If Mother’s Day means a lot to you and you’re expecting a crap partner to step up..

[ConfusedByDesign]

Please organise something yourself.
It’s so sad reading all the disappointed and sad messages on Sunday
I’ve been in this situation and used to rope my Dcs in with making a ‘Mother’s Day’ cake or going for a ‘Mother’s Day’ outing just so they knew they were taking part and putting some importance on the day.
I Hope everyone has a lovely day.

I totally agree. Book the restaurant you want to go to for lunch and announce that is where you are going for Mother's Day lunch at x time! Won't it be great.

Yep

Both my DC are teenagers now (eldest is now 18) and last year DH (their stepdad) didn't think to plan anything because he thought they would remember. They didn't.

I don't know if any of them have planned anything this year but if they forget again I have plans to go out by myself and find somewhere for a meal and a few drinks in peace and quiet After I've popped over to see my mum with a nice card and some flowers of course.

agree 100%

also ltb

find somewhere for a meal and a few drinks in peace and quiet

On Mother’s Day? This and Valentine’s Day are the most booked meals of the year. You might struggle. Maybe a nice takeaway for yourself as a back up plan?

@SpiderVersed

find somewhere for a meal and a few drinks in peace and quiet

On Mother’s Day? This and Valentine’s Day are the most booked meals of the year. You might struggle. Maybe a nice takeaway for yourself as a back up plan?

There are plenty of places here I can go to that always have loads of room. We've never even had an issue for a last minute Valentines meal, you just need to avoid the busiest meal times and it's fine.

The weather should be nice so even a little picnic with some treat food will be better than feeling low at home.
Or a special breakfast, a take away. Take your dc to buy a bunch flowers because it’s Mother’s Day. This way you don’t rely on a crap partner to teach your dc that to do something special for someone is a nice thing to do and they don’t grow up thinking that’s normal.

Don’t expect your usually crap partner to suddenly do something for you and then be all sad that he hasn’t - he’s crap. Dump him

I’m going to sound horrible but I don’t understand why people get upset about this day, I am a single mum so I don’t get anything. I really don’t understand why people get so upset about it.

I think people mostly get upset because it’s a reminder of their rubbish relationship when their partner predictably does nothing again

But it’s mother days not partner/wife day, take your kids to the shops and let them buy you something if it upsets you so much.

I suppose if your kids are too young to do anything then your partner should be helping them to do it if it matters to you

Mothers day is the same as dhs birthday this year. We've moved it to the following Sunday so I can be spoiled and dd will have money to spoil me with. I've also told her what I'd like as she's rubbish and skint. (solitary eggcup- I prefer practical gifts and come from a long line of tight...er...careful relatives)😁
Works well for us.

@Shoxfordian

I think people mostly get upset because it’s a reminder of their rubbish relationship when their partner predictably does nothing again

This is true. It’s often a reflection of the hurt that yet again, they’ve had no thought, consideration or appreciation shown to them whilst on social media, everyone else appears to have breakfasts, flowers and gifts shown in smiling pictures. Take control and organise your own lovely day with your dcs.

Or take control and ditch the rubbish partner...

"But it’s mother days not partner/wife day, take your kids to the shops and let them buy you something if it upsets you so much."

This doesn't capture the cultural significance of the occasion, though, does it? By your logic, the only person who should celebrate your birthday is the person who gave birth to you. It's a day to celebrate and appreciate mothers in general, not just yours in particular. Shouldn't a father appreciate the mother of his child/children?

@Thenose

"But it’s mother days not partner/wife day, take your kids to the shops and let them buy you something if it upsets you so much."

This doesn't capture the cultural significance of the occasion, though, does it? By your logic, the only person who should celebrate your birthday is the person who gave birth to you. It's a day to celebrate and appreciate mothers in general, not just yours in particular. Shouldn't a father appreciate the mother of his child/children?

No it doesn’t, birthdays aren’t only celebrated by parents lots of people give children presents on their birthday, friends family etc Mother’s Day is to celebrate being a mother so you only by your mum a present, you don’t buy every mum you know a present. your partner is not your mum. Like I said as a single parent who doesn’t get anything anyway I don’t understand why people get so upset just take the kids shopping and let them choose you something if it upsets you so much.

"Mother’s Day is to celebrate being a mother, so you only buy your mum a present". I accept that this is your experience, but it isn't true for most people.

When one of my good friends became single, I took care of her children for a day the week before, made mothers' day cards and crafts, and took them to choose a little box of chocolates. I did the same with my stepson when he was little. When my husband wasn't around one year, our nanny did similar for me. I wish the mothers I speak to around this time a "happy mother's day." I even have several single parent friends who completely go for it and exchange bouquets and chocolates (I'd be up for this If I was single or had a rubbish partner).

It's a day to appreciate mothers. Just as we don't celebrate every person's birthday, we don't celebrate every single mother. Instead, as with birthdays, we celebrate those mothers closest to us or with whom we have an agreement to do so. The closest mother to many men is the mother of their child/children, not their own mother. There's a strong social expectation, in the UK at least, for fathers to make an effort to show their appreciation, often by 'helping' their children to focus on their mum.

When they can, but choose not to, it's completely shit for their partners, and I don't need to be one of them to appreciate that.

Stay off social media. Its 90% b*llocks anyway.
Just because someone is being showered with gifts and meals etc doesn't mean there life is fantastic. Often its the reverse.
Why not just mention to your children?? If they're little then maybe they won't get it.. but older will. Do something with them... be thankful for your children and what they bring. Its what I'm going to do as hate all the forced 'days'.

No I know single mums who take their kids to the shops and let them choose something for them even little kids can do that. Not something I would do but people do, or let them make cards etc, can’t imagine demanding someone buys me presents, that’s my opinion you can have yours I’m entitled to mine.

@AHungryCaterpillar you do realise that not everyone has to feel like you do, whether you “get it” or not, right.

You don’t see Mother’s Day as a big deal, others do.

I agree. When mine were little and my ex was rubbish /after we split I would get the children to pick a day out to take me on and get them to help me bake a cake.