I want another DC but DH doesn't.

[ItsMeRhondaFromPS129]

First off, DH has a son with his ex who is a teenager and has always had 50/50 contact and I have a fantastic relationship with him and his mum.

DH and I have been married 3 years and we have a DD who is 16 months. Before we tried for our daughter, he was always clear in saying if I wanted a baby then fine and again fine if I didn't. I did say from the start I'd probably only want one.

In the last few months, I've realised I would love to have another baby. However, DH is adamant he does not.

I can't help but feel a bit crap about it that I no longer have a choice if I want to have another baby or not as DH has said he feels too told to have another baby (he's 37, I'm 34).

Financially we could afford another baby and we have room at home for another without SS and DD having to move rooms etc.

DH and I have a wonderful marriage, no issues or anything but this is the only thing we are disagreeing on.

Not sure what we can do :(

@aSofaNearYou oh of course wanting your child to have a sibling is a valid desire. I totally understand that and wanted it myself. Iknow many people feel that way. However it is not a good enough reason to pressure someone who doesn’t want a child into having a child. Also it is based on the parents needs still “I want my child to have a sibling”….in reality is a sibling going to offset the damaged caused by growing up in a home where one parent manipulates and forces the other into having a child. I think not personally.

@girlmom21

Being a higher earner doesn't mean you get more of a say. Being the main parent would.

It does if the woman is wanting another child and expecting to stay off work for several more years thereby putting all the financial pressure on her partner because of it.

I think OP needs to pick between

1. leaving, finding someone else and having another baby or

1. accepting she will only have one child.

Negatives of one are she may not be able to have another, v disruptive to family, expensive, upsetting.

But she may prioritise a second child above that.

[quote twinsetandpearl]@girlmom21

Being a higher earner doesn't mean you get more of a say. Being the main parent would.

It does if the woman is wanting another child and expecting to stay off work for several more years thereby putting all the financial pressure on her partner because of it.
[/quote]
A woman (or man) wanting to have several years to look after a child is not the same as anyone wanting another child.

I agree that if all the financial responsibilities fall to one person they have a right to say no, just as if you said to your DH you want another child but that he'll need to give up work and look after the child he'd have every right to say no.

But that all boils down to poor communication/balance in a relationship, not the higher earner getting more of a say.

It is wrong to bring a child into the world that is not wanted by both parents.