Is it important to have someone to tell the boring bits of life to? The daily stuff?

[Flamingoose]

I do have friends and we catch up on the phone once in a while. And I see my colleagues every day and we sometimes chat about life. But there isn't anyone who is going to ask me how dd's swimming comp went today. Or if I managed to get ds a lift to early training. Or whether next door have decided to go ahead with the extension. You know, just the really boring every day stuff.

When my granny was alive we would check in with each other a few times a week and she knew the boring bits. We might not speak for a couple of days, or we might speak 3 times in a morning. I miss her terribly, obviously, but I also really miss having a person to just natter about daily life. Someone who has an opinion about whether my youngest should be allowed to get her ears pierced.

Do you have that person?

@implantreplace we've met a couple of times but she's in a very bad place mentally and has shut off. It took ages for her to want to meet up. She's made it clear she doesn't feel like talking at the moment. I hope I get her back !!

[quote lollipoprainbow]@implantreplace we've met a couple of times but she's in a very bad place mentally and has shut off. It took ages for her to want to meet up. She's made it clear she doesn't feel like talking at the moment. I hope I get her back !! [/quote]
In that case
What about sending her regular cards? Funny / quirky ones, and you don’t write long reams. Just hi, saw this and thought of you / here for you / and a bit of news your end… end of thing.

A friend did that to me during lockdown when I was really struggling with my son and home schooling. I came across them all when I was sorting a drawer and I was overwhelmed with love for her!

@implantreplace that's a good idea, she's such a lovely person she always listened to my problems and me hers, I miss her.

I don't know if it's important but it's nice to share those little things with someone. As a widow I've lost that person, 'someone to do nothing with' and that'll never get better as I've no intention to remarry. There's a void but one learns to live with it.

@EmmaH2022 Thank you! It means a lot that you understand.

For me, the thing that was special about my lost friendship is that we understood that the mundane details are trivial, yes, but also profound. A small conversation, a moment of understanding, a tiny improvement- these things are glimpses of what gives life meaning. Only honest, long-lasting, sensitive, and perceptive friendships can create the possibility for that kind of mutual recognition of the significance of the insignificant.

If I didn't have DP I'd have no one else to do this with.

It's one of the things that makes me wary of leaving him.

[quote lollipoprainbow]@implantreplace that's a good idea, she's such a lovely person she always listened to my problems and me hers, I miss her. [/quote]
This is a friendship worth saving.
Good luck

Our conversations ranged from what we’d had for lunch to world events and everything in between. I was able to tell her the little mundane bits of information about me and my life and she did the same, though I never found listening to her mundane
and
I had a wonderful colleague she shared the same office as me and we were so similar, we talked about everything

People who (like me) love to chat, and find they have some time each week to do so, but possibly don't have anybody who they can chat to, can volunteer as a befriender.
Age UK
MHA
I'm sure there are lots of others.
A really flexible and easy way to volunteer, that doesn't even feel like work. People usually say they get as much out of it as the person they are supposed to be helping.

I’m so sorry for the loss of your grandma op.
It’s not a need that I have generally, but when my kids were small I remember thinking how lovely it was that she was as interested in my kids development as me, so I can understand.
Mind you I talk to myself so maybe that’s why I don’t need it😁. Was caught by a neighbour in the garden . He gallantly ignored me.

I had my lovely neighbour, she was younger than my Mum but kind of like an extra auntie for me. She was such a dear lady who really listened when I talked about the children, no one outside the immediate family is usually interested in someone else's children but she was (or else she very kindly pretended to be). She died very suddenly a few years ago and I really miss her

I have DH for this but it’s a bit too much for one person and we also need to talk about our DD’s additional needs regularly so we don’t have much time for talking about mundane stuff. I have 2 friends but we meet very occasionally.
I never had this with my Nan and don’t have this with my Mum. She actually talks like this herself when I’m phoning (about mundane stuff) but doesn’t like listening me, she’s not interested. My sister is the same. I’m so used to it that by now can’t talk about small stuff with other people. Also my everyday life evolves around DD’s additional needs so it’s not very exciting.

I don't really, but thats because I find it quite boring myself talking about the mundanities of life...I guess the only person I really did this with my late Dgrandad. He loved to chat and was the only person in my family who would chat about things like work, my house...in particular he always asked how my car was running! He was happy whenever I got a new car, that seemed to comfort him!!! Sweet really.