Do you allow things to be eaten before paying?

[georgousbold]

In a supermarket etc

When I walk around, I do open something to keep DS quiet. Works a treat.

Nobody has ever told me off or questioned me on it

Is this the done thing in the UK? Can think of a few countries it would be allowed in and nobody would say anything

But you could never do that in Japan for example, South Korea either

Lazy parenting? Disgusting? Dear god I've not done it but I would if my child was throwing a fit! To the person who said food shouldn't be used to shut children up - I think giving them a cereal bar out of a box would be better than letting them scream and bother everyone else? I 100% use snacks as a distraction for my 17 month old, guess I'm a lazy parent!

Yes I’ve always done it to be honest and I cant get worked up about it. My friend uses it as evidence of my terrible middle class entitlement

I absolutely never allowed it.
I cant be arsed judging anyone. Its between them and the shop so none of my business.

It is seen as stealing, and there was a big hoo-ha about it in the UK before Covid happened. Lots of shops cracked down on it.
I have been stopped walking around a supermarket having given child a sandwich (and yes I'd paid for it before I started the rest of the shop so I did have a receipt. The security guard seemed quite disappointed) That was in Tesco.
However also before Covid (I don't know if they do this any more) they started having baskets of free fruit at the entrance of supermarkets - specifically to try and distract kids with healthy snacks.

Still let's hope everyone with the attitude of 'It isn't difficult to feed your child before going to the shop' then donates more to a food bank, campaigns to increase benefits and tries to understand a little more about children who are not NT. Some of my medical students and trainee GPs who have lived a privileged life start off being equally judgmental until then actually sit in some consults with the disadvantaged.

It wasn’t unusual when I worked in a supermarket for children to be given things to eat. None of the cashiers batted an eye, except when it was something obviously cheeky like bananas being sold by weight and they hand you the skin because the rest has been eaten.

I’ve never done it, but I would if I felt DD really needed some food. I can’t really imagine a situation where that would occur though.

No it's not really allowed in UK supermarkets but it happens anyway, and challenging this behaviour is likely to be met with abuse from the usual entitled "suspects"
Also another nasty habit is allowing older children to sit/stand in the trolleys, again abuse when challenged. Apart from being unhygienic it's also a health and safety issue.
I worked in a well known supermarket for years and the behaviour of some people could fill several Mn threads!!

My DD is 11… I never did, and at 11 she can wait… but it’s not something that would bother me….

And IME, my privileged NT adult acquaintances who are the most judgemental also profess to have excellent self control mostly though in practice tend not to concerning alcohol and food and marital fidelity. I can't help noticing but try not to judge them too.

No I don’t like it and didn’t do it when my children were young.

If a child can’t last the food shopping trip (30 mins-1 hour) then too bad, have snacks in the car for before or after.

I work In retail and have found lots of discarded food packets part eaten and packaging shoved to the back of shelves, seen people eat grapes that are weighed at checkout, the food is not your until you have paid for it.

You are not doing your children any favours teaching them these bad habits.

No , I don’t think it sets a good example to your child

One of the best things about having grown up children is being able to look back at all the small things you did that some other people (who obviously had too much time of their hands) judged you for and know for absolute certainty that none of it mattered. Your children will grow up to be well adjusted, polite individuals who hold down good jobs and have lovely friends and partners.

If anyone reading this thread is now feeling just a little bit shit about giving their child a packet of crisps on the way round the supermarket then please don’t - it doesn’t make you a thief and your children won’t grow up to be entitled or any of the other dire consequences predicted by some on MN. They will be absolutely fine, you’re doing a great job of parenting and Asda will continue making plenty of money in order to feed the cherubs of the next generation

It's just something we've never done. It would never have occurred to my kids to kick off wanting something in the trolley because I never offered. Toddler sized they were sitting in the seats facing me, bigger than that they were walking beside. They couldn't get at the stuff in the trolley.

No, being the supermarket isn't the most thrilling experience for anyone but you don't need to feed children to get them through it. But once you've done it once you're stuffed - because the child will expect it every single time.

I used to work on a checkout and would absolutely not care about this. I never, ever had half empty packets covered in toddler dribble handed to me.

