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Original poster

Dummy - how on earth to remove it from my stubborn child..?

48 replies

CassandrasCastle · 23/03/2022 10:21

My DD is nearly 2, and really relies on her dummy for sleep - both naps and nighttime. Now, her sleep is pretty amazing tbh - nothing to do with me, just luck and the bloody dummy I think? She sleeps from 7pm - 8am; occasionally wakes in the night if she loses her dummy, which is attached to a comforter thing, but usually sleeps through... However I am concerned at how she seems to have it in her mouth and sucking away for most of the night, what can that be doing to her teeth?? argh

DP is very keen for it to be gone, which I understand, but I can't really see how I can take it away at the moment as she is so reliant, and also wouldn't really understand about dummy fairy etc. at the moment. She literally won't sleep without it, just screams. Any tips for removing dummies from slightly younger kids like this? Should I just calm right down?

OP posts:

FooFighter99 · 23/03/2022 12:57

Wait till she's a bit older, with DD she was about 3ish and it was affecting her teeth so we did the whole "leave it for Father Christmas to take to a baby who doesn't have a dummy" and it worked - she did get upset a few times as she missed her dummy, but she soon got over it.

And her teeth went back to normal after a few months also

Original poster

CassandrasCastle · 23/03/2022 14:39

Thanks all, really useful advice here. She woke up a few times last night actually, looking for the dummy (we'd forgotten to pick up her comforter with dummy attached from nursery) and I then couldn't sleep most of the night...I think I was just lying awake getting myself into a state about her never giving it up, her teeth being ruined etc... my brain tends to spiral like that when I'm awake in the night!

I feel a bit more calm/sensible today, and think I'll definitely leave it for a bit, maybe 6 months as someone said.

I had a dummy until 3ish, and also needed braces - I thought there was a quite a direct link between dummy use and teeth perhaps going crooked? (I had the classic buck teeth )

OP posts:

confettisprinkles · 23/03/2022 14:55

DD gave her dummy to the dummy fairy at 18 months and definitely understood, it's surprising what they understand at such a young age. I built up to it over a couple of days, we made a fairy garden outside and talked about giving the fairies her dummies to take to a baby who needs it. One morning I asked her if she'd like to give them to the fairies now and surprisingly she agreed, I swapped them with some colouring books and packet of chocolate buttons so when we went back out she got a surprise that the fairies had left a treat to say Thankyou. She never asked for it again!

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StrawberrySanta · 23/03/2022 15:00

My son at 2.5 just didn't ask for it one night for bed. So I didn't offer, and off he went to sleep. I couldn't believe it. The following night he did ask for it, I said I can't find it. And that was that! I realise how incredibly lucky we were for it to be that easy, but that one night of him forgetting and he never used it again. Give it some more time and you never know she might just manage without it sometime on her own

mistermagpie · 23/03/2022 15:08

The teeth thing can be an issue. Both my eldest son children had a dummy until they were nearly three, the dentist said with the oldest you would never know he had one at all, but the younger one had quite 'curved' teeth and his fangs (don't know the proper word but you get the idea) we're really pronounced - these are the obvious signs to look for.

The good news is the dentist told me if I got rid of it before he turned three the teeth would return to normal, it took a couple of months but he is nearly 5 now and his teeth are perfectly straight.

With both boys we just did cold turkey. None of this 'dummy fairy' business, I can't be bothered with all that and to be honest they get enough of that with Santa and the tooth fairy! We just said dummies were for babies and they had to go. Both had had them attached to a comforter like yours and they obviously got to keep that. Eldest was fine, he didn't even seem bothered. The younger one basically stopped sleeping through for a while but he was never a good sleeper.

My youngest child is 2 and it's going to be tough to get the dummy off her I think... she's more attached to it than the other two were but I've also let her have it more because she was a lockdown baby and is a bit spoiled! Let me know how you get on!

Ducksurprise · 23/03/2022 15:36

@BertieBotts

Yep I agree, I don't get the teeth thing.

Also a friend's dentist reportedly said it's way easier to fix crooked teeth than it is to fix emotional issues or sleep related issues. Let them have the dummy.

I agree with this. Also it is baby teeth, they fall out .

PattyMelt · 23/03/2022 16:28

My thumb sucker needed braces, my dummy sucker never did, he has lovely teeth with room for his wisdom teeth even.

Whatsinaname4 · 23/03/2022 16:33

Cold Turkey! If you have a dog pretend to throw dummy out the door to dog and say dog ate it. Worked for me. Child was v cross and upset for a day or two and kept saying bold dog but dummy was gone and that was it.

