Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Burnout can take 3-5 years recovery

50 replies

PollyPutTheKettleOnKettleOn · 22/03/2022 18:55

There's an article on the DF where a life coach says extreme burn out can take 3-5 years to recover from...I was wondering if anyone here has found this to be the case for them or someone they know?

www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-10637595/Life-coach-reveals-FIVE-YEARS-recover-burnout.html

OP posts:
SamphiretheStickerist · 22/03/2022 19:09

Yep.

I left teaching a couple of years too late. For 2 years I was useless, couldn't organise myself, found job hunting extremely stressful.

Now, almost 7 years in I have just be asked if I would step in and help organise a failing department.. I could feel my heart rate and blood pressure rise as I listened. I couldn't go back into a lecture room if my life depended on it.

PollyPutTheKettleOnKettleOn · 22/03/2022 21:33

@samphirethestickerist I'm sorry it hit you so badly Flowers

I took a sabbatical from last year due to burnout, I'm due to go back soon but don't feel ready yet - the idea that it could take another 2 years or more is scary!

OP posts:
SamphiretheStickerist · 23/03/2022 16:45

I have never been back.

After those 2 years I started a business, in something that I didn't even know was a job 😊

Now, 7 years later I am about to start a second business, craft based with a community based teaching element - though even that is causing some anxiety.

I know I should have left earlier. DH asked over and over. But I like the teaching. It's just all the politics I hate and eventually that buried me.

beattieedny · 23/03/2022 16:47

It very much depends on so many factors. What support one has, how burnt out one is, socio-economic factors, having faith, and so on and on.

Garfieldismyspiritanimal · 23/03/2022 17:08

Yes. I am nearly three years out and just feel like I can see the green shoots of recovery. I have been successful in a new role but have struggled to feel like the old me. It does take a while.

Hawkins001 · 23/03/2022 17:10

Thankfully, I've not approached it, some days I have the I need a day off,

PollyPutTheKettleOnKettleOn · 23/03/2022 17:16

It really hit me like a sledgehammer and ended up unable to function on a basic level. I've never experienced anuthing like this before. I hate the idea that it could take me so long but I'm really glad I'm not alone in still struggling.i don't know how to sat how I feel exactly, but I'm certainly feeling that I'm a failing in some way that I don't feel like me again yet Sad

@SamphiretheStickerist it sounds like you've really transformed your life in a great way

@Garfieldismyspiritanimal
I'm glad you're finally starting to feel like yourself again a bit. Can I ask how you still struggle?

OP posts:
Numbersarefun · 23/03/2022 17:20

Yes - easily. I’ve come to the conclusion that the anxiety and depression I now have is chronic and I will always have to manage it. Left my job six or so years ago.

bowlingalleyblues · 23/03/2022 17:21

This has the ring of truth about it to me, I know people my parents age who had “a breakdown” due to stress and it was a life changing event. I don’t think people realise how bad it is until it’s too late.

GraceJonesBiggestFan · 23/03/2022 17:27

3 years on and just starting to feel a bit stronger. Now work in an entirely different field, but the slightest reminder of my previous life can lever me really low for days.

GraceJonesBiggestFan · 23/03/2022 17:28

@bowlingalleyblues

This has the ring of truth about it to me, I know people my parents age who had “a breakdown” due to stress and it was a life changing event. I don’t think people realise how bad it is until it’s too late.
It was certainly life-changing for me. Sadly the whole awful experience knocked my confidence so badly, I don’t see myself as the same person at all.
BarrowInFurnessRailwayStation · 23/03/2022 17:31

Two years this month for me. Had to change meds and I still can't talk to people, but it's not as bad as before.

Mellowyellow222 · 23/03/2022 17:49

For me it took about a year. I had lots of counselling, and was able to go back to work. But I don’t think I will ever be the same.

Looking back I only took six weeks off work which was nuts. I needed about six months

HorsesHoundsandHills · 23/03/2022 18:00

3.5 years so far. I’m not the same person I was before, and it’s such a relief to read this thread and know that it’s not just me.

I’ve stayed in the same profession (GP), but changed practice a couple of times since my first episode. Biggest mistake was going back to the same employer after my initial sick leave - I burned out again within a year after they broke all their promises. I only went back because of my patients, but now the practice has closed anyway.

I’m now doing a role with fewer clinical sessions, but in honesty I don’t think I’m going to recover fully until I leave practice and do something different. 25 years of a medical career is hard to walk away from, and I’m angry and sad that the caring and committed Dr I was has been reduced to an anxious, resentful, hyper-vigilant mess.

