Feeling total fear right now

[Blackberryjamtart]

This is my first post, I hope I’ve posted in the correct place. I tried to find a mental health section but couldn’t see one.

I’m really not coping well with what’s happening in the world right now. In fact I’m paralysed with fear. All this talk of nuclear war is causing me multiple panic attacks and I just can’t function. Stupidly I made the mistake of researching about it and of course scared myself much more.

I have a young son who is full of the joys of life and every time I look at him I start crying. I have to hide my tears.
I want to protect him, to give him a long and happy life and it feels like all this could be taken away in an instant at the moment.

This morning for the first time I’m feeling suicidal, the thought of seeing my child scared and there being nothing I can do about it is haunting me daily. We live rurally so we wouldn’t be in the main blast zone, we’d be in the fall out which I keep reading is a much worse place to be.

Please be kind I’m struggling so much. I also have autism so I find most things hard anyway.

Hope I don’t upset anyone with my post. I don’t know if you use trigger warnings in these forums.

Stop watching the news or reading on line about it, seriously. You'll find it much easier to cope.

Contact your GP today and tell them how you are feeling.

I really feel for you - I suffer hugely with anxiety, and know how this kind of thing can really trigger it. But try to remind yourself that there's nothing at all you can do - it's completely beyond your control. Despite which, I think it's extremely unlikely.

How old is your son? I remember such feelings when mine were young babies, feeling I'd brought them into an awful, dangerous world. Might you have PND?

We're not in any immediate danger of war or nuclear annihilation, OP, try not to dwell on that. I agree with PP that you should probably talk to your GP about how you're feeling.

Hi @Blackberryjamtart I'm so sorry to hear about your struggles. I've been worried too, I'm sure lots of people are so you're not alone.

What previous posters have said already is great advice - you are absolutely allowed to switch off the news. In olden times we wouldn't have had so much information thrown at us on a minute by minute basis as we do now, and I'm sure it's not great for our mental health. The news also in general focuses on negative stories as these are the ones that sell papers.

What is happening in Ukraine is really scary, I won't pretend it isn't. But what you could maybe try to remember is that the likelihood of any nuclear war actually taking place is still very slim, and luckily we are not directly impacted by the war here. Your child is very likely to grow up to enjoy a long and happy life. I'm not trying to minimise how you're feeling, just offering some perspective in case it's helpful. Reading too much online can make it easy to fall into a bit of a rabbit hole and make things feel worse than they are.

Please, please speak to your GP. They will be able to help with tools, techniques and perhaps some form of therapy or CBT so that you can get better and enjoy your time with your child again.

Wishing you all the best and sending warm hugs your way. You've got this xxx

Stop looking at the news and stop looking anything related to Ukraine etc.

Get out in the fresh air and have a nice long walk.

Try to think "I have no control over what happens (with regards to war) so there's no point worrying about it".

It is highly, highly unlikely we are going to get nuked. Even if putin wanted to do it (which I don't believe for one minute he does) he would have to go through a whole group of high-ranking officials beforehand. Why would these people want to nuke our country knowing it would mean their own country being obliterated in retaliation?
It doesn't make sense.

The media are hyping everything up at the moment to sell papers, much as they did with covid.

Try to think about the ulterior motives behind why they may be doing this.

I know what you mean about children- our children when they are young are so lucky they don't have to worry about world events. I remember when my dd was little and we'd just got back from a toddler class and it was 7-7 - turned on the news and it was full of emergency services - she just said neenawneenaw like the sound they make. I was concerned as my husband was in London and I couldn't get him on the phone.
Anyway what I'm trying to say is the world is a big and scary place but focus on your DC. Their innocence is so lovely.
Others can advise on what help you can/ should get/ how you can help yourself

Please stop watching any news. Remove news apps. Just watch happy stuff - kids Tv, that sort of thing. There’s nothing we can do about any of it anyway (well I mean we can help with housing refugees and providing donations, but we can’t stop the war).

Hi OP
We can see you're having a really hard time of it at the moment. We hope you don't mind but we wanted to drop by with a few links to resources that you might find helpful. Here are our Mental Health resources. You can also go to the Samaritans website, or email them on [email protected]

Support from other Mumsnetters is great and we really hope you will be able to take some comfort from your fellow posters, but as other MNers will tell you, if you are really struggling it's really a good idea to seek real-life help and support as well.

Some further support links:
Mind: Tips for everyday living
Mind: Mental wellbeing
NHS: Improve your mental wellbeing
Mental Health Foundation: Tips to look after yourself during scary world events

Very best wishes from MNHQ.

Step away from the news and media. I’ve had to do this to a degree to protect my own hard won stable mental health. You can’t control this situation, but you can control how you react to it

Please contact the samaritan on the MN link as well as your Dr
It is all certainly overwhelming at the moment but there is a huge amount of humanity out there too.
Sending you a massive hug

Hello, I hate to hear how much you’re struggling. Please do make sure you speak to somebody like your doctor. Just talking might help.

The news will heighten your anxiety, I have to shut off from it too. Please limit yourself. It is hard for anyone to take it continuously every day.

Remember you are everything to your son and to look after him you have to look after yourself. Mums are strong. You can do it. This talks about limiting the news and helping yourself as well as your child

sashabrady.com/how-to-talk-to-your-child-about-the-ukraine-war/

Sending lots of love. You’re not alone and it’ll all be ok x