Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

How are you/ are you taking to your children about economising?

33 replies

LadyCatStark · 16/03/2022 17:09

I hate that I’m going to have to, but I think I am going to have to explain the cost of living crisis to DS (12) and the need to economise as we’re not going to be able to afford life much longer. We’re very lucky that we’ve always managed and managed to shield him from knowing when times were tough.

We’ve already discussed the energy crisis and the need to turn things off when not in use etc but he goes out more on his own now and is (rightly or wrongly) used to spending what he likes (not excessively).

Tonight, I met him off his school bus with the dog and he was grumpy as he’d been on a school trip all day and was hungry. I said he could pop into the shop and get something to eat and some buns for the burgers for tea and he’s blown nearly a tenner on crap!

I have to admit I was a bit cross which was probably an over reaction but I just feel that all of my head space is taken up with worrying about money and trying to economise and it feels so stressful.

I don’t want to scare or worry him but I do want to explain that things are very expensive at the moment and we have to be a bit careful. What are/ have other people said to their children?

OP posts:
User76745333 · 16/03/2022 17:16

Mine are a bit older at 14 and 16 but I’ve just been very frank with them about prices rising and watching electricity usage etc.

12 is year 8 presumably. That’s not a baby. I’d just tell him everyone needs to be careful not to waste money,

GeneLovesJezebel · 16/03/2022 17:19

Yes, if he’s in high school he just needs to be told how it is.
And next time you give him money, tell him how much he can spend !

Hospedia · 16/03/2022 17:20

I don’t want to scare or worry him but I do want to explain that things are very expensive at the moment and we have to be a bit careful

Exactly this.

My younger DC aren't particularly bothered about money but my older DC are big enough to understand that money isn't infinite and that it's sensible to be choosy about how you spend it. They know that essentials such as food will always be prioritised and that if they want to have nice things like cinema trips or mobile phones or after school activities then that comes with spending decisions elsewhere.

A couple of weeks ago they wanted bubble tea and the shop I took them in wanted £6 for a small one, over four DC that would have been £24 or even £30 if I wanted one. I would normally get them as a treat but they'd already been bowling and had gotten a new book each on the way past Waterstones. I told them that it was too much and took them in Sainsbury's instead where they chose a sweet and a drink each plus a bag of bakery cookies to share with change back from a tenner. I explained to my older two that for just over the cost of one drink in that other shop we'd bought four drinks plus sweets and cookies by choosing to spend it elsewhere.

It doesn't have to be a sit down talk about money and spending, it can just be part of general every day conversation and observations.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Cost of living Families
Hospedia · 16/03/2022 17:23

Does he get pocket money too? That can be a good way of learning about money especially if you're firm about "when it's gone, it's gone so don't ask for more". My older DC will offer to do jobs in the house too for money which helps to put it in context of "you'd have to wash the dishes for three days in a row to pay for that" or "you'd have to weed the whole front garden to pay for those".

ImAvingOops · 16/03/2022 17:30

You m telling mine to turn lights/plug switches off and not to leave the heating on all day. That's about it though.
I have started programming the washing machine to come on at night (eco 7 cheap(er) rate) and not having radiators on all the time. Hopefully that won't have too much of an impact on their lives

Original poster
LadyCatStark · 16/03/2022 17:33

Thanks everyone, yes he is old enough to understand and he does catch some of the news. I’m just too soft! Yes @Hospedia he does get pocket money which he spends some of in town after school once a week and saves some for bigger purchases. I gave him my phone to pay so he didn’t know what he could spend to be fair and I think he got carried away because he was hangry.

OP posts:
caringcarer · 16/03/2022 18:36

I have told 15 year old with additional needs to switch lights off when leaving room if no-one else still in room.

mishmased · 16/03/2022 20:58

Two weeks ago mine 6.5 and 9 were getting ready for world book day. Eldest decided to be Miles Morales (Spider-Man) and youngest decided same. Got hoodie/T-shirt/jacket. Then eldest decides he wants a Spider-Man mask that cost €30, so €60 in total as I can't buy for one and not the other. I said nope not spending my money on that. He pipes up 'well we'll spend ours'. So I paid for it and when we got home he gave me €60 from their piggy bank. The look of shock on his face when he realised the impact of the loss of €60 from his kitty was priceless 🤣
Moral lesson from me 'money doesn't grow on trees' 😂😂
DH said that was mean of me but I think it is a perfect way to learn that you don't have to buy everything. And of course once the excitement wore off it has been sitting on the landing for more than a week.

Newnormal99 · 16/03/2022 21:13

My DD is 14 and when I went to talk about it she told me firmly their teacher at school had already been telling them abs she knew!

Original poster
LadyCatStark · 16/03/2022 21:26

@Newnormal99 bless her, she sounds a sensible girl!

OP posts:
thecatsthecats · 16/03/2022 21:30

My dad was facing redundancy when I was 10.

My mum talked to us about what it might mean, and asked us for ideas of things we could save money on. Instead of being scared of it or being told that we couldn't have things any more, we got a degree of choice in giving up things we chose to.

JustOneCornett0 · 16/03/2022 22:59

Maybe I'm scarring my kids for life. I mention money regularly. I get them to make choices and insist some stuff is for them to spend their cash on. I offered a fiver for WBD costumes and said they would need to put in the rest if they wanted something new. They can be very savvy I notice when it's their own money.

My oldest has ASD. I'm trying to build up their skills and financial know how.

So I've told them they are going to pay a small amount towards the electricity bill (in the hope that this will get them to turn off lights)

I point out skills like computing and languages which will enable them to earn money in future.

