Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Flip

1 2 3

Original poster

What is the kindest outcome for my elderly cat?

56 replies

GreenLadyBird5 · 16/03/2022 10:45

I have a 15yo female cat (Petal) that I have had since she was 4 weeks old. I rescued her from a group of teens who were playing catch with her & rolling her around the ground in a cut-off water bottle. God knows what her life had before I found her. She's never got over her early trauma. She's extremely jumpy, pulls her hair out at the slightest upset (like me taking too long out shopping). She was savaged by a fox last summer so no longer goes out. That said, she's had a happy long life with me and is super affectionate.

Here comes the issue. Due to the economic situation I am now moving into an HMO and I can't take her with me. I have no friends/family or neighbours who would take her. She has late-stage kidney failure (saturates a whole litter tray daily). She has no issues with his teeth but she refuses regular cat food. I puree wet food at each meal. She often wipes her pooey bum across the floor or bedding. She struggles to lie down due to arthritis. The vet doesn't think she's deaf but she shouts VERY LOUD non-stop when she wants something. She also dribbles a fair bit. She's fully vet checked at the mo & we can't say how long she has left but she could live to Christmas or so..

So my dilemma is, do I try and rehome her or ask for her to be put down? I've been beside myself trying to work this out. I think she'd be super super stressed sat in a strange cage waiting for adoption & she wouldn't be a popular choice due to all her old age issues. I think kittens go first. I can't bear to think of her miserable & upset at her stage in life. I've cried buckets over this. Wwyd?

OP posts:

PineappleTart · 16/03/2022 12:00

Given the background please don't feel guilty about making a decision that you know is the right thing to do. She's had a long life and is starting to show her age. Let her go peacefully with you who she knows. It's never an easy decision to make x

Cocolapew · 16/03/2022 12:03

I don't think any vet would refuse to put her to sleep giving her age and health problems, its the kindest thing to do

Babadook76 · 16/03/2022 12:04

The vet prioritises quality of life, not life itself. The cat sounds like it already has enough mental and physical issues to justify euthanasia if you were no longer able to deal with them. Given that, PLUS the fact it’s extremely elderly, PLUS the fact it’s now losing it’s home means there’s nothing left for it in this world

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Cats

Spambod · 16/03/2022 12:09

I had my cat put down because he was elderly, all ok but he had a bowel issue and would be so ill and be sick every few weeks. Apart form a that he was ok but I didn’t feel his quality of life was good if every 3 weeks he was in bits for a few days and in pain. I didn’t want him to go through intrusive testing. The vet agreed to put him down and it was very sad and we missed him a lot but I think we did the right thing. I am glad we didn’t wait until he was very ill every day.

Anonaymoose · 16/03/2022 12:38

I'm afraid to approach the vet because don't they prioritise life over everything?

Absolutely not. Please don't be afraid to tell your vet exactly what you've told us.
I'm a vet nurse and euthanasia is always a treatment choice, and honestly I find more often than not people let their pets suffer too long as they don't want to make the decision. I also do cat rescue work and truthfully no one wants the elderly cats, it breaks my heart to see them sitting in a kennel for months on end with hardly any human contact. I think euthanasia is the kindest option here. You've given her a wonderful home but even if you could take her the change would likely be very upsetting for her at this stage in her life.

MadameFantabulosa · 16/03/2022 12:41

Put to sleep. But please be with her at the end, and if possible, see if the vet will come to your home.

QuebecBagnet · 16/03/2022 12:44

I had my 14yo cat with kidney failure pts and she didn’t even sound as bad as yours. The vets recommended it following a blood test. Even without the house move and inability to take her it sounds like it might be time. I’m sorry.

1984Winston · 16/03/2022 12:53

I do think the right decision would be PTS, the vet will absolutely understand (I used to be a vet nurse) she's sounds like she's been very lucky to have such a lovely owner ❤

TonTonMacoute · 16/03/2022 12:54

I think you know the answer. Just because the euthanasia option is heartbreaking that doesn't mean it's not the best thing to do.

If it helps (it won't) we will have to make this decision very soon over our lovely 16 yo tabby boy. He has a very weak heart and failing kidneys,the treatment for the one risks making the other worse and he's going down hill very fast. It's not if but when and our vet is very supportive of not leaving it too long.

thebabessavedme · 16/03/2022 12:58

i would have her pts, by far the kindest thing to do.

OP, I have stayed with 3 of my lovely old pussers during the procedure, very painless, peaceful and quick. I'm sure you will be upset but it will pass and you can remember her with love and affection knowing you did the right thing and not with worry and guilt about what happened to her if you went the rehoming way.

Tickledtrout · 16/03/2022 13:03

Oh OP I am so sorry you're facing this. What a lovely life you have given Petal and even now thinking of her when your own fortunes have taken a downturn.
Absolutely talk to your vet. And if they don't understand then talk to a different vet. It's absolutely time to let her go gently and with you at her side.
A vet once said to me that if you leave it until the owner is absolutely sure it's the only option then you've already left it too late to stop the pet suffering.
Love to you and Petal.
I hope you have many happy pet keeping times ahead of you.

KitKat1985 · 16/03/2022 13:08

In all honesty OP I doubt given what you've described that there are many owners that would be willing to take Petal on even if you tried to re-home her.

I think given her poor physical health and the amount of stress trying to rehome her would put on her, I would think the kindest option would be to have her put to sleep.

It sounds like you've taken very good care of her and she's had a very well loved life with you, so please don't beat yourself up.

KitKat1985 · 16/03/2022 13:09

Sorry that should say 'I doubt that there are many owners that would be willing to take Petal on even if you tried to re-home her'.