Money is FAR dirtier than a packet that’s been handled by a toddler

I’m in the “never” camp. My DS is 20 months and a month or so ago had an almighty tantrum which lasted halfway round Aldi, because he wanted to open the cereal bars and I said no, we had to wait til we had paid. He understands what paying is. He had never been allowed a snack going round the shop before. He usually has one when I’m packing up the shopping because it’s his usual snack time anyway.

Not going to lie, it was awful. I ended up with him under one arm trying to load the conveyor belt while a lovely man took pity on me and helped. Yes, it was unpleasant. But I didn’t give in because that creates bigger problems. At least now he knows no means no. And also as a pp said he would want a bite out of everything in the trolley if he knew eating as we went round was a thing.

Also, my goal is not to never have a screaming or upset child. They are going to get upset at some times. They are learning. Hopefully the public in general understands this too!

Wouldn’t judge someone else though. Just made my decision and I’m happy with it!

@SirChenjins

One of the best things about having grown up children is being able to look back at all the small things you did that some other people (who obviously had too much time of their hands) judged you for and know for absolute certainty that none of it mattered. Your children will grow up to be well adjusted, polite individuals who hold down good jobs and have lovely friends and partners.

If anyone reading this thread is now feeling just a little bit shit about giving their child a packet of crisps on the way round the supermarket then please don’t - it doesn’t make you a thief and your children won’t grow up to be entitled or any of the other dire consequences predicted by some on MN. They will be absolutely fine, you’re doing a great job of parenting and Asda will continue making plenty of money in order to feed the cherubs of the next generation

Oh god this, absolutely this in spades

It’s one of those things which is pretty normal IRL and goes completely unnoticed, but in MN land is akin to bank robbery or stealing a luxury car.

No I don't but more because I don't use food as a pacifier/occupier, than because of supermarket rules.

This thread is making me want an umbongo and some haslet out of the packet.

#80sChild

I always used to silently judge it when I worked at the supermarket before I had kids, I’d never let mine do that etc.

Then I had kids, and merrily rip open whatever it is they want to gain silence whilst we shop. In my defence, I have feral twins, getting out of the house is a mission, and my organisation is shit despite trying to be better. I’m not proud of it, but I do it.

Feel free to judge away, I’m used to it

If you have a young and/or special needs child who is unable to manage sitting in the trolley for half an hour while you shop, wouldn't you just do click and collect, or get it delivered, or go when they're at school/preschool/with someone else?

I do get fed up the "what about". Its pretty obvious that the vast majority of people who do things like this aren't single full time working parents of 3 ASD children who can't afford the £25 limit of click and collect.

Yes I used to do this when DDs were little. Usually I'd take some kind of snack to keep them busy, but then the casher wonders whether you've bought it already, so actually something from the store, as long as it's not bought by weight or something which makes a mess is often easier.

My baby is still a newborn so not at the age where I would have to have done this yet but I don't think I would.

When I was younger (about 7yo) I remember going to the supermarket with my friend and her mum and her mum bought us some chicken nuggets and chips from the hot food/deli bit at the back and let us eat it on the way round and I was honestly shocked that we were allowed to do that as I know my mum never ever would have let us, it was something that until that point hadn't even crossed my mind as something that was a possibility!

Yes of course.
I live in a country where online food shops doesn’t exist, and I have 0 childcare or family to leave Ds with. So he has to come to every shop I go to.

Fortunately it’s a country someone above mentioned where children are liked in shops and often given things whilst shopping anyway by staff.
Yesterday Ds received a piece of soft pretzel from the bakery ( she just cuts up a few to give to toddlers), and in the supermarket ham from the deli counter whilst I was ordering was offered to him in trolley.

I don’t do it often, or a regular thing, but sometimes we get delayed, and I end up nipping into supermarket when he’s tired and hungry. I have also opened drink myself when I was pregnant and came over dizzy, and just told them at the till.

Serious question (no judgement).

Given the vast amount of MNetters who have issues with comfort eating/boredom eating, isn't handing kids food to keep them quiet or busy just encouraging that?

I've done it once, during the heatwave last year with a young baby and I felt like I was going to faint behind my mask. I just took a few sips of a cold drink I was buying before I bought it. Had loads of stuff to unload onto the conveyor belt and needed a drink before I could carry on. Would never do it normally though.