame. I was standing next to you when you did it' she was still adamant that it was daddy and he was petrified for weeks that she was going to tell nursery!

Dd upgraded Dh from a bus passenger to a bus driver to her pre school teachers. Bizarrely they took her at her word and I had some confusing cross purpose conversations about which bus route Dh is on 😁.

Dd drew on the wall and signed the materpiece with her older brother's name in anticipation of my asking her about it. She of course blamed her brother but couldn't understand why I didn't believe the evidence. I said it was unlikely that a 19yo would draw on the wall and sign his name

When ds1 was about five and ds2 was two.

Me: - Why is ds2 crying?
Ds1: - He hitted his head.
Me: - On what?
Ds1: - My hand.

Yeah....

I’ve heard that excuse many times

Dd, why is ds crying?
He accidentally ran into my hand