Anyone else's DC do 1.5-2 hours activities after school every day?

[StopThatClock]

How do you arrange things? Homework, time to relax... Do you make the child do chores or do you try to alleviate what you would otherwise expect of them? Tips to keep sane?

That seems like a lot!
Is this a teen doing an elite sport/dance/music, or an 8yo that keeps starting new things without dropping any of the old?

We got close to that at one-point between both kids and swimming club/competitive gym/guides etc. Before we realised it wasn't sustainable or great for our kids.

I think covid has helped people to reassess how much value there is in "programmed activity free" days. Is there some uou can cut down on? (Im assuming competitive gymnast at that many hours!?)

It is an awful lot for a child. I think orgamising meals was our biggest challenge (ended up cooked school meals and a "packed tea" eaten en route to somewhere and a bedtime snack some days, and snack before swimming and late supper others ...)

We also packed everything sunday - gym kits/swim kits etc so had uniforms and kit ready to go.

I wouldnt make them do chores no. They have a huge schedule and they need down time. I'd try and have a free evening a week they can just do their own thing, or failing that a large chunk of a weekend day. They need to have free time.

No way could my DD cope with that or could we as a family. She's in school 720-240. Home by 3.15.

It's important for her to relax, play, read. She wouldn't cope well with being frogmarched from activity to activity.

She does one extra curricular activity on a Friday.

One of mine has since the age of about 7 and now she is 15. Puts a huge strain on whole family. Maybe it will become her career or maybe just a lifetime interest. She has made some good friends from it and she is amazing at managing her time and has great self discipline but if I could turn back the clock I wouldn’t do it again. It Has impacted my other child. However my parents never let me do anything after school so I think I went too far the other way.

Every day is a bit much. How old are they? Don't they want down time or time to just meet a friend?

It only works since DD is older and most are in the early evening (6pm onwards) or Explorer which only starts at 7.45pm.

So, back from school, unwind and do homework. Then activity and on return dinner around 7.30pm. She still has over 1 hour before she goes to bed and often reads or listen to music.

We would like to drop one or two things but at the moment they are a release from her anxiety and we can see how much more relaxed she is when she comes back.

Saying that the weekend is free.

My youngest has activities 3 nights a week and both weekend days. However, she is collected straight from school everyday so has no time with a childminder or after school club. The activities are 30-60 minutes only.

My elder DC have an activity on Sunday and 3/4 nights in the week. This means they do 3 exercise sessions (swimming/football/tennis), 1 social activity and 1 tutoring session. Again it’s a lot but I think beneficial to be doing some structured exercise and again no after school care.

There have been some great threads on this in the past where people look back and wonder if it was worth it for loss of childhood/price was too high to pay - yet I know full well when you're in it it seems "normal" when the squad say you need an extra day or just an extra hour here or there. It gradually increases. I'm glad we got off the treadmill and like many in covid saw how much healthier it is when there is time yo be a family/breathe. But you dont really question it when those around you (other gym/swim mums) are doing the same!

If its a different activity every jught thats a different issue and I would definitely cut back.

How old is the child and what are they doing? Do they have siblings and what is the impact on them/you?

Tips
Don’t be over ambitious with meals.
We get ours to help in the garden as it’s a chore and also relaxing.

Yes but not every night. Ds is 13, he does clubs on Tuesday/ Wednesday/Thursdays. They are on the school site and finish at 6pm. He gets home at 6:30pm on those evenings. It’s still tricky with homework, shower, dinner. It doesn’t leave him much time to chill out on those evenings.

I’ve won’t agree to him doing anymore clubs or activities as he wants to do D of E next year so that will take up a lot of time too.

Mine did on and off from about school years 5 to 8. It was a massive juggle in some ways (eating, getting there and back etc) but they were really good at doing their homework (mostly afterwards, they preferred having downtime straight after school). It did help that both mine have always had fairly late bedtimes though. Chores during the week were confined to emptying DW in the morning, clearing table, putting laundry away etc. They were in control and gave things up if it got too much but on the whole they thrived on it and I'd do it again, they got so much out of it all. Definitely not frogmarched anywhere.

For us it's the combination of the kids' activities that's a struggle. After Covid, I said 'yes' to an awful lot because they'd missed out during the lockdowns. Between them, we have something every day. They do each have a free (ish - the 10yo still has after school club because we both work) weeknight. For us it's a lot of different activities - and the struggle is fitting in the evening meal without going mad.

Mine does.

He's 17 now and at college.

He's a swimmer so trains 2 mornings before college for 2 hours and evening evening 5-7 and then onto 8pm twice a week for gym training.

He's just managed it. If the reason for the number of hours is because the child is elite level and wants to go far they tend to find a way.