Garfieldismyspiritanimal · 23/03/2022 18:33

@PollyPutTheKettleOnKettleOn I still have bouts of crippling imposter syndrome and also have to work hard to not let my mental health slide. From the outside I am really successful at my job. On the inside I am constantly worried I will mess up.

picklemewalnuts · 23/03/2022 18:57

I don't think you ever fully recover. You are different, with a different stress threshold.

I'll never be as resilient as I used to be- or at least as I thought I was! Turns out I wasn't resilient at all, just ignoring the damage.

TiddleTaddleTat · 23/03/2022 19:33

Interesting. I wonder what ‘true burnout’ looks like exactly? I have had periods of severe stress, there have been physical complications as a result of that stress. There must be a great deal of people experiencing similar.

Mellowyellow222 · 23/03/2022 19:33

I do think people are becoming more open about this in the work place.

I have residual anxiety - I catastrophise and therefore procrastinate. I know I am doing it but I sometimes freeze worrying I am going to miss something. It’s awful. My boss does recognise when I am doing it and is great.

We need more supportive work environments. People who don’t care about their jobs don’t burn out - it’s those of us who put our hearts and souls into it.

PollyPutTheKettleOnKettleOn · 23/03/2022 19:41

@TiddleTaddleTat

Interesting. I wonder what ‘true burnout’ looks like exactly? I have had periods of severe stress, there have been physical complications as a result of that stress. There must be a great deal of people experiencing similar.
Mine was caused by a few things, but the thing that really did for it was bullying in the workplace. I didn't recognise it as bullying at first lasted 18months with it.

I'm now ill with severe depression and panic attacks. On top of that, I don't sleep, I struggle to eat and my ability to concentrate on anything has disappeared.

I used to be a highly capable, resilient high flier and think I will get better, I'm just not sure what the process is going to be. I'm so worried that I'll go back to work and be told how crap i am again Sad

OP posts:
TiddleTaddleTat · 23/03/2022 21:19

@PollyPutTheKettleOnKettleOn I’m so sorry to hear that. I have worked in really toxic workplaces too, the first time I stayed too long, second time it was my manager being bullied and I supported her to get out while making my exit as quickly as possible. It’s just dreadful and has such long lasting effects. Sending you healing vibes.

HorsesHoundsandHills · 24/03/2022 07:43

@PollyPutTheKettleOnKettleOn Unless the bully has been removed, I would be very reluctant to go back into the same work environment. Even if the actual bully has gone, you need to assess whether the culture that supported the bullying has changed. If not then you’d be going back into the same situation that caused the burnout. I can tell you from experience that’s not a good idea. At the very least it would be worth looking at moving employers.

Part of the burnout for me was a feeling of guilt, that I’d let my patients down despite the fact that I’d spent years working at a ridiculous pace with little support to keep an understaffed practice afloat. It was this unreasonable and unhealthy guilt that sent me back into the same place, when none of the promised support materialised.
I find myself now wanting to WANT to be a Dr. In hindsight it would have been healthier to change career entirely, and that may yet need to happen. If you don’t feel ready to face any of this, then you need more time to recover. Flowers

DrDreReturns · 24/03/2022 07:47

@bowlingalleyblues that happened to my Dad. He had a breakdown when he was on his 40s. He's never been the same since. It's awful I remember him being such a fun bloke beforehand, no he gets anxious really easily.

NoOtherShadeOfBlue · 24/03/2022 07:56

I am 2.5 years on from my burnout. To me, it feels like a broken bone but in my mind. Pressure makes it twinge again. It's a weak spot and I have had bouts if anxiety and depression since. I do feel changed, that I'm different to who I was before. I think I've learned to be kinder to myself and others though as a result. I can see it taking a long time to feel truly recovered, but I am better than I was. It just takes a lot of rebuilding.

User56436674 · 24/03/2022 08:01

Yep. I'm 3 years out of teaching and still suffering with terrible anxiety

Danascully2 · 24/03/2022 08:19

Reading your experiences with much interest. I made a sideways career move which has worked out well for me but I still get panicky dreams if I even think of going back to my original career, even though in other ways I really miss it. It probably didn't help in some ways that I didn't say to anyone (not even myself really) how much I was struggling, didn't get signed off or anything, just left my job. Ten years on I'm considering getting some counselling to sort out some of my experiences and feelings and work out whether going back is realistic or a bad idea, bearing in mind that I'm settled in my new area. But that timescale is probably extended because in that ten years I had two children with limited family support and struggled with the sleep deprivation, juggling work and sick children etc etc. Then just as we were coming out of the baby phase with the second one there was Covid.... Also I find it hard to remember what I was like before but I think I was always quite an anxious person.