Do you allow things to be eaten before paying?

[georgousbold]

In a supermarket etc

When I walk around, I do open something to keep DS quiet. Works a treat.

Nobody has ever told me off or questioned me on it

Is this the done thing in the UK? Can think of a few countries it would be allowed in and nobody would say anything

But you could never do that in Japan for example, South Korea either

When I was a kid on the 80s my mum would always give me a bottle of fizzy pop the drink during the weekly shop. I used to get excited about it!

I’m in my 40s now and a perfectly balanced adult with no food issues or any disrespect for supermarkets, and my mum was and is not lazy and disgusting.

Dear god!

I did give my son a packet on milkybar buttons in a garden centre last when my then 4 month old suddenly needed to be breastfed before she screamed the whole place down and I was terrified he would run away/ run wild, he’s eaten his lunch and all snacks about an hour before. I apologised to the lady on the checkout as I paid for them and she didn’t seem to be bothered about it. I don’t think I’d make it a regular thing though as I’d like him to know that it’s not okay to help yourself to something you haven't paid for. I normally take plenty of snacks with me on trips out but this day we’d somehow got through them all!

Haha this is such a well-thrashed-out argument on mumsnet, since the days well before supermarket deliveries!

@Zilla1

'It isn't difficult to feed your child before going to the shop' - unfortunately perhaps not for everyone.

Exactly, I wouldn't judge because nowadays you don't know how long it's been since they had any money and food in their cupboards.

For this reason I wouldn't judge adults eating either.

It’s one of those things which is pretty normal IRL and goes completely unnoticed, but in MN land is akin to bank robbery or stealing a luxury car.

I don't know why people bother with obvious trolling when you can simply ask MN about a fairly dull behaviour that could be perceived as either common and/or entitled and watch it get wild 😂

@MayBeeMee

Never, and I judge people who do. How hard is it to either feed your child before you go if they’re hungry, or take a toy to play with if they’re bored? Lazy parenting and a bad example to children imo, sorry.

Wow. I can't imagine living my life with that much judgement. Do you find it a heavy burden, being that perfect? Personally, I find happiness in seeing the best in people and respecting others - your way sounds bitter and obnoxious

On the odd occasion I did break off the end of a loaf of bread to keep a grizzly toddler occupied, but to be honest I switched to online shopping when mine were small. Carting 3 under 4s around Tesco was far too stressful; the decision was made for me when the two oldest pulled a half-full trolley over onto its side, with the youngest still strapped in. I think the impact of a slightly nibbled loaf would have been very small in comparison to that. The crash was monumental; the whole shop fell silent. Luckily, no-one was hurt.

I have actually done it myself on a couple of occasions. Once, when heavily pregnant, I started feeling very faint and dehydrated half way round my weekly shop, so downed a smoothie, handing the empty bottle to the cashier with an apology. I'm sure she coped with the horror of it all. I really can't see the fuss, if you are paying before you leave the shop.

I never did it with my kids, wouldn't have even occurred to me.
It used to be very poor form to eat or drink in any shops, wherever you'd got it from.

It’s one of those things which is pretty normal IRL and goes completely unnoticed, but in MN land is akin to bank robbery or stealing a luxury car

It really is - but then again it is MN, and people on here have very strong opinions about things I do love a good MN froth, it’s better than any drama on telly.

Im actually not bothered if it’s lazy parenting tbh.
They are safe, in trolley, and I would rather finish shopping, pay and load car up without a toddler screaming in my ear and others in the supermarket. He does shopping with me 3-4 days a week, and doesn’t demand something every time.
He gets non lazy parenting the other 23 1/2 hours a day.

@SirChenjins

It’s one of those things which is pretty normal IRL and goes completely unnoticed, but in MN land is akin to bank robbery or stealing a luxury car

It really is - but then again it is MN, and people on here have very strong opinions about things I do love a good MN froth, it’s better than any drama on telly.

This is a froth that has been going on for about 20 years too

Yep. Every time. It takes me the length of time to sprint round Asda as it takes DD 16mo to eat an apple. From a multipack, which I pay for.
Can’t get worked up about it, she’s quiet, eating healthy food. An apple keeps her occupied much longer than a toy does. She loves to scream when she’s bored and secured in a trolley. Giving her an apple is absolutely the lesser of two evils.

Why wouldn't you just bring a snack for them?

Grapes in the supermarket seems like such innocent times

Whatever happened to "I'll get you a treat if you behave?" Why are people letting their NT kids kick off like this?

@SpilltheTea

Why wouldn't you just bring a snack for them?

“ Why wouldn't you just bring a snack for them?”

“ It used to be very poor form to eat or drink in any shops, wherever you'd got it from.”

The judgement on this thread is ridiculous. I don't even notice what other shoppers do or don't do when I'm at the supermarket - but maybe that's because I'm too busy shoving snacks at my toddler to prevent a meltdown 🤣

There really has @RichTeaRichTea - I’ve been on here for almost 20 years and there were similar threads back then! Fortunately the dire predictions of some posters back then have proved completely unfounded - phew!

@SpilltheTea cos I need to go shopping. We only do fruit for snacks in our house (small kids who are happy with this for now) and if I need to buy more fruit on big shop day then how can I bring with me?

Whatever happened to "I'll get you a treat if you behave?" Why are people letting their NT kids kick off like this?

My child isn't kicking off. I give her blueberries from a standing start of happy toddler because I like looking at silly, happy little blueberry eating face.

Is that better or worse in your mind?

Whatever happened to "I'll get you a treat if you behave?" Why are people letting their NT kids kick off like this?
Maybe eating trolley food IS the treat!

Shouldn’t we all support and not judge? I have children both with asd, and yes they find the supermarket overwhelming, however in my view I feel it’s good life skill for them. Click and collect might not be an option for those who can’t drive, or perhaps it’s just as difficult to put them in a car for a short journey. We do allow our kids to eat something on the way round, mostly because they are non-verbal and wouldn’t be able to understand the concept of paying. However over time it’s something they will grasp, but only by going into the supermarket. Surely if it makes the child’s and parents life a little easier, and they pay at the end, who are we to judge. Plus I’m pretty sure supermarkets would rather this then you leaving your full trolley in the shop as your child is screaming.
We get a lot more judgement if my asd child is screaming than if I open a bag of (scanned) crisps. We do take snacks, but it’s often what we don’t have is what they want.

I never did it and I hate seeing it.

Absolutely not! My daughter lost her dummy in the supermarket the other day so I went to the dummy aisle, chose one and went to pay for it at customer services and then opened it in front of them, gave her it and continued with my shopping. I would never have opened it (or let her eaten any of the shopping) prior to paying for it!

Only ever done this once.

I was heavily pregnant and the hot sausage rolls had just landed on the deli counter. I ate it walking round the supermarket, leaving a trail of puff pastry crumbs in my wake.

When I say heavily pregnant, I was at 40+4, and massive, my feet were so swollen I had to wear slippers. Scanned the empty packet through at the tills.

Was possibly the most delicious thing I've ever eaten.