Isonthecase · 16/03/2022 13:31

I'd also be seriously considering putting her to sleep even if you weren't moving, it sounds like her quality of life isn't great. I know it's hard because you love her but are you keeping her alive for you or for her?

Original poster

GreenLadyBird5 · 16/03/2022 15:45

Her quality of life right now is good. She can toddle around the house to her hearts content. She usually follows me around. She's quite lively when she's awake. Her fur is starting to look less perfect though & she's lost weight. I feel so for my little companion.

OP posts:

PineappleTart · 16/03/2022 16:20

@GreenLadyBird5

for my little companion.

Sadly with late stage kidney failure she may go downhill quickly.

You saved her. Remember that.

JustlookingNotbuying · 16/03/2022 16:32

I personally think that to make the decision to have her pts is a very kind thing to do. My parents let their cat live too long, he was 17 and he had lost a lot of weight, was not 100% and had a lost look in his eyes but because he was still eating they couldn’t bring themselves to do it, which is totally understandable but I do feel he suffered a little bit longer than necessary, he had a stroke a few weeks ago and passed away very quickly, it was a blessed release, I am sure he was starting to suffer a little.
You have given your cat a wonderful, long, happy life and helping her to the Rainbow Bridge just a bit sooner is the kindest (but hardest 💔) thing to do. I wish you both the best. You sound like a perfect cat owner

AppleButter · 16/03/2022 16:33

I think that due to the kidney failure and her age, this is a decision you would have to make soon anyway. I am sorry it has been accelerated by circumstances. I think, slowly, you should get ready to say goodbye. Spend time with her, talk to her, say your goodbyes and with respect make funeral arrangements. And if you can, some days off afterwards for the most acute mourning, even though you will probably need years, as we do when we part with a beloved friend. I am very sorry that you are facing this choice.
My boy cat died aged 13, with heart problems and after three long stays at the vetinary clinic. He died at home in the midst and panic of the first lockdown. What I wish for is that I could have given him a peaceful death, without the fearful and painful treatments. Even if that death would have been very slightly premature. I am glad that he died at home, but would swap this for peace now.
Could you ask a vet to come to your home for the last rites?

QuebecBagnet · 16/03/2022 16:35

@GreenLadyBird5

for my little companion.

My cat was the same. I was stunned when the vet rang back with the results of the blood test and said she needed pts that day. I think cats are good at masking things. It was the weight loss which prompted me to take her.

LoveLabradors · 16/03/2022 16:41

Cats can decline very quickly with kidney failure. You have given Petal a wonderful, long life. She does not sound like a well girl now at all. Your love and nurturing after the short but awful trauma she endured as a tiny kitten has been everything a little cat could ask for and more. All Petal has known is your love and friendship, and having her gently put to sleep will be your last great kindness and act of love for her. I really feel for you and your circumstances, it sounds tough. And grief for a pet is very real, as is the sadness of letting go too, go easy on yourself. Hoping for some brightness for you very soon. Gentle strokes to Petal.

CrunchyCarrot · 16/03/2022 16:42

I would say the best outcome for your kitty is that you (sadly) need to have her put to sleep, as the trauma of a change in owner would be terrible for her, even without considering what you have told us about her past and general nature.

Kidney failure is awful for them anyway, one of my last kitties had that and it's miserable, he's the one I was most comfortable with having him pts, even though I cried buckets. I knew he was unhappy even though he was very stoic.

Honestly it's the kindest thing to do. If the vet can come to your home to do it, even better. hugs

MindfulMarch · 16/03/2022 16:46

@GreenLadyBird5

(((HUG)))

I've had cats with kidney failure, they mask, they appear to rally around, but it's a long drawn out process & it's really difficult for them.

Even if you could find her the perfect home (if I didn't work I'd happily look after her for you & I'd love her loads, pander to her every whim that I could (diets become very restricted) she could sleep on my bed etc) she won't need to go to a rescue & she could bring all her stuff-you could visit if it wasn't too far for you etc) but it STILL wouldn't be the best thing for any elderly cat, let alone one with early trauma

Yes, if you weren't having to move, you could probably keep her alive for a few more months, but it really isn't kind. I deeply regret keeping my girl alive so long, but I was suffering a bereavement & I honestly felt she was rallying & getting better. She seemed happy until the very last minute, but she started losing her balance etc.

So, not sure how to say this kindly, but your situation might press you into doing the kindest thing for her xx

FlowerArranger · 16/03/2022 16:52

@GreenLadyBird5

for my little companion.

I am so sorry, but based on your description, your cat's quality of life is not good. Read your OP again and ask yourself how YOU would feel if you were suffering these debilitating symptoms...

Cats are very good at masking their discomfort. Even purring doesn't necessarily mean they are content - they also purr to cope with pain and stress.

I had my beloved cat PTS when she was at a similar stage, even though I had the time and money to continue funding her treatment. It was just the right thing to do.

I have a lot of experience volunteering at shelters and fostering cats and I urge you to do the kind thing and let her go. Cats have no perception of the future, no bucket list of things to do before they go. She has had a good life, but it's time.

Extratoebeans · 16/03/2022 16:54

I honestly feel for you so much. Just wanted to add something that I experienced in terms of vets. My boy broke both hip joints on separate occasions. He was 2 and otherwise fit and healthy. One of the vets we saw offered to put him to sleep, even though after the surgery he would be absolutely fine. So I certainly don't think your vet would refuse with the conditions your girl has and they wouldn't judge you at all.

Do you know how long you have until you will be moving?

Subbaxeo · 16/03/2022 17:03

I’m so sorry for you. It’s a heartbreaking decision either way. What a fortunate cat she has been in having you as you have been having a loving companion. Please be kind to yourself when the time comes.

Flip

1 2 3