Burnout can take 3-5 years recovery

[PollyPutTheKettleOnKettleOn]

There's an article on the DF where a life coach says extreme burn out can take 3-5 years to recover from...I was wondering if anyone here has found this to be the case for them or someone they know?

www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-10637595/Life-coach-reveals-FIVE-YEARS-recover-burnout.html

I'd agree.

I quit teaching 5 years ago and took a job in a shop the reasons I left gave me PTSD. The school I left were beyond unsupportive after I was assaulted. I quit when they sent me straight back to the classroom with significant bruising etc. I was acting HOD of a core subject and graded outstanding internally and by ofsted. My union were heavily involved.

I worked in a minimum wage job for 3 years, retrained, moved to the countryside and started a family. My DS is now nearly 2 and I've just started a business.

For the first year, I could barely string a sentence together. I tried supply in a lovely school, but it gave me panic attacks if I was in a busy corridor.

I did a course based on personal interest to teach my brain to think coherently again. It's a niche topic and has led to some great opportunities. I'll be starting some further qualifications soon and hope to be back in ft work when my child starts school.

Luckily, my DH is very supportive and we could afford the time for me to get well again. It's been tough.

So much of this resonates with me. I left my job 2.5 years ago and haven't gone back to work since.

I didn't recognise it as burnout at the time. I just knew I had to leave after years of being in a high pressure environment. I was like a zombie for the first year after leaving. Covid lockdowns kicked in so that didn't help either but I do feel it permanently changed me. It was my first ever anxiety attack that pushed me to leave in the first place and I have had terrible bouts of anxiety since over the silliest things. I feel like a changed person and extremely delicate emotionally.

I left about 3 years ago. I'm never going to put myself under that pressure again. You don't realise how crippling it is. It took me years to get back to what I would call normal
Guess which profession, there seems to be a pattern here

As a coach I'm slightly surprised to hear such a definitive statement because people vary so much and saying things like that can be a self-fulfilling prophecy. I think a lot depends on how far into burnout you went before got out of the stressful situation, what support you get to recover and how much your symptoms get in the way of healing e.g. difficulty sleeping is going to set your recovery back. And of course it depends what you count as recovered - I suspect it's very rare for people to recover enough to go back to situations similar to the one that triggered your burnout (and in most cases, why would you want to?), but I do think it's possible to get back to being healthy and happy and resilient in a different role.

I'm currently taking some time off to recover from a very stressful time - I think I managed to stop in the early stages of burnout and am going back to a different job next month so that will hopefully be manageable. Counselling, rest and trying to do things that help me recover (sleep, exercise, fresh air, good company) are making a real difference though it is important not to underestimate the time it takes.

to all you burntout people, hope you find a better mental space soon.

Thank you OP for starting this thread.

I finally burned out about 4 years ago now. Then couldn't get any work, no matter what I applied for after being made redundant, which was the final burn out straw.

The only job I've been able to get since is back in the place that made me redundant, low status (but decent pay for a change!), very high stress and pressure due to the nature of the role. I'm currently taking a couple of go easy days having worked every day since January.

It took me a long time to decide to take the job offer, even after 3 years of unemployment and with the threat of never working again looming.

It has been very odd returning, as it has confirmed that I loved my job, and frankly I am excellent at it, but the conditions are just toxic, and hard work, giving a shit, and ability aren't the keys to success.

I still feel broken.
I suspect the pandemic and failed ttc haven't helped either.

This spring finally feels like it is helping though.

and strength to all.

It doesn't take that long at all. It requires removal from the situation that triggered it, though, as well as a break, as if you go back to the original job, or scenario, or whatever, burnout will occur again. Why would it not?

It needs a break and a permanent change (easier said than done, obvs). I found this out myself, first blaming myself for not being able to 'cope' even with a break then realising it wasn't me that was broken, and had a complete change of career. Now I never get burnout but I would in my old career, very fast.

Maybe it didn't take that long for you @knittingchamp, but for others it's a longer journey
It's not somewhere I want to be again

@Knittingchamp

It doesn't take that long at all. It requires removal from the situation that triggered it, though, as well as a break, as if you go back to the original job, or scenario, or whatever, burnout will occur again. Why would it not?

It needs a break and a permanent change (easier said than done, obvs). I found this out myself, first blaming myself for not being able to 'cope' even with a break then realising it wasn't me that was broken, and had a complete change of career. Now I never get burnout but I would in my old career, very fast.

It depends. I was left with permanent health issues and a decreased tolerance to stress. Not only could I not return to previous stressful situations, I can't manage the 'typical' amount of stress most people can.