Ducksurprise · 23/03/2022 17:06

I've been reading up on this, the British Orthodontic Society says if you stop before 7 teeth usually naturally realign themselves one in every 8 has a prolonged sucking habit (between ages 7-11) so I think at under 2 you are fine.

BertieBotts · 23/03/2022 17:06

I think the teeth thing is genetic, the thing is the majority of children have dummies or suck a thumb etc so it's really easy to pin crooked teeth on that when they might have happened anyway.

Feeellostindirection · 23/03/2022 17:10

I wouldn't bother just yet personally. Have 3 DC who are long past the dummy stage, was told dummies would affect speech/teeth etc. They all gave them up with minimal persuasion when they started nursery at age 3. All have lovely straight teeth and speak well. If it gives your dc comfort and they enjoy it why take it away before necessary.

notangelinajolie · 23/03/2022 17:19

Mine gave hers up just after her 2nd birthday when her baby sister was born. I think it dawned on her that dummies were for babies. My youngest held on to hers a bit longer but once she started nursery school it was soon redundant.
I wouldn't worry too much.

ldontWanna · 23/03/2022 17:29

We took DD's away when she was 3. More able to understand about the fairy, and also she became less reliant on it anyways. So if it fell out during the night she wouldn't wake up and look for it or anything. She was very angry with the fairy for the whole day,but then fell asleep quite easily at bedtime and that was that.

Cotswoldmama · 23/03/2022 17:31

My son was nearly 4 when we got rid of the dummy for naps and sleeping. There was no way I was going to risk changing his amazing sleep patterns! He was old enough then to understand taking it away. We collected them all up wrapped them up and put them under the Christmas tree for father Christmas to give to the newborn babies. Then father Christmas left him a special toy from the babies. He only asked once about his dummy and we reminded him that the babies had them. His teeth are fine.

Kapalika · 23/03/2022 17:35

I got rid of them later. However I cut it half way off and it worked. Few dodgy nights but nothing terrible

SpringLobelia · 23/03/2022 17:35

My older one gave up on his 5th birthday. he is developmentally delayed and it just had to happen when he was able to understand we would be taking it. We said that on his 5th birthday he was too old and so we would take it. We talked about it calmly for several weeks beforehand. I have no issues at all with it being so 'late'. We had loads and loads of 'battles' including still being in nappies during the day at 5, so frankly I was just willing to limit the stress on all of us.

second one was never interested in a dummy so I think it just sort of got neglected.

SpringLobelia · 23/03/2022 17:37

Oh and yes- DC1 has pretty perfect teeth. (Aside from the issues we have with flossing now aged 12. )

SeasonFinale · 23/03/2022 17:40

I would wait. Ours gave their dummies to Samta for the babies when they hung up their stockings just after turning 3. They never asked for them again.

FourLittleStars · 23/03/2022 17:56

We went cold turkey when dS was 2.5. he had a dentist check up and the first thing he said when investigating was "the dummy is affecting his palette and pulling his front teeth forward".

We'd never seen that dentist before, there was no dummy in sight and we'd never mentioned it at his previous check ups for it to be noted anywhere. He was very attached to it and I'd had no intention of taking it away before 3.

It was a couple of bad nights, the first being awful. The dummy fairy swapped them for a new cup and some little b&m toys I think. After a couple of days it was forgotten completely.

suburbanwinter · 23/03/2022 18:00

DD was 2 and pretty attached to it. I cut a small hole in it and she didn't like it, said it was 'yuk' and put it in the bin. That was it really
She remembered a couple of times after that but I reminded her it was yuk and she put it in the bin and she was fine.

Waxonwaxoff0 · 23/03/2022 18:02

I just went cold turkey and dealt with the tantrums. DS was 2 and a half when we got rid though so a bit older than your DD.

fredstick · 23/03/2022 21:57

Do it in your own time, you'll eventually work it out between you both when the time is right. All mine loved a dummy but one was obsessed, like baby crack sucking on it with a spare in each hand !

I knew I needed to intervene so snipped the end in the middle with a pair of scissors to reduce the satisfying suction. Instantly changed the sensation and was gone by that night.
Needed a new resettling technique so lots of cuddles at night and was fine, sip of water etc., treat for being brave it was fine!
Good luck

user1471538283 · 23/03/2022 22:05

I think she is still a baby so let her have it. A little bit of comfort.

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