JustOneCornett0 · 16/03/2022 23:01

OP I hear you on stuff like this. It feels like such a waste of cash. Mine would be happy to do this too.

"Tonight, I met him off his school bus with the dog and he was grumpy as he’d been on a school trip all day and was hungry. I said he could pop into the shop and get something to eat and some buns for the burgers for tea and he’s blown nearly a tenner on crap!"

Romeiswheretheheartis · 16/03/2022 23:52

I've been talking to my dd (14) for quite a few years about our need to economise (single parent, low income). She's very aware of costs, and that I don't have spare cash for things, and she regularly sells some of her clothes, books etc online with no input from me. I think its good for kids to know if money's tight and they can't just be bought whatever they want.

PinkSyCo · 17/03/2022 00:04

Why do you hate that you’re going to have to discuss economising with your DS? He’s 12 years old and seemingly has no idea about money. It’s about time he learned quite honestly. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Ozanj · 17/03/2022 00:13

The issue there isn’t about economising. The issue is that you gave a child a tenner to buy ‘something’ to eat without specifying. Next time tell him straight up you can only get a sandwich or a bag of crisps etc. Or better still role model and bring him snacks from home in case he gets peckish after school.

In terms of talking to kids about money, yes you should do it, but kids especially teens are selfish buggers. So they won’t necessarily dial in unless it impacts him. Give him pocket money weekly and make him budget all his tiny / everyday expenses from it. He will make a few mistakes at first but will eventually get better at it.

Lightning020 · 17/03/2022 04:23

I started telling ds from the age of 12 how important it is to budget wisely. He is now 17. To be honest it has done him good and he manages his pocket money very well. Please do not think you are failing your child if they are taught to budget and save. We are in fact teaching them a valuable lesson. Though until they are secondary school age they wont be able to learn this.

cstx89 · 17/03/2022 04:32

@mishmased

Two weeks ago mine 6.5 and 9 were getting ready for world book day. Eldest decided to be Miles Morales (Spider-Man) and youngest decided same. Got hoodie/T-shirt/jacket. Then eldest decides he wants a Spider-Man mask that cost €30, so €60 in total as I can't buy for one and not the other. I said nope not spending my money on that. He pipes up 'well we'll spend ours'. So I paid for it and when we got home he gave me €60 from their piggy bank. The look of shock on his face when he realised the impact of the loss of €60 from his kitty was priceless 🤣 Moral lesson from me 'money doesn't grow on trees' 😂😂 DH said that was mean of me but I think it is a perfect way to learn that you don't have to buy everything. And of course once the excitement wore off it has been sitting on the landing for more than a week.
Love this! Well done u!
Graphista · 17/03/2022 04:47

Wow! The privilege some have been enjoying until now!

Money was always tight in my home while dd was growing up so she learned from a young age that she couldn't have all she desired.

I don't think that's a bad lesson to learn in general

I also taught her from a fairly young age not to be sucked in by marketing and to double check the prices of "special offers" etc

Now that some of you are having to address the finite nature of resources with your dc I think it would be a good idea to address such matters with them

Teach them why branding is designed to make us spend more, why sm is full of ads etc

I also taught dd how to upcycle clothes etc

It’s about time he learned quite honestly.

I agree with this

Burnt0utMum · 17/03/2022 07:00

Kids should be taught the value of money from as young an age as possible. Mine are 7 and 6. We're not struggling and can buy treats whenever we want really but I still instill in my kids that we need to be careful not to waste money. We buy mostly own brand in the supermarket as the difference is negligible in quality but I show them the different prices eg. we can get 2 own brand items for the same price as 1 branded item. Try to avoid buying in the corner shop as it's more expensive. I've told them about energy bills increase and that we need to try to turn things off when not using them. It prepares them for real life and will help them in the long term.

YouWereGr8InLittleMenstruators · 17/03/2022 07:57

Instill in him that shops are for the weekly shop. Not for popping in to buy snacks when he's already on the way home, and can have a snack at home.
As a pp said, bring a snack for him when you pick him up. DD1 gets hangry too, but I've told her it is a sensation in the body that will pass and that she can hold off until we get home. I bring a small snack like a box of raisins to plug the gap until we get home.
And at 12, you can be really straight with him.

MrsPear · 17/03/2022 08:03

I think I’ve scarred my boys for life. They know money doesn’t grow on trees and I’ve never been afraid to say no I don’t have the money when they ask for more crap. My eldest has asked if he has to give up football after he read about the energy bills - I said no we have not reached that point.

Original poster
LadyCatStark · 17/03/2022 08:04

I hate that I have to talk to him about it as I hate the whole situation. I feel so bleak about the future and I don’t want to make him feel the same. It’s not just about incidental spending, it’s explaining to him that no, we can’t have days out anymore, we can’t have the heating on, we can’t buy new clothes. Yes, we’re working harder than ever. Yes, some days you don’t even get to see your dad because he’s working until after you’ve gone to bed and yes, I’ve taken on a second job so I’m not around on some evenings but no, that doesn’t mean we have more money to spend, everything has to go on bills.

It’s all so bleak and worrying and I just want to make sure I explain it to him in the right way. He does get pocket money and he does budget for the things he wants. He does understand that we have to work hard for what we have and that he will in future too but I don’t want him to think it’s all for nothing, which it is right now.

OP posts:
cakeorwine · 17/03/2022 08:33

Luckily I don't have too make too many cutbacks - but I have told DS to cut down his shower time as that will make an impact on electricity bills.

shazzer1978 · 17/03/2022 08:37

Basically telling the DC “we can’t afford it” on repeat about everything.