What chores does your 15 Yr old do? Argument with my son

[Olliphant]

Hello, I am wondering what your 15 Yr old does about the house? Mine does the dish washer everyday and makes us all a cup of tea after dinner. He told me I didn't do the washing often enough today, and it made me so angry! He was telling me this in his clean school clothes, which I washed.....but he had found his gym kit unwashed so was annoyed at me. I told him that he can be responsible for doing his own washing from now on. I also think he should make his own breakfast....also I make his packed lunch every day. .....what do you guys do with your kids?

My teen does the same as yours, dishwasher and the odd cuppa. I think you're overblowing a wee argument tbh. Let him know that he's being a cheeky bastard and to knock it off. End of story.

At that age dishwasher and own breakfast for sure. Mone had school dinners so not a consideration fortunately. Also had to tidy own room (although I would generally then clean it ). He did his own sports gear washing and also his bedding but general clothes went in with ours.

He also collected the bins from round the house and put the bins out every week too (and still does when back from uni without prompting).

I have two teenage boys. After tea one washes up, the other does brews. Washing up includes putting everything on the sides away and wiping the sides down.

They each bring their laundry down and the oldest takes care of his own. The 15 year old does his if there’s something he wants quicker than the laundry cycle but he’s expected to find other things from the basket to make up a load.

He’s been making his own breakfast since he was 4 😂 He does his own lunch too.

Other jobs as and when asked, but tend to boost pocket money - bathroom, bins, hoovering etc.

YANBU

What is he having for breakfast that requires you making it? My DS is 13. He's made his own breakfast for years and occasionally cooks breakfast for everyone at the weekend.

Chorewise, he is responsible for keeping his room tidy (hoover, dust, etc), wash or dry up after dinner each evening. Clean up after the dogs in the garden on a Sunday and then we have a 3 week rotation for a Saturday morning.

1: tidy, hoover and dust the living room
2: clean the kitchen and utility
3: hoover all rooms, Inc the hall, stairs and landings.

He does one while my husband and I each do the others. He recognises that he's part of the team that keeps this house running.

I do all his washing but he knows that if he needs it for that week then it has to be in his washing basket. If he forgets something then he will ask me nicely, and often bring the load down.

To be honest, he's a dream teen, he will do most things he is asked and often makes cuppas and little extras like that. My older children did a bit less but fought about it a lot more! I think the problem is less what they do and more, do they appreciate what you do.

Oh, forgot to say, while he does his Saturday chore with little resistance, every job takes him around 15 minutes so rotating it means we do a more thorough job on our weeks. It just means he realises how much there is to do.

My 8 and 10 year olds make their own breakfast - they don’t do much else though apart from tidying their own mess up.

Ds2 is Year 11, dishwasher as part of a rota so 3 times a week. Strips bed and puts it in the wash on a set day per week. Whilst he is at school I dry the bedding, wash and dry the bathroom towels dump them in his room, he makes his bed and folds and puts the towels back. His room is tidy, no floordrobe as he has a specific drawer for worn clothes. Every morning he folds back the duvet to air the bed.

Puts all his laundry into colour coded baskets. Sets table, gets drinks, clears up afterwards as part of a team effort. Is responsible for a kitchen bin which gets emptied on set days twice a week. One of those days is the bin collection so he puts the bin to the end of the drive and brings it back in. His brother (now at uni) was responsible for the other kitchen bin for recycling, Ds does this one too when his brother is not home.

He will drop everything to help unpack food shopping, do gardening stuff, tip runs etc. Never complains. He makes his own breakfast and snacks, usually helps to make dinner but is having a year 11 break from that whilst he concentrates on revision. He would make his packed lunch but Dh is doing it as it will be the last few months before he goes to sixth form and Dh is cherishing this task.

I think the main thing is understanding he is part of the family and we all do stuff round the house. It is a bit different for me because I don't work so am home to do stuff, but he and Ds1 used to make a family dinner every Friday night by themselves.

Your son can learn to load a washing machine and put it on. It is his fault his sports kit didn't get washed. From now on he can be responsible for his uniform wash and his sports kit wash. He is supposed to be learning to be a functioning adult. He can start here.

I meant he puts it into the washing machine and puts it on.

My 13yo empties dishwasher, takes all bins out. Will do his own washing if he wants it quicker than I do it. Puts away own washing. Makes own food most of the time... Breakfast, lunch, If he doesn't want what we are eating. Sometimes makes food for younger brother as well. Has to keep his room tidy (ish).

It's good to start handing over some responsibility or they get a shock when they suddenly have to do it all.

OP I'd be livid with that too.

DS 16. Takes it in turns to clear down after dinner, regularly makes us drinks. Taking a turn cleaning of bathroom / downstairs loo / ensuite.

Once a week he has to plan and cook dinner for family of 5 (lets me know the ingredients prior to my 'big' shop). He's done that since he was 14.

Mine does the dishwasher some nights (we take in turns), walks the dog, cleans his room, does his own washing, cooks a few nights a week for everyone, I’m sure other stuff.

Basically he does his share, we all do. I’m his mum, not his staff.

My 12 year old son makes his own breakfast and packed lunch. He empties the dishwasher, irons his shirts for school and strips the bed. He’ll occasionally Hoover and wipe things when prompted. Oh and takes the recycling out and puts it in the right boxes.

