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Original poster

Was I wrong to cut her hair

32 replies

Patbutchersarrow · 20/03/2022 21:08

So today I've had to treat my three dds hair for headlice again!! they have had them several times since December. My oldest and youngest are fairly easy to treat but my 6 year old has thick curly hair and screams at top volume when I try to brush it!! It's gotten really tangled it's really hard to manage as she gets so worked up when I try to brush it so today I cut it, I took quite a bit off and dh has gone mad at me says I'm stupid and cruel I feel awful she has beautiful hair but I just couldn't manage trying to delouse her every other week with it being so long was I in the wrong?

OP posts:
Easterbunnyiswindowshopping · 20/03/2022 21:09

Was he offering to get rid of the nits?
Imo he is a bloody nit!!

Original poster
Patbutchersarrow · 20/03/2022 21:16

Of course he wasn't, he's never done it so doesn't understand how difficult it is to get a nit comb through tangled hair . He's made me feel like some wicked step mother hacking off the princesses hair!!

OP posts:
gamerchick · 20/03/2022 21:18

No, I did the same with my daughter. Long hair is a pain with lice.

Turn over the comb to him. It's about time he learned.

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Beauty
RedWingBoots · 20/03/2022 21:19

Why are you brushing curly hair? Especially dry?

Of course the 6 year old will scream because you are pulling their hair out of their scalp.

Beamur · 20/03/2022 21:21

It's just hair! Better for your DD not to be lousey and have her hair tugged all the time.
Your DH needs to give his head a wobble. Short hair on girls is just fine. The stupid long hair trope is just dumb.
It's crueller to insist she has long hair because he thinks it looks better and hurt her by pulling the tangles.
(My DD had long curly hair which looked beautiful, now has a very short pixie crop which she loves!)

LittleOwl153 · 20/03/2022 21:22

Daddy's little princess is she?
Time daddy learnt to maintain her hair then... and whilst he's at it he needs to learn to treat the 3 of them equally

BarrowInFurnessRailwayStation · 20/03/2022 21:22

Urgh, what a horrible man. I hope your dd didn't hear his childish tirade. He's stupid and sexist as well. He wouldn't have gone mad at you cutting a ds' hair.

The hair is his responsibility from now on.

NotAScoobyToBeSeen · 20/03/2022 21:22

Your poor dd. Have you at least cut it nicely or does it look like a home job? Also do you have curly hair and know at all how to handle it? It probably wont matter now as once you cut it in the early years the curl will start to grow out

Iggly · 20/03/2022 21:23

Maybe learn how to handle curly hair?
My dd has super curly hair and I only brush when it’s sopping wet, drenched in conditioner and after finger combed it and then combed.

PragmaticWench · 20/03/2022 21:23

Please don't brush curly hair, it's really painful! No wonder she screams. Use only conditioner to wash it, no shampoo, and run your fingers gently through the hair to get knots out whilst the conditioner is in there.

Regularsizedrudy · 20/03/2022 21:24

So how her hair looks (!!) is important to him but bothering to do something about it when it’s invested with lice isn’t. Interesting

Xpologog · 20/03/2022 21:24

Brushing curly hair is a recipe for disaster. Have you tried one of these?
Also leave hair to dry naturally after combing, don’t use a hairdryer.
And hand the nit shampoo, combs, towels etc.. to DH and leave him to it….

Was I wrong to cut her hair
Original poster
Patbutchersarrow · 20/03/2022 21:25

Did I say it was dry? I was using a tangle teaser it was wet with conditioner in.

OP posts:
Iggly · 20/03/2022 21:28

@Patbutchersarrow

Did I say it was dry? I was using a tangle teaser it was wet with conditioner in.
You have to start with the ends and use your fingers to tease out the big knots. Not jump straight to one of those.
CamdenLurker · 20/03/2022 21:31

How do you remove nits from curly hair without using a nit comb then?

My dd1 has thick and curly hair, nuts were a nightmare- I’d have to saturate her hair with lyclear and it took hours to go through each section with a nitty gritty comb.

I sympathise op - it’s bloody awful!

BunnyFree · 20/03/2022 21:31

Don't feel bad, OP. When my DD was about 3 years old she also had headlice and I cut her hair (curly and fine) as she jumped around and refused to let me comb out the lice properly. It was a really uneven job but her nursery teacher thought I had had it specially cut in a modern crop style and complimented me on finding a great hairdresser! DD was fine, the hair cut seemed to thicken her hair and she now has long glossy thick locks down to her waist in her late teens. Plenty of time to grow it later Smile

Blossom64265 · 20/03/2022 21:31

It all depends on how your 6yo felt about having her hair cut. My own 6yo had very strong opinions about her hairstyle by that point and so do many other children of that age. If you didn’t give her a choice, then I agree with your husband, it’s bordering on monstrous. If you explained that she could try a new cut, it would make hair care easier, and let her know about how long it would take to get back to her current length if she didn’t love the new look, then no big deal.

Original poster
Patbutchersarrow · 20/03/2022 21:33

I leave it to dry naturally and don't use a hair dryer I have the same hair. It's neat you can't tell I've cut it myself we have hairdressing scissors and I often trim dds hair.

OP posts:
cigarettesNalcohol · 20/03/2022 21:35

@Patbutchersarrow

Of course he wasn't, he's never done it so doesn't understand how difficult it is to get a nit comb through tangled hair . He's made me feel like some wicked step mother hacking off the princesses hair!!
He sounds patriarchal - does he own her ? Does he spend time getting rid of the nits, washing, brushing, drying and styling her hair regularly ? Does he get to decide how her hair should be ? Does he believe girls should have long hair ? Does he live in the 1920's ? He has no right to make you feel bad. Tell him to get a fucking grip. It grows back!
Original poster
Patbutchersarrow · 20/03/2022 21:37

No, I explained it was tangled and needed to be cut so I could get the nits out she knew I would need to cut it. she cried after though that's why I feel awful but leaving her lousy would be worse.

OP posts:
2DogsOnMySofa · 20/03/2022 21:42

It's hair, it will grow back.

My dd has a sensitive scalp and she hates having her hair brushed, i cut it short after yet another battle with her. I don't blame you for cutting it, if your dh has an issue maybe he should be the one having to treat the nits and brushing it in future

SomePosters · 20/03/2022 21:42

Hark at the muppets who don’t read the post saying you shouldn’t comb it!

Give him nit combing duties and go out for a few hours

cigarettesNalcohol · 20/03/2022 21:43

@NotAScoobyToBeSeen

Your poor dd. Have you at least cut it nicely or does it look like a home job? Also do you have curly hair and know at all how to handle it? It probably wont matter now as once you cut it in the early years the curl will start to grow out
People commenting this sort of thing are missing the point. The child kept getting lice and op is left to deal with it every time. Curly hair or not, getting rid of lice on long hair is a pain. Hence why op cut it. Don't feel bad op. It's really not the end of the world or your biggest problem. The sexist husband is the bigger issue here. As for the curls, plenty of time to learn how to care & cut curly hair properly before it grows out.
Theunamedcat · 20/03/2022 21:47

Yes he needs to learn to de nit her hair it needs doing every few days so his job next time

Cocomarine · 20/03/2022 21:48

Your husband doesn’t get a say if he doesn’t any of the work.
Your daughter does though. I still remember having my hair cut short aged 8 because my parents were fed up of dealing with nits.
Honestly, I do remember that every time I’ve dealt with my own daughter’s long hair and nits.
They took it from hair way down my back to effectively a “boy’s” cut though, so that does sound more extreme than the cut you’ve done.