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Original poster

Dummy - how on earth to remove it from my stubborn child..?

48 replies

CassandrasCastle · 23/03/2022 10:21

My DD is nearly 2, and really relies on her dummy for sleep - both naps and nighttime. Now, her sleep is pretty amazing tbh - nothing to do with me, just luck and the bloody dummy I think? She sleeps from 7pm - 8am; occasionally wakes in the night if she loses her dummy, which is attached to a comforter thing, but usually sleeps through... However I am concerned at how she seems to have it in her mouth and sucking away for most of the night, what can that be doing to her teeth?? argh Sad

DP is very keen for it to be gone, which I understand, but I can't really see how I can take it away at the moment as she is so reliant, and also wouldn't really understand about dummy fairy etc. at the moment. She literally won't sleep without it, just screams. Any tips for removing dummies from slightly younger kids like this? Should I just calm right down?

OP posts:
PattyMelt · 23/03/2022 10:26

Ds had his at this age too, I had him keep it under his pillow for bedtime use only after he turned two.
I noticed he gradually used it less and less, and it ended up in his sock drawer. The more you push her to give it up the tighter she'll hang onto it.

Original poster
CassandrasCastle · 23/03/2022 10:32

Thanks @PattyMelt

She just doesn't really understand reasoning - well, obviously, she's only 23 months old! But all advice seems to be along the lines of talking about dummy fairies, giving the dummy away with the child's input... I just don't think she'd get it

You're right, I guess I should not make a big issue out of it for her at the moment; the more I stress the worse it will get as well (have had this situation with her eating, and after backing right off and never forcing her it has got much better! Hmmm)

OP posts:
BootsScootsAndToots · 23/03/2022 10:36

Dd2 was nearly 5 when she gave it up.

I said, you cant go to big school if you have a dummy and she gave it to me that night and we've not had a problem since.

I'd not force it tbh.

Dd2 only had it for sleeping from about the age of 2 though.

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Sunnysideup24 · 23/03/2022 10:39

We had this with our daughter, I cut a small hole in the end so it would no longer “suck” (no loose parts and during the day so I could be with her) and it made it more like a straw so not as comforting. She just thought it was broken and got over it pretty quickly.

MuchTooTired · 23/03/2022 10:40

My DS swapped his for a tractor cuddly toy when he was 2. I prepared him for it for about a week in advance, bigged up the you’re a big boy now thing and built the excitement for the toy, then binned all the dummies on bin day so there was no going back for either of us. It was rough for the first couple of nights (he took to sucking the cuddly toy initially) but soon settled to no dummy and it was done.

Good luck!

Ducksurprise · 23/03/2022 10:40

She is tiny, I also don't buy into this teeth angst. Yes don't use it through the day (because it does affect speech if talking whilst using it) but about 75% of all the teens I know have braces. Out of mine I've had thumb suckers, dummy users and nothing. All bar one of the thumb suckers has had braces.

The development from now till school is massive, a child that sleeps well gains other benefits that negate any dummy damage.

Skinnymimi · 23/03/2022 10:41

Hi Op. we just did cold turkey at the same age. Ds screeeaaaamed the house down the first night. Forgot about it the next day. I thought it would have been impossible!

RandomQuest · 23/03/2022 10:41

I’m struggling to see the issue tbh. She only has it for sleep and sleeps fantastically. Don’t rock the boat especially when she’s gets so distressed without it and clearly wouldn’t understand why her comfort has been removed. Things like dummy fairy, giving it to a younger baby in the family etc. do work, but only for a slightly older child who can understand. Don’t make it a big deal and revisit in 6 months would be my advice. As long as you are properly strict about it being only for sleep then 6 months or so more really won’t be causing any big problems.

StopThatClock · 23/03/2022 10:42

I was told to remove it once she fallen asleep (thumb, not dummy in our case) and eventually she would take her hand away from her mouth once she was asleep.

FrangipaniBlue · 23/03/2022 11:51

DS only used to have his dummy for sleep, we noticed after he turned 2 he gradually stopped waking/looking for it when it fell out. Eventually he had it to fall asleep and after a while we just didn't give him it.

No big announcement or fuss or drama, we just stopped mentioning it!

BertieBotts · 23/03/2022 11:58

Yep I agree, I don't get the teeth thing.

Also a friend's dentist reportedly said it's way easier to fix crooked teeth than it is to fix emotional issues or sleep related issues. Let them have the dummy.

