Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Flip

1 2 3

Original poster

What is the kindest outcome for my elderly cat?

56 replies

GreenLadyBird5 · 16/03/2022 10:45

I have a 15yo female cat (Petal) that I have had since she was 4 weeks old. I rescued her from a group of teens who were playing catch with her & rolling her around the ground in a cut-off water bottle. God knows what her life had before I found her. She's never got over her early trauma. She's extremely jumpy, pulls her hair out at the slightest upset (like me taking too long out shopping). She was savaged by a fox last summer so no longer goes out. That said, she's had a happy long life with me and is super affectionate.

Here comes the issue. Due to the economic situation I am now moving into an HMO and I can't take her with me. I have no friends/family or neighbours who would take her. She has late-stage kidney failure (saturates a whole litter tray daily). She has no issues with his teeth but she refuses regular cat food. I puree wet food at each meal. She often wipes her pooey bum across the floor or bedding. She struggles to lie down due to arthritis. The vet doesn't think she's deaf but she shouts VERY LOUD non-stop when she wants something. She also dribbles a fair bit. She's fully vet checked at the mo & we can't say how long she has left but she could live to Christmas or so..

So my dilemma is, do I try and rehome her or ask for her to be put down? I've been beside myself trying to work this out. I think she'd be super super stressed sat in a strange cage waiting for adoption & she wouldn't be a popular choice due to all her old age issues. I think kittens go first. I can't bear to think of her miserable & upset at her stage in life. I've cried buckets over this. Wwyd?

OP posts:

ImFree2doasiwant · 16/03/2022 10:48

I think you should have her put to sleep. It is absolutely the kast act of kindness you can give her and you may find a feeling of relief in amongst the grief. So sorry OP but it really wouldn't be good to try and rehome her.

Motnight · 16/03/2022 10:51

I agree with the previous poster.

Your cat is lucky to have found you, you are obviously a wonderful cat owner.

sunshinesupermum · 16/03/2022 10:56

You are the best cat owner - thinking of her welfare first and foremost. I agree with PP. The kindest thing is to let Petal go over the rainbow now. So sorry that the economic situation is forcing you into an HMO xx

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Cats

loopylindi · 16/03/2022 11:02

We've had several cats over the years and it is always a hard decision, but cats health can go downhill really quickly, and as you've said she's already got several issues, so don't think of yourself but how the cat is! It really is a painless experience for the animal

GeneLovesJezebel · 16/03/2022 11:04

You should put her to sleep . It would be too traumatic to rehome her.

Original poster

GreenLadyBird5 · 16/03/2022 11:04

I'm afraid to approach the vet because don't they prioritise life over everything? Petal wouldn't naturally die at this point. I feel horrible.

OP posts:

TheCanyon · 16/03/2022 11:09

@GreenLadyBird5

I'm afraid to approach the vet because don't they prioritise life over everything? Petal wouldn't naturally die at this point. I feel horrible.

Well no. They would absolutely prioritise the well being of Petal and do what's best for her, and as you say moving her would be overly distressing and it seems that she's struggling now anyway.

I'm so sorry, it's so hard to let go.

HazelBite · 16/03/2022 11:14

Don't re-home her, for an elderly animal it never goes well. Poor old thing, discuss it with your vet they would be the best person to advise you.

CoastalWave · 16/03/2022 11:17

@ImFree2doasiwant

I agree x You've given her an amazing life. The poor thing really wouldn't cope with being rehomed at this stage in her life. She's 15 bless her. I"m so sorry you're being faced with this

DeoForty · 16/03/2022 11:21

I agree with all the above posters. She's had a lovely life with you. I think IF she was able to be rehomed she would be distressed and that's a big if. Her health conditions could mean she was put to sleep sooner rather than later even in the best circumstances. I've found that vets are usually much more ready to euthanise than the owners. I think if you have a chat with them then you'll see things more clearly.

Suzi888 · 16/03/2022 11:22

I’m so sorry, you’ve given her a wonderful life.
She seems to have some pretty heavy going health issues there.

It seems that your dcat has reached the end or may soon naturally. I think it would be the kindest thing to do at this stage, you wouldn’t want her to suffer. I know it’s an awful decision to make. She would miss you terribly should you rehome her and I’m not sure she would /could be at this stage of her illness. Vets should and do usually discuss quality of life, not just life. Take care OP.

