Twins only- have you ever not liked being a twin?

[Twinstimes2]

I would love to hear from other twins only.
I am a twin and to be honest have always felt it was pretty inconsequential to my life as I have a twin sister but also have 3 other sisters very close to age so my twin sister always just felt like one of ‘my sisters’.
I also now have twins of my own (6 year old boy/girl twins). They love being twins and have an in built best friend.

I wonder has anyone had any bad experiences of being a twin themselves?

A bit off-topic but I saw an account on Instagram of identical twin sisters who married identical twin brothers. They have babies born at the same time who look identical. They all live in the same house and wear matching clothes. So obviously get on well 😁

Until one of them wakes up one day and thinks I'm me first and not part of the super self

That all sounds rather draining, to be honest 😉

I'm one half of a mirror twin ( 1 in 5 million sets of identical twins are mirrors )
Me and my mirror are very close, but not to the exclusion of other people. We always had our own individual friends.
Our parents would never refer to us as ' the twins ' and wouldn't allow others to either. We were either referred to by our names or ' the girls '
We had and still do have individual birthday / Christmas presents and cakes etc. Our parents always ensured that we were treated as individuals in our own right.
It's great for choosing clothes and hairstyles, you can see it on your mirror from all angles before buying.
We've never not liked being a twin, but that's mainly due to our parents not allowing us to be treated as one rather than two.

I have twin brothers

im the eldest (only girl) a brother then ‘the twins’

people would get them mixed up,compare them and they where treated as one person rather than x and y

(as children they had their own language,knew when the other was hurt and where as close as ‘normal’ brothers but never seemed to have that twin bond)

my mother was having none of this-she hated it-they where never known as ‘the twins’ they had their own friends,parties,toys,clothes-the list goes on

sounds good,but they where never allowed to just be twins-they where their own person and to a point I agree,but she totally destroyed their ‘twin’ bond

they hate each other-they can’t be in the same room together for longer than an hour and that’s pushing it-they’ve been known many times to put each other in hospital

my fil was a twin (he lost his twin in 1978-fil died in 2021) they where almost one
person who led different lives,in different countries as adults but my mil says they had a very strong bond and it destroyed him-he was never the same

he put it as ‘half of me died that day’

It has blighted my life

This.

We're very close but unhealthily dependant on each other sometimes despite both having our own families.

Wish that we'd been put in different classes at school so we have the opportunity before uni to forge more individual paths and friendship groups. As the less outgoing twin I feel particularly impacted by this decision.

That said it is quite handy to go clothes shopping with someone who looks the same as you so that you can really get an idea so what the clothes will look like!

My dh hated being a twin. They never got on and as adults went for years without speaking.

I think it makes a difference if you are same sex. My twins are boy/girl, and there was a little bit of commentary when very little "who will walk first, who will talk first" etc, which has kind of petered out now, because he's very much into cars and nothing else and she's obsessed with bugs in the garden, and he tears everywhere on his bike, and she is always on the trampoline. There's very little they like that the other does, so people don't really compare them doing the same thing. If you didn't know they were twins you would never guess they were.

My best friends at school were identical girls (not that identical if you ask me lol) but they were constantly compared. And it's caused issue growing up. One feels the other was always the "pretty one" and has big self esteem issues. The "pretty one" was always pipped to the post with exam results by her sister, and is always self deprecating that she is the "thick one". It's really impacted their relationships.

I love being a town. But I did hate always being compared to each other. No identical here and needless comments about who was prettier growing up etc. I think this led to confidence issues in my sister.

We have a special bond however despite being totally different people

I've never had a day that's just for me.

I'm an identical twin with no other siblings so it is all I have ever known. The curiosity from others does annoy me at times as I feel if I can't confirm that we read each others thoughts then I am disappointing the person asking. Therefore actually feel a bit boring.

Growing up I was the more talkative, confident, (not hugely confident but just more so than my twin) and academic twin. Wasn't a genius by any stretch but felt I was never allowed to be outwardly pleased about what I had achieved in case it upset my twin. Think GCSE results and the like. My parents would ask me not to mention a success I had achieved to protect my twin. Still feels like they protect my twin now. I love my twin and we do get on well but sometimes I would have liked a little bit of support rather than always being the supporter. Ironically it made me very independent and resilient though. I suppose the above scenario plays out with normal siblings too just perhaps not at the same time through significant stages of life.

This rings so true with me too.
Non identical girls but a level of competition that was created in part by our parents.
We barely speak now.

Interesting thread. Another example of Mumsnet reading my mind.
Was stood in a long Primark queue this morning behind 2 sets of identical schoolgirl twins (friends with each other, separate families ) pondering all of this

Would love to have been a twin. I think 🤔

Why have you resurrected such an old thread?

I used to feel special when we were kids.

As we got older I always looked out for my twin. But my twin never had my back or looked out for me. I always excused him because I loved him and thought we had a bond. Turned out it was all on me.

It's taken many years to finally realise the only person he cares about is himself and only pulled the twin card when he wanted something from me. His recent behaviour has been quite treacherous snd heartbreaking.

Maybe one day he'll regret what he lost.

It's all I've ever known. I think it has advantages, mostly, but it's probably not that healthy psychologically. I am the controlling twin, but outwardly most people think she is the big personality with all the confidence. She's not at all. She has nothing because i sometimes took it all. All the exam success, the looks (we're identical but I was very thin), the job, the kids, the house. She's never progressed through these life stages, somehow. I dunno.