Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

Young adult DC - how much rent?

56 replies

Inesyoucantbelieveawordshesays · 16/03/2022 10:26

My 18 y.o DD has decided that she will take a year out post A levels, following a tough 2 years in sixth form.

I am 100% on board with this decision and agree it's the right choice. She has a p/t job on £10 per hour and it's highly likely she can increase her hours next year.

We have agreed thar, as a working adult, she will make a financial contribution at home. I know this is a divisive subject and my post really isn't about the rights and wrongs of this (she has a tendency towards being a tiny bit of a princess and I think it's essential she develops a concept of how boring things in the real world cost money. I've decided - although she doesn't know this - that I will save everything she pays and ultimately transfer it into her home-buyer ISA so it comes back to her anyway.)

I just wanted a quick survey - she's likely to earn about £200/week. What do you think is a reasonable sum for her to contribute?

OP posts:
CatsArePeople · 16/03/2022 10:55

not more than 50.

Original poster
Inesyoucantbelieveawordshesays · 16/03/2022 10:56

@CatsArePeople
Per week or month???

OP posts:
CatsArePeople · 16/03/2022 10:57

week

Ducksurprise · 16/03/2022 10:58

Depends what you are still paying for, is it just rent and household bills or are you paying for transport, mobile phone, Netflix, clothes etc

drawingpad · 16/03/2022 11:01

I think it's essential she develops a concept of how boring things in the real world cost money. I've decided - although she doesn't know this - that I will save everything she pays and ultimately transfer it into her home-buyer ISA so it comes back to her anyway.)

I would strongly suggest sitting down and doing this with her, so she is saving her own money. A bigger lesson is learned by young people actively saving rather then mum secretly saving. The amount is less important than the lesson imo.

hairymuffet · 16/03/2022 11:01

200 month. Pays own phone etc.
£600 a month spending money is more than sufficient.

RewildingAmbridge · 16/03/2022 11:06

I did the same but worked full time for the year, my parents didn't charge me anything, I paid for my own phone and socialising. They were not well off, I took the year to save to pay towards uni. I think if your DC is working and saving, don't charge them.
I think parents taking an adult's money and saving it is infantilising. Just she with her you weren't going to charge get but she needs to sit down work out a budget including savings. Empower her.

RewildingAmbridge · 16/03/2022 11:09

*agree with her you aren't going to charge her...

CatsArePeople · 16/03/2022 11:10

I think if your DC is working and saving, don't charge them.

This.^
I don't charge my DS rent because he's saving. But I'd maybe rethink this if he was wasting it.

Thewindwhispers · 16/03/2022 11:12

It depends what her other expenses are. Like is she paying transport? I lived at home for a year after finishing uni, but after paying travel expenses to get to my central London temp job, buying suit for work, food and paying my mobile phone, I was left with sod all.

Original poster
Inesyoucantbelieveawordshesays · 16/03/2022 11:14

Ok, thank you for views - the decision is made about her paying an amount towards her upkeep and so that isn't what I have posted about. My own opinion is that an adult with a job has to make a contribution towards their living expenses; it is a life lesson. As it stands, we do not strictly need the money and so I intend to transfer it into her ISA at a later date. She set the ISA up herself and saves into it already.

The decision has been made based on my knowledge of our specific circumstances. All I wanted to ask was how much other people's young adult DC pay.

OP posts:
ImInStealthMode · 16/03/2022 11:15

I think the lesson that 'boring things cost money' is a good one, but so is saving.

Maybe something in the middle? Charge her a nominal £25/£30 a week (or thereabouts) for her board so long as she is actively saving for her own future too? She could pay £100 a month to you, save £100 a month and still have £100 per week to live on. With extra shifts she can either save more or spend a bit more.

Whether you choose to save her contribution and then give it back to her in addition to her savings is up to you.

ImInStealthMode · 16/03/2022 11:18

Oops; got the very simple maths wrong there! Somehow I was thinking she earned £600 per month not £800.

In that case I'd adjust my figures to be circa £200 per month to you for board, £200 per month to save and £400 to spend.

If she's not saving then increase her board (in the thinking that you are only charging her a minimal amount in order to allow her to save)

InDubiousBattle · 16/03/2022 11:20

Assuming you don't actually need the money then I think the amount depends on what you want to achieve by charging her really. If you want to teach her about saving and budgetting then you need to encourage her to do just that, look at her hours, her outgoings, set up dd for savings etc. If you actually want her to learn that she needs to contribute financially then I'd abandon the idea of secretly saving for her (which teaches her nothing really)then I suppose you'd work out a proportion of utililes, food and so on. She'd at least learn what a bargain being at home is!!

InDubiousBattle · 16/03/2022 11:21

Sorry X posted with you op. My sister charged her dc a third of their take home pay, how ever much that was.

Nelliephant1 · 16/03/2022 11:28

Absolutely none!!! When did your child become your tenant, it's her home, why on earth would you want her pay rent for the house she's lived in all of her life!

cherryonthecakes · 16/03/2022 11:29

My dd has just done this

Instead of charging her rent, she is responsible for buying stuff for starting uni in the autumn (new duvets etc) and pays her car insurance. She does her own laundry already (started in Sixth Form) and uses her wages for toiletries, going out and clothes. In my DD's case she's been doing 35 hours a week and manages to save about 30% -40% each month.

When her brother did the same, getting him to take over a cost eg mobile phone or food went down a lot better than charging money.

cherryonthecakes · 16/03/2022 11:30

If not clear, the savings is for starting uni costs. For example she will get a new laptop. By saving the money herself, I am hoping that it has become a habit.

beenaroundtheblox · 16/03/2022 11:35

@Nelliephant1

Absolutely none!!! When did your child become your tenant, it's her home, why on earth would you want her pay rent for the house she's lived in all of her life!
You must be well off
mumwon · 16/03/2022 11:35

charge her £50 a week BUT when she starts uni give her a percentage back (whatever you can afford according to her & your financial circumstances)

Thoosa · 16/03/2022 11:36

@hairymuffet

200 month. Pays own phone etc. £600 a month spending money is more than sufficient.
This.
FindingMeno · 16/03/2022 11:41

Is she saving up for Uni or to do a course?
Nothing if she is.
I think £40-£50 would be about right if not.

MegaClutterSlut · 16/03/2022 11:41

I don't charge ds 19 rent on the understanding he saves £300 at least a month ( he earns 1k) to go towards his driving lessons/house deposit which he has stuck too so far and some he also treats us to a weekly takeaway in your situation, I wouldn't charge more then £200 imo

HollowTalk · 16/03/2022 11:43

If you don't need the money why not say you'll charge £50 per week and match her savings as long as it's into her ISA?

SareBear87 · 16/03/2022 11:45

I was charge by my parents at 18

Our arrangement was 1/4 in "rent", 1/4 in savings and the rest was mine.
My mum helped me set up a standing order so when I was paid things were done automatically.
I also paid for my own phone, gym, car, etc.

Although people say it's harsh, it helped me learn the value of money. Up until that point I couldn't understand why my parents complained about bills! But I was a bit of clueless teen!