Anomalocaris · 16/03/2022 11:23

Oh Green

It's always a hard decision, but honestly, even without your need to move you probably need to be considering having her PTS at this stage. Late stage kidney disease is torturous on a cat, and 'natural' death would be traumatic and painful, you really don't want her to get to that stage xx

Better a week early than a day late.

FrankGrillosFloof · 16/03/2022 11:25

Thank you for giving her such a long, happy and comfortable life. I agree it’s time to let her go now, peacefully and comfortably with you xx

FindingMeno · 16/03/2022 11:31

So sorry but I think the kindest thing is to have her pts.
I think the vet will agree personally.

GrolliffetheDragon · 16/03/2022 11:32

I gave a home to an elderly stray with multiple health problems. The vet I took her to when I found her was very clear that it was very unlikely she would be rehomed, and the most likely outcome of handing her over would be that she was put to sleep.

In that case I kept her rather than have that happen - not for very long but the short amount of time she had left was happy.

I think if you explain the situation to the vet they'd agree that rehoming would be unacceptably upsetting for her. In my experience vets absolutely take quality of life into account.

I'm so sorry you have having to make this decision

Extratoebeans · 16/03/2022 11:32

Oh this is so sad. You saved her and gave her an amazing life. I think personally if it was me, I would have her put to sleep. I feel awful saying that, but chances are the stress of being rehomed to strangers or in a rescue with other cats in cages might be too much for her anyway. Not only that, but she would be so confused with you not being with her. I think the kindest thing would be to let her go with you by her side. So sorry you have to make this decision

Extratoebeans · 16/03/2022 11:33

Sorry for the emoji face, was supposed to be flowers and has posted as that face.

StooOrangeyForCrows · 16/03/2022 11:35

I have worked in veterinary practices since 1981. Every practice I have worked in would euthanase your cat on your instruction given the background.

Seeingadistance · 16/03/2022 11:37

I agree with everyone else. Petal is very close to the end of the happiest life she could have had - which you gave her - and a calm and peaceful end would be a blessing for her. I am so sorry that you’re having to make this heart-rending decision, but I’m sure that putting her to sleep would be the best thing for her.

Scarecrowrowboat · 16/03/2022 11:41

Makes me feel sad just writing this but I think it would be kinder to put her to sleep. With her issues it will cause her a lot of stress being rehomed and losing you. If she is rehomed it will likely shorten her life anyway, better she goes peacefully and if you can stand it with you sitting there with her at the end. I'm so sorry.

lljkk · 16/03/2022 11:42

I'm afraid to approach the vet because don't they prioritise life over everything?

God no, vets are very keen to stop suffering. They do it a lot so they are comfortable with the principle. My vets have strongly urged me not to do extreme or extensive treatment when the treatment could only gain a few weeks at best. "If it was my cat I'd put him down" said one vet, and told us story about his own kitten he had to PTS for an untreatable condition.

I'm sorry you've got such a difficult experience ahead, OP. It's not clear to me how much you've talked to vet about whether any of her issues could be fixed, is my only hesitation. Please try to take comfort that you gave this animal a great life -- 15 years, wow! That's enormously more important than having to shorten her time a bit now, when she's starting to struggle and can't get better and no one can keep the quality of her life good in future.

Georgeskitchen · 16/03/2022 11:44

Let her go peacefully. The vet is very unlikely to try and persuade you otherwise. I have been with cats at the end and it is very peaceful. Just like going to sleep xx

Kittykat93 · 16/03/2022 11:50

Goodness me no I wouldn't rehome her. She's old, terminally ill with kidney failure, incontinent and sounds like she's already in pain if she can't lie down or walk properly due to arthritis. Even if you weren't moving I think I'd still be making the decision to put to sleep. It's so hard but please don't give her away to someone

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 16/03/2022 11:56

It is cruel and kind at the same time. Your vet should be advising you that the end is near. Sorry for your loss but it's the best thing to do for her given kidney disease etc.

Subbaxeo · 16/03/2022 11:58

You’ve been a wonderful owner and she’s had a loving lifetime with you who rescued her from terror. It’s time to let her go to sleep. Please don’t try to re home her. We said goodbye to our dog at 10 and the vet came to the house to put him to sleep and we were cuddling him while she did it. It really is peaceful.

Flip

1 2 3