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Original poster

Twins only- have you ever not liked being a twin?

42 replies

Twinstimes2 · 20/03/2022 20:06

I would love to hear from other twins only.
I am a twin and to be honest have always felt it was pretty inconsequential to my life as I have a twin sister but also have 3 other sisters very close to age so my twin sister always just felt like one of ‘my sisters’.
I also now have twins of my own (6 year old boy/girl twins). They love being twins and have an in built best friend.

I wonder has anyone had any bad experiences of being a twin themselves?

OP posts:
Ozmi · 20/03/2022 20:48

My mil hated her twin.

Cyw2018 · 20/03/2022 20:51

DH is a twin and he has always been absolutely adament we were only ever having one child. Make of that what you will.

Itstheprinciple · 20/03/2022 20:54

@Cyw2018

DH is a twin and he has always been absolutely adament we were only ever having one child. Make of that what you will.
What would have happened if you had twins?

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Families
BeanStew22 · 20/03/2022 20:57

I’m a twin & would prefer not to be: it has really impinged on my ability to have my own space/be my own person

Cherryblossoms85 · 20/03/2022 20:57

How would I know any different? We're identical and have no other siblings. I think sometimes it can be hard when we argue and I wish her life was more similar to mine. It's sometimes depressing not to share the same experiences.

ClandestineAdulation · 20/03/2022 20:59

There are a few things I dislike about it so I’ll list them!

Being referred to as ‘one of the twins’
Being asked ‘are you identical’ when my twin is male…
Other people assuming things and asking stupid questions
Missing out on things if my brother misbehaved as a child - if he got toys taken away then I would too so he couldn’t play with them!
Having to share a birthday cake!
I think we both missed out on things growing up (from a financial perspective) and that wouldn’t have necessarily happened if I was a line child, like big holidays for example, as 2 kids at the same time meant double the cost!

Michellexxx · 20/03/2022 21:22

I dislike some aspects..agree with the ‘one of the twins’ comment above.
Sharing absolutely everything was annoying, getting the same presents, but different colours was annoying. Also eldest of 5 girls and we were almost second mothers to them; handier because of a 6 year age gap between us and third child, obviously increased with each sibling.
I do think there’s also been an internalised competitiveness to stand out- who was married first etc. I really dislike that.
But, we’re very close and I’m lucky to have a twin, mainly because our parents weren’t very good at all. Which could have something to do with above issues!

ClandestineAdulation · 20/03/2022 21:31

Oh, I will add to this…

I don’t think the twin is the issue, I think it’s how other people treat you as a twin if that makes sense.

My brother does my head in sometimes but we have a great relationship and can be honest with each other, he comes to me with any issues and we’re usually the first person the other ones tells when there’s news, good or bad!

Featherfox · 20/03/2022 21:33

I think always being compared to one another isn’t pleasant. People seem to not comprehend that whilst we look the same we are two individual people who have different ambitions and aspirations. Constantly being compared to who has the bigger house, the better job, even down to who is the “better looking one” Confused gets tiring.

AtleastitsnotMonday · 20/03/2022 21:40

I love it. My sister’s my rock. Love her to bits, talk to her everyday (often several times). When things go wrong she is the best at reassuring me.
We enjoy each other’s company and pretty much always have done.
We’d fall out from time to time as kids but nothing major and everything would be resolved by bedtime.
There’s a definite security in knowing she’s always got my back and me hers.

Quornflakegirl · 20/03/2022 21:46

It’s a unique relationship, my girls are deeply close, it’s very obvious to see but at the same time they’re very individual. Not having the same face helps a lot.

Riverlee · 20/03/2022 21:53

Especially when being a teenager, hated the fact that no one knew whether they were talking to me or my sister. I didn’t dislike my sister, just disliked no one really knowing me.

I do think that being a twin was the single biggest influence on my life.

However, generally speaking it’s been a positive experience and can be good fun at times.

peridito · 20/03/2022 22:41

Must be a very different experience if you're identical I think .

I'm the female in a boy /girl set of twins .I didn't like it at primary school ,I'm a needy attention seeker .
Always felt responsible for him ,but I think that was due to being youngest in a large competitive family .
But I have grown up always worrying about others to an extent that I think is unhealthy .