I also went back after burn out but am feeling on edge again.

My employer (NHS) just takes the piss endlessly. Extra patients. Quick add-ons. Endless late finishes.

My domestic admin/ household cleanliness is a total disaster as I keep getting home so late I basically eat dinner and then go to bed ready to get back up at 06:30 to be back at work at 07:30 (my official start time).

Yes if agree - three years, and yup, teaching again. I clung on after having six months off with stress / anxiety / depression as I needed the way for getting a first mortgage and having baby 2. Never went back after that maternity leave. Am now in a much, much easier and better paid job but the first couple of years I was a mess. I had done some counseling through occupational health while I was signed off and that was enough to keep me ticking over for a while but I needed two years after leaving teaching (and a very, very lucky break, professionally) before I was able to restart my career. Anxiety, self esteem on the floor, etc.

Agree with many others, it’s a journey. I would say about 8 months to get over the worst but still living with effects 2.5 years in. I’m a different person now but in many ways this is positive. More healthy with a much better work / life balance. I still get very triggered by bullying.

Sounds about right. I didn't realise how burnt out I was, not from work in my case but dealing with dd who's autistic and the stress of my now exh. Took 2 years before I got to the point of really being able to look to the future

I'm currently on the edges of burnout. I've stepped back from a couple of committees and now am making a few other changes. I think I woke up to it early enough that I'm not going to actually burnout. It's super scary though and my anxiety has increased quite a bit.

I am so glad I found this forum- just reading about what other people have gone through has really helped me.

I burnt out from a high-stress job just before Covid hit (early 2019). It's been about 3.5 years and I'm slowly getting better, though not quite the same as before.
I worked in 2 different, toxic workplaces in 2018 and 2019 (1 year in each)- needless to say I don't intend to go back to my original career ever again.

I remember there was a point in 2019 when my manager pushed me to work to a deadline that was so incredibly stressful, I just stood in the middle of the office after it was all finished- and just felt like something in my brain had just 'broken'. There was bullying involved and it didn't help that I was working in these toxic environments with incredibly awful managers to match (used to work in architecture - it was pretty much 20+ years of my life).

I now work on my own projects with my own clients. It's been a God-send for my recovery and for my sanity as well. It's scary to think that I might take more time to recover- but it's true what a lot of people on here say, you rarely return to what you used to do, the thing that caused your burnout...I am hoping to re-train in a completely different field after I finish my current project.

And you do go through some days where you feel like your productivity is seemingly 'through the roof' and then, more often than not- there are the days where you can barely concentrate at all. It's frustrating to say the least- but patience with the healing process is key.

Much love, prayers, and support to all 💛

I think if you make a full recovery from burn-out after any length of time then you are extremely fortunate.

I completely imploded about 20 years ago after constantly fire-fighting in an awful NHS department full of hopeless colleagues. I've never made what I consider a full recovery, even though I have managed to get my life into a place where I'm reasonably content and happy. I'm simply not the person I was prior to the burn-out. I have never recovered my powers of concentration fully, I have never recovered the energy and get-up-and-go I once had, and I am no longer able to tolerate any sort of stressful situation without more or less immediately suffering an adrenalin overload and exploding.

I have no doubt it's perfectly possible for some people to make a full recovery in some cases, but I think that would depend on just how extreme the burnout is to begin with, and how profoundly it effects you. I was bedbound for weeks, lost just under 4 stone, and suffered with intermittent suicidal ideation for upwards of ten years afterwards, so for me it was a complete and utter mental breakdown, not just a case of mental fatigue and feeling I couldn't continue in my role.

I'm so sorry to hear that you have experienced all this, I really resonated with what you outlined in your post - I had similar suicidal ideations and zero tolerance for stress of any kind.
I remember driving to a particularly busy part of the city recently (which I found moderately stressful before) - and once I stopped the car and found a carpark, I just found myself hyperventilating. And this was AFTER I thought I was a little better.

It does take you by surprise and it is a drawn-out process of feeling even remotely better about everything. I've discovered that I cannot be in a typical corporate environment again, or a busy environment for that matter, the politics, feeling the good (and BAD) energies of everyone around me, being affected by stress etc. So am trying to re-train to work remotely in the tech field (just an idea at this stage).

I know my experience might be vastly different to yours, and we all experience the world in our own way, but I do know this to be true. Whatever you've been through, or are going through - do not isolate yourself (like I did for a few years- to my detriment), connect with your family, friends, community - whether it's through a hiking club, church morning teas, a coffee, knitting groups.. you get the picture. I highly recommend connecting with people whether in real life or via Zoom for example (if COVID is pretty bad where you are).
Admittedly, I had to be very picky as to who I surrounded myself with - they had to be life-giving (not draining), supportive, non-judgmental, loving and kind. And even if that means only 1 or 2 people, you're on the right track.