OnTheBenchOfDoom · 23/03/2022 11:59

Ds2 had a dummy on the advice of a paediatrician as he had severe reflux. He still had the dummy in his mouth for lots of the day time as well as night time. When he started nursery at 3 he didn't have the dummy then so we only let him have it at night which is when his reflux was worse as he was horizontal rather than upright.

Why are you so keen to remove the dummy? She is 2, sleeps well and doesn't use it in the day. Ds2 is now 16 years old, no issues with his teeth but still refluxes. And he doesn't need a dummy now Grin

NuffSaidSam · 23/03/2022 12:06

Just leave it. There's no need to take it away at this point.

If it's a real worry then you could try taking it out once she's asleep and see how that goes, but I really wouldn't upset her sleep for the sake of taking a dummy from essentially a baby.

Lazypuppy · 23/03/2022 12:09

We did it about 2.5 once dd could understand dummy fairies, had 2 rpugh nights then no problems. I would wait a little bit longer especially as sleep is so good

Dartmoorcheffy · 23/03/2022 12:11

She's still so little. I would leave it for now. My mum's trick was the Xmas before I was 3 to tell me that I needed to leave mine under the tree and father Christmas would swap it for lots of nice presents.. that worked I'm told.

Arucanafeather · 23/03/2022 12:16

Personally I feel if you give your cubicle something for comfort which they then take great comfort in then it is a bit rubbish and sad to take that away from them before they’re ready. With ours we kept sunny for naps and bedtime and in the buggy which limited it but had it constantly available if they wanted it. When they were somewhere around 3 and could understand, we bought them a toy they loved and said they could get it when they collected all their dummies up and put them in the bin never to be used again. Worked a treat - they didn’t feel pressured by us and all chose the toy within a couple of weeks of getting the toy. Life was more chaotic and the house less organised when it was our youngest turn and so we found dummies in her toy kitchen etc for weeks afterwards - it was agreed 3 sucks on the dummy and then into the bin.

ilovetomatoes · 23/03/2022 12:18

Leave it for now and when they turn 3 use the dummy fairy. My daughter is still proud she gave all her dummies to the fairy who would give them to babies who need them.

RuthW · 23/03/2022 12:21

Dd had hers at night only until she was 4. It lived where she couldn't get it during the day. The da before her 4th birthday she woke up in the night, threw it on the floor and said I don't need this any more.

Let the child decide. At two and for sleeps only, it's not worth worrying about.

MaChienEstUnDick · 23/03/2022 12:22

To do it gently, I think you have to wait until they're old enough to understand. Mine was nearly 4 I think (but has ASD).

Top tip, I took him to the toy shop for something he REALLY wanted and binned the dummies at the toy shop, in the outside bin. If I'd binned them at home I think I would have cracked... even so, it only took one night of him sleeping with a Fireman Sam firetruck under his actual pillow for it to be ok.

N4ish · 23/03/2022 12:23

I'd wait until she's 3 when she'll be better able to understand what's happening, then you can talk about rewards & dummy fairies and read some useful books after giving up.

myceliumama · 23/03/2022 12:27

Paint the treat with that treatment to stop biting your nails. Or what I did was cut the teat down 1mm a day until there was just the handle. My son was a NIGHTMARE to get rid of his dummy and it had to be done as the dentist was horrified that his teeth were so affected.

Boxowine · 23/03/2022 12:38

She’s still just a baby. Maybe let it alone until about age three.

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 23/03/2022 12:43

For me I didn't want to take it away too soon that dc would revert to thumb sucking, because that's even harder to stop.

As long as she only has it for sleeps, not when awake, it's fine!

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 23/03/2022 12:44

@myceliumama

Paint the treat with that treatment to stop biting your nails. Or what I did was cut the teat down 1mm a day until there was just the handle. My son was a NIGHTMARE to get rid of his dummy and it had to be done as the dentist was horrified that his teeth were so affected.
How old was your son?
MrsArchchancellorRidcully · 23/03/2022 12:48

DS has his dummy until he was 5. He needed it and he was a fab sleeper and that was more important to me than a few crooked teeth. Over the years he naturally restricted it to bedtime only and only used it in the daytime if he really needed it. I was chilled and didn't understand the angst of other parents going cold turkey at 18m etc. mind you, I remember having a comforter for several years as a child so I remember how much I needed it.
He once walked up the path to nursery school with his dummy in. We all didn't notice until I did and hissed 'DS dummy!!!!' And he giggled and took it out and never did that again.
I honestly can't remember the night he gave it up. He just did one night by himself.

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