Wow poor kid has plenty going on between school and being a teen without this, he really doesn't need it. Let him be a child, the responsibilities of life will be on him soon enough. He sounds like a good lad, just let him be.

He should be counting his blessings! When I was 15, I was hoovering the house, cleaning the kitchen and dusting, all on a Sat morning! I also changed my bed sheets, loaded the washing machine and hung the clothes out. My Mum was teaching me how to cook at that age too. Hated it at the time, but I'm thankful for the 'home training' I had today.

My 15 year old picks up dog poo everyday, does his own washing and sweeps the stairs twice a week, he also does his own snap for school and keeps his room tidy (ish!)

@Nelliephant1 you are quite right, he is a sweet boy, he actually just popped home for something and we both said sorry to each other....so I better up my washing rota! You are right, they are only young once. Thanks for all the I put from you guys !

Mine isn't a teen yet, but I'll be getting them to do roughly the same as I did.
Me and my two sisters took turns each night to light the fire, walk the dog, do the dishes. We cooked dinner once a week and everyone did their own laundry. This added up to maybe 1-2 hours a week if you don't include the dog walking, which was a condition of having a dog so I don't think it counts!
I think this is fine. Me and my sisters were able to help our busy parents, and we turned into adults that other people wanted to share flats and houses with! We also learned skills - cooking shouldn't be underestimated - it's so vital to living cheaply and being healthy and happy.

DD is 15. She and DS (12) do the dishwasher between them, and put out recycling. She gets her own breakfast every day and mostly makes her pack lunch but occassionally she asks me to do which I don't mind. Occassionally (like once a month) I might ask them to hoover. I do all the laundry and ironing, although if I'm out I sometimes ask her to hang out/bring in the washing. I know which days are PE/sports clubs so I schedule when to do washing, to accommodate those, but it's their own responsibility to get the kit to the laundry basket or washing machine. (DS gets a few reminders) I'm not seeking out sweaty kit!!

If they want a particular item on a particular day they need to give me a few days notice to get it clean/dry/ironed.

Ds1 is 14. He has to:

• Unload and load the dishwasher every day
• Quick tidy of his own room every single day before bed (mainly dirty clothes out into the hamper and clear any glasses/rubbish etc) - takes 5 minutes.
• Full clean of his room every week including stripping and making the bed, dusting/wiping all surfaces, polishing his TV and gaming screens, hoover - takes him about 20 minutes/half hour.
• Ad hoc laundry putting away, so maybe once a week I'll give him a pile of dry laundry to put away which takes 15 mins or so.

He does also cook and prepare meals occasionally but this is when he requests to as he enjoys it. The cost/mess/faffing involved in his efforts certainly doesn't make it count as a chore lol.

However I am going to make him responsible for his school gym kit, even just lookthe night before for ot, to make sure it is clean. That's a start!

Mine makes her own breakfast, packs her lunch (I make the sandwich the night before).
She does her own washing except for school stuff that I do at the weekend.
She keeps her room to an acceptable level (need to be able to see the floor).
Being responsible for herself is mainly what we ask.
She will also occasionally cook dinner (by choice) and will keep an eye on the toddler for a few minutes if asked.

My 14 year old DS1 and 12 year old DD each get £5 a week pocket money regardless. Then, every day they're with me (rather than at their dad's), they can earn £1 extra for a little job - hanging out wet washing or sorting the dry laundry, hoovering, cleaning bathroom, dusting a room etc. I pay the extra job money cumulatively at the end of the week onto their cards.

Completely separate from the paid for jobs is the expectation they: lay the table for dinner, make own lunches for school (not every day because DS1 likes school dinners sometimes), change their own beds weekly, clear the table after dinner.

There really isn't too much moaning about all this and it seems to work ok for us all. DS2 who is 7 helps with table stuff as a matter of course and sometimes cleans the skirting boards for a pound coin

It's a very self centred age and they need this pointing out sometimes! But a bad attitude sometimes hides embarrassment at not being sure how to do it themselves. DD can lash out but by and large she will try to solve things herself where she can, which makes it easier for us to offer to help her sort it rather than biting back.

Mine alternates dishwasher unloading and handwashing DCs' lunch boxes and water bottles, washes up her breakfast things, clears draining board, changes bedding, tidies room ish. Doesn't do whole washes usually but will fold one if I dump it on the sofa. I make her packed lunch because I do DS's (SEN), otherwise she would be doing it.

My 12, 14 and 15 year olds make their own breakfast and lunch, unless I'm making something for everyone. If they want packed lunch, they make one. If they want something specific washed, they wash it. If they want an item of clothing ironed, they iron it.

All have one set chore they do after dinner (12 year old wipes table, 14 year old puts dishes away and 15 year old vacuums). Extra chores are optional, with financial reward (£1 for cleaning toilet, 50p for cleaning cupboards, £2 for cooking dinner, £1 for hanging out a whole load of laundry etc) as their basic pocket money is quite low. They could easily earn £5+ a week, if they choose.

DS14

• makes his own breakfast (unless we're having a family breakfast together)
• makes his own lunch and dinner (if he doesn't what the same as what we're having)

He will tidy his room under duress, but if he doesn't do it then it stays a shithole; I won't do it for him.

He will load the washing machine with no complaint if I specifically ask him to.