And I know it's hard to do, but I've started to stop putting expectations on myself- about how I should be on a particular day. A lot of the pain comes from us beating up on ourselves for not 'returning to normal', we wouldn't be so harsh on our best friend and yet we say it to ourselves! This one is a constant challenge, but I've found that being kind to yourself needs to be a priority.

I hope you continue to feel happy and content with life as it is, and I pray that you and everyone on this forum will continue to heal and start really enjoying life again💚

Thought I would write about another HUGE FACTOR that affected my burnout (and recovery). In the hopes that it will help anyone on here, or anyone you might know.

Menopause (whether surgical or natural), it will have its effect on you. And if you haven't experienced any symptoms, consider yourself extremely blessed and lucky!

I went through a hysterectomy in 2015 (they found cancer), so I had to go through with removing my uterus (with ovaries intact). No one, not even my gynae or my GP mentioned anything about perimenopause or menopause, or what to expect.

For 3 years after, I suffered from insomnia, irritability, increased sensitivity to my environment, mood swings, difficulty concentrating etc - I thought I was GOING CRAZY or was having early onset dementia!
The stress, bad concentration, bad sleeps peaked in 2018, 2019 and it was only after I went to see an endocrinologist in 2020 that she told me I was experiencing symptoms brought on by hormonal changes (including severe depression).

I was reluctant to go on anti-depressants, thinking 'I could handle things myself', and didn't want to 'feel like I needed them' - big mistake. After years of saying no to it, I finally gave in. I also started using HRT patches (as my GP deemed me to be in a low-risk category).
But I was still having really bad insomnia, so my endocrinologist sent me for a sleep study. Weirdly, they found that I had mild sleep apnoea, which really affected how I functioned during the day. And I was told that a lot of menopausal women experience sleep apnoea (who knew?)

It's been only 10 months or so since I started- but am now on a CPAP machine, on anti-depressants and HRT patches - and it's changed my life for the better. My concentration still needs work but my goodness, without these 3 things in my life - I would still be crying every night, depressed, and unable to do anything at all.

Don't underestimate how your hormones will affect you once you reach 45+ (in some women it could be 35+). It's worth checking out, even if you don't think you're a candidate for any of these things. I would highly recommend seeing your GP and/or endocrinologist to start you on some sort of a plan to get better.
Then, of course, there's talk therapy (which I did for a time)- it all helps. 🙏

Thank you for this thread op 💐.
This is me also, on the cusp of burnout if not already.
I’m NHS reception/ admin in a busy outpatient clinic, extra patients that are added on during the day, so I/we get stressed with the added workload, the nurses are waiting for me to book these extra patients in so there is pressure for me to keep up so the nurses keep up. This is on band 2 wage, just slightly over min wage.

Catching up with covid backlog which is going to take a long long time.

Managers/ supervisors are nowhere to be seen when you need help. They seem to disappear. We are expected to work around any unexpected extra workload.

I’m in work an hour early, just to keep ahead of things, then I’m out like a light at 8.30 pm, then back up at 5.30 to be at work early again. No life at all between getting home and waking up. Can’t string a sentence together.
I’m panicking about everything, about whether my log in won’t work when I turn my computer on in the morning, it does work, just the panic. to the end of the day.
I’m not the same person that started in that department in 2014.
I catastrophise and procrastinate, as a previous poster has mentioned they do. That is an accurate description of my day.

I used to train people up to do my job with no effort, now I have to really concentrate on what I’m saying to people and it’s draining. I can’t speak and I switch off, and the people I’m training get frustrated with me.

I can’t cope anymore and I am thinking of jacking it all in next year.
I’ll be 57.

Sorry, that was long.

I'm glad this thread and the link is still reaching out to people. I'm so sorry you're suffering :(

I wish I had words of advice that will magically change things, but I think finding the mental energy to get out and into another job ASAP is the only thing and I wish I'd done it sooner.

I've decided not to go back to my job and have handed in my notice. I'm looking for another now and will choose carefully - lucky that I have a few savings to fall back on but they won't last long.

Thank you all for sharing your experiences with me, I can't tell you how much it means. I've felt so alone and thought until this thread I was unusual in it taking so long for me to recover. I thought I must be weak. And it's felt shameful.

Your replies have been validating, given me hope and shown me that it's not the case - that we're each of us strong and capable and there's nothing wrong with us cracking under immense and sustained stress.