Lurking9to5 · 20/03/2022 22:50

I know twins who love each other as you'd expect but one seems to find life and conventional success easier, and the other twin feels a bit "shamed" by the comparison, feels others see them as in competition and her.... not winning .
They might upset each other less if they were just sisters

BluebellsGreenbells · 20/03/2022 23:09

I have twins. We never spoke about it until they were much older.

They had friends in infant school - and teachers that didn’t realize they were twins!

They had their own birthday parties, invited their own friends and had their own cakes!

Went to big comp - different bands so never really taught by the same teacher. Only had one class together and the teacher didn’t know they knew each other let alone were related!

I don’t think it’s impacted them really.

MogHog · 21/03/2022 06:14

I'm a twin, boy/girl. I'm no closer to my brother than other brothers and sisters I know, in fact we barely have a relationship these days, not through falling out just through lack of effort on both sides.
Growing up it was awful. Constantly compared to each other and we are polar opposite so it's grated a little. We are always introduced as the others twin too..so I was say Peters twin and he Sharon's twin, never introduced by our own names, not by our parents but it just seemed like everyone else would do it..no a problem so much these days but it does still happen.

LassoOfTruth · 21/03/2022 06:26

I have an identical twin. We don’t always get along but we’re close and I’d consider her my best friend. Not sure if that’s any different to most sisters! The difference is how others treat you: stupid questions about whether you can dream the same dreams or if you fought over the same boys at school or if you can read each other’s thoughts. Relatives and teachers who couldn’t be arsed to learn who was which - our names interchangeable because we’re just “the twins”. We’re actually very different and always have been. We just laugh at it, doesn’t bother me much these days.

NoFriendsNoEnemies · 21/03/2022 06:32

I’m not a twin but I knew a set of identacle twins who dated the same girl at university, and she didn’t know. Shock.

Cedarfire · 21/03/2022 07:13

I’m probably a little bit closer to my twin brother than my other siblings but that could just be similar personalities. It’s pretty inconsequential for the most part, although I do get slightly irked having to buy him a present and a card in the days before MY birthday 😆

prettyteapotsplease · 22/03/2022 16:02

I'm a non-identical twin. We've different hobbies, reading/musical tastes, sense of humour, hair/clothing styles/colours. I loathed being made to wear the same things as a child.

Being constantly compared was annoying and at school a teacher even called us 'twin' which took away one's much needed individuality. At work it was good to be treated as an individual for a change instead of half a pair.

The noisy one is noticed more as they simply draw more attention to themselves. "Why can't you be more like your sister?" I'm braver now and call her out on her crap with as much diplomacy as I can muster.

I couldn't live with her - but she is my sister. She'd call it a love-hate relationship but it goes much deeper than that. Beneath the polite surface there's a fair amount of resentment on both sides which is kept hidden. Well, you did ask!

Redlorryyellowlorryblue · 22/03/2022 16:28

Pros and cons. Growing up meant a double wardrobe and music collection but I resented having to share so much as my parents could only afford only 1 of certain items.

I’m identical and hate people looking at us when we are together.

Some people would get us one present between us at school birthday parties - that sucked. We are 2 people.

ChiefAdjusterOfRubensShorts · 22/03/2022 17:04

My siblings are twins and extremely close and very involved in each other’s lives.

It looks very claustrophobic to me.

Dontbeamugallyourlifesucker · 22/03/2022 17:34

Identical twin here.. Not spoke to her in years.. Chark and cheese.. Would care if I never saw her again and the feeling will be mutual.

Twilightstarbright · 22/03/2022 19:47

I'm the female in a boy /girl set of twins .I didn't like it at primary school ,I'm a needy attention seeker .
Always felt responsible for him ,but I think that was due to being youngest in a large competitive family .
But I have grown up always worrying about others to an extent that I think is unhealthy

@peridito this really resonated with me.

I love my brother but nothing was ever my own- GCSE/A level results day was always about sorting out his grades and never about celebrating my success. Sharing toys, being treated as a unit. The constant comparisons.

I did like that things were fair though- same bedtime, pocket money etc.

CAJIE · 29/12/2022 17:22

Learn to spell.Being a twin has f......ed up my life. That is not an exaggeration