Almost 10 year old. Pre-Covid, did one sport once a week, three times a week for about 5 years had to sit in corridors waiting while other DC (SN) was in various therapy sessions. Stopped everything during Covid. Wanted to go back to sport, agreed, new age group trains twice a week. Also in school general sports club x1 (this would be first to go). Started another sport always wanted to do but could never do because of other DC's therapy sessions. Now been asked to join a second session. Started music last year too.
May well be overcompensating for Covid and before. But she has asked to do all this, it's definitely not a case of being dragged everywhere.

Nah. I'd refuse if DS asked to do that much.

DD6 does something every evening. (Boxing, Youth club on two separate nights, drama club and extra phonics one night at the school).
She's a little fire cracker though. Super sociable, super energetic, super easily bored.
It helps that everything is very close to home (either in a community centre on our estate, a boxing gym very nearby or at school where she is already!)
We do a little reading and writing practice in the morning before school, very quick and simple meals and I let her have the night off whenever she feels the need.
I guess it also helps that the youth club is fairly unstructured. It's just hanging out with her pals essentially. I don't think she feels especially pressured by any of it.
DS does similar (youth club, drama club and extra tuition) but it's a bit different for him as he's home educated so that's almost all the structured activity he gets. When he was at school he did much less in the evening as he needed the downtime.

DD2 swims 5 mornings a week and 1-2 afternoons. She’s 14 and she’s nicer after training. Less emotional, more focused. She prob has less time to get school work done as she goes to bed early but she’s also organised and very academic. She’s an intense child and if she has time away from the pool she struggles much more with emotion regulation. I’m tired though, the 445 starts are a killer.

It prob depends on the child. DS likes to come home and read or whatever but DD3 likes all the music and drama and also swims a bit. However, her after school week day activities are at school, so she’s done by 5. Homework is usually blitzed on a weekend afternoon but she’s 10 and doesn’t need much supervision.

That's far too much imo.
When do they get to do playdates, learn to entertain themselves, relax, do homework, spend time as a family?

Many children are in after school care until 6pm every day so really what’s the difference with those who do clubs of their choosing daily?

DS does 5 activities over 7 days and he loves them. With the exception of swimming lessons he is free to stop any of them.

@Twirldream

Many children are in after school care until 6pm every day so really what’s the difference with those who do clubs of their choosing daily?

DS does 5 activities over 7 days and he loves them. With the exception of swimming lessons he is free to stop any of them.

Differences

• no travel to ASC
• can in theory do h/w if desired
• don't need to focus/concentrate in ASC
• not physically super active
• get a snack

Extra curricular

• travel to/from
• eating potentially 'on the go'
• may be later than usual bedtime
• impacts rest of family too

Huge difference.

Asc less intense/less structure/pressure- get to come home and switch off and unwind.

Like the difference between doing an extra hour at work vs coming home and rushing out every evening. Huge difference!

We're less than 5 mins from school, so a quick journey home. The school club doesn't start til 630, so she has time at home before that.

I lift share for the club she currently goes to twice a week, so only need to do a late collection. They finish school at lunchtime on one of these days so has from lunch til 530pm to have play dates/whatever.

The other two days are most complicated for me and would be directly after school and we'd be home by 645. One clashes with DS's activity finish time and I'd have to bring her, take DS, wait for DS to finish and then she'd have to wait in the clubhouse (she would be allowed, the older kids have a session after, there's a seating area with sofa, drinks machine etc) until I can drive back.

The latest she's home is 820, that's only once a week and tends to go to bed without reading on that day.

I am a bit worried it will be too much for her. I've spoken to her teacher and asked her to keep an eye on her for the next couple of weeks and see if she thinks DD's is coping ok. I've said if her school work starts to suffer, she has to stop something.

I don't know, I don't think the ASC analogy is a bad one. Sure, it's less active/focused but I wouldn't say it's exactly downtime in the way that being at home is downtime. Also for kids that love their activities (and I guess if a child is doing that much, they really love them) then the activities are way more fun than ASC.

DD doesn't do something every day, and I'm glad she doesn't, but she does have long sessions when she's in. If someone had told me she would be doing that much a couple of years ago I would've said no way, but she adores it, comes home and wants to practice, wishes she could go more often... so we do it. I can see DS going the same way with his sport to be honest. But I also imagine a time will come when the hours do feel too much and that's going to be hard if the kids don't want to stop!

Did for a while. We knocked it on the head, they were exhausted.

Sorry OP I missed your update. I think given her age and that it doesn't make for late nights, I'd be okay with it. She's clearly a very athletic kid. But then I LOVE sport and do place a high premium on the kids being able to do sport.