Revisiting this thread has reminded me that many of you say your tolerance for stress is permanently lowered, which I think I'll need to watch out for.

A lot of the pain comes from us beating up on ourselves for not 'returning to normal', we wouldn't be so harsh on our best friend and yet we say it to ourselves! This one is a constant challenge, but I've found that being kind to yourself needs to be a priority
This is painfully true. I've been deeply frustrated in recent weeks that I'm not back to normal yet, and if I'm honest, I'm still refusing to believe that I won't be again. Which I guess it's terribly healthy.

@ShineOnYouCrazyHonda please at least reach out to your gp and consider being signed off for a time. It's not worth your sanity.
That constant panic was with me also for so long, I still remember the day when I struggled to identify the feeling I was having before realising I felt calm for the time in over a year.

If you can jack it in next year, do explore looking at doing so earlier and time off will give you time to rest and direct your limited energy towards this.

Thank you all so, so much for stopping me feeling I was so alone. I really didn't expect it when I started the thread 💐💐💐💐

Thank you @PollyPutTheKettleOnKettleOn.
I am going to ring my GP tomorow and I’m thinking of asking for HRT patches, see if they will help. @JemmaQ has a point that makes me think it could be partly due to the menopause with me too.

I can’t afford to have time off from work at the moment, something I forgot to mention in my post earlier, but this is due to a major change in the system I use at work 98% of the time, and we’re undergoing training for this. I’m panicking I’ll miss something if I go off sick.
Yes, another panic, on top of extra patients and also ever changing covid rules 😵‍💫😞.

I am glad you have handed in your notice, just think of the day you walk out of there and take a deep breath. Plus a nice ☕️ and 🍰.
And yes, good idea with choosing your next job carefully.

Next year it’ll be my private pension I’ll be dipping into. I want to take a year out ideally, and I’ll take a leaf out of your book and be careful what job to go to next, maybe wfh.

I was hoping to retire when I turned 60, but this panic fear and burnout has made me bring it forward.

@Fnrrrrrf That is disgusting the way you were treated after the assault, honest to God, we have to wonder how heartless people were to expect you to go back to the classroom when you obviously not any where near ready. I am so sorry that happened to you 💐

@XDownwiththissortofthingX
I completely imploded about 20 years ago after constantly fire-fighting in an awful NHS department full of hopeless colleagues. I've never made what I consider a full recovery, even though I have managed to get my life into a place where I'm reasonably content and happy. I'm simply not the person I was prior to the burn-out. I have never recovered my powers of concentration fully, I have never recovered the energy and get-up-and-go I once had, and I am no longer able to tolerate any sort of stressful situation without more or less immediately suffering an adrenalin overload and exploding.. I hear you 100%. Every word 💐

It very much depends on so many factors. What support one has, how burnt out one is, socio-economic factors, having faith, and so on and on.

Agreed @beattieedny. I read something somewhere about the socio economic side of it. The lower you are on the work pay scale, the less autonomy you have.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart @PollyPutTheKettleOnKettleOn for starting this thread. 🏵🌸🌼I have read too many unhelpful articles online about burnout - mostly talking about how they 'bounced back' after 6 months or 12 months and how you can do the same in 5 easy steps! The shame you feel, it's real - and instinctively, you know that it's NOT that straightforward and there are many complex emotions and contributing factors. And because of the shame factor, no one is talking about what it truly looks like from day to day in their blogs.
This was the only place where I found people struggling with the EXACT SAME ISSUES as I was. And people are REAL about it. It has been very validating for me too, and to know that you are not the only one is a very comforting feeling.
I will keep thinking and praying for you and everyone on here experiencing this 🙏💜
I'm just taking one day at a time now 😊

@ShineOnYouCrazyHonda I am so sorry to hear what you are going through, I pray that your GP was able to help you in some way 💚

@XDownwiththissortofthingX I was a band 7, 21year career, high flier. The job just got harder and harder, less staff, greater workload and pressure from the top daily. I was run ragged and the staff I was supporting were struggling too.

There was a toxic management structure where your face had to fit. After my second sickness due to burnout I knew they would manage me out, and they did.

I now work as support staff in a school, I’m broke but happy. I am far kinder to myself and recognise when I’m getting stressed (stop eating and sleeping) and make sure I take action not to head down the same path again. I am not the same person I was but my life is more balanced.

@Biscuitandacuppa
I now work as support staff in a school, I’m broke but happy. I am far kinder to myself and recognise when I’m getting stressed (stop eating and sleeping) and make sure I take action not to head down the same path again. I am not the same person I was but my life is more balanced. Yes!! 🙌

Took me about 18m to feel better then probably another year to feel totally normal