Young adult DC - how much rent?

[Inesyoucantbelieveawordshesays]

My 18 y.o DD has decided that she will take a year out post A levels, following a tough 2 years in sixth form.

I am 100% on board with this decision and agree it's the right choice. She has a p/t job on £10 per hour and it's highly likely she can increase her hours next year.

We have agreed thar, as a working adult, she will make a financial contribution at home. I know this is a divisive subject and my post really isn't about the rights and wrongs of this (she has a tendency towards being a tiny bit of a princess and I think it's essential she develops a concept of how boring things in the real world cost money. I've decided - although she doesn't know this - that I will save everything she pays and ultimately transfer it into her home-buyer ISA so it comes back to her anyway.)

I just wanted a quick survey - she's likely to earn about £200/week. What do you think is a reasonable sum for her to contribute?

I think I paid £200 a month when I moved back in with my parents after Uni (15 years ago now) but I was in a full time graduate job.

My parents based it on how much extra it cost them to have me living there - so additional food, gas, electric etc. My mum would generally do most of the cooking and washing as well so feel like I got a very fair deal!

One third of take-home. Save it, but also encourage her to start her own savings.

Personally I would just get her to pay the additional that it actually costs her to live there rather than a random sum.

Agree that she should be paying for everything herself if she doesn't do that already - though I think by doing this she obviously is aware that "boring things cost money" - a lot of teenagers aren't dense and are aware that bills need to be paid, and will be grateful for the opportunity to save their money themselves.

If you don't need the money why don't you work it out that she pays the money into a locked ISA so that you know she's saving it herself and is unable to get to the money for the set period of time - is it 2 years? Can't remember.

Doing that she might get a saving bug and be more inclined to save and actually watch her savings grow.

@Nelliephant1 because taking "keep" off your working young adult teaches them that nothing in life is free and everyone is expected to contribute.

@Nelliephant1

Absolutely none!!! When did your child become your tenant, it's her home, why on earth would you want her pay rent for the house she's lived in all of her life!

Eh?

My house is my home too… I still have to pay to live in it..

Who would ever bother to move out of their parents house if they never had to pay for anythint and their working wage could be spent on whatever they want?

MN is weird about adult children paying board. Where I live it is perfectly normal 😂
If you’re not studying and a working adult you contribute.

@Nelliephant1

Absolutely none!!! When did your child become your tenant, it's her home, why on earth would you want her pay rent for the house she's lived in all of her life!

FFS. The OP explained her reasoning perfectly clearly, and that she wasn't looking to get into a debate on the rights and wrongs of this.

Also, a lot of families (though it doesn't sound like the OP is in this category) have no choice but to charge their adult children board because they can't afford not to. They'd have to manage rent/mortgage and costs if they weren't living at home, what's so terrible about expecting them to make a contribution while living at home?

My 19 daughter attends University near us ( 30 mins on the tube ) and altho she has quite a well paid P/T job we don't charge her anything. She has her car to pay for, her phone and books etc for University.

She'll learn soon enough about the cost of living.

If she's taking home 200pw I'd charge 50pw. That's a quarter, so while not representative of real percentages, its still a good chunk.

150pw spends is more than enough, although I'd encourage her to save a percentage of that too to teach her savings/pension etc.

@drawingpad

I think it's essential she develops a concept of how boring things in the real world cost money. I've decided - although she doesn't know this - that I will save everything she pays and ultimately transfer it into her home-buyer ISA so it comes back to her anyway.)

I would strongly suggest sitting down and doing this with her, so she is saving her own money. A bigger lesson is learned by young people actively saving rather then mum secretly saving. The amount is less important than the lesson imo.

This , they learn nothing by someone else saving money for them .

We have decided that 25% of take home pay is fair. It is enough for him to know that he is making a fair contribution and leave him a good sum to do with as he wishes. It is also not enough that it would be cheaper for him to move out, we'd like to keep him for a bit longer yet 😊

Our rules growing up and therefore for my kids are 1/3 board 1/3 save 1/3 spends. It seems to work well.

My son pays the equivalent of the child benefit I have lost, by him leaving full time education. That is VERY reasonable imo and should probably be more.

@HollowTalk

If you don't need the money why not say you'll charge £50 per week and match her savings as long as it's into her ISA?

That's a good idea. I'm in the don't charge them camp. Secretly saving the money teaches them nothing. If your objective is to teach her financial management then doing it tor her is unhelpful. You don't teach a 4 year old to yie shoe laces by doing it for them. I've never charged working adult DC "rent". I did teach them how to budget and invest money. They are both miserly very frugal and saved a hefty sum. If you don't trust her not to blow it all then promising to match her savings could work well.

I would actually sit down with her and go through all of the bills and ask her what she thinks. This will be a good life lesson for her learning what needs to be paid for to run a home.
I did this with my two DC’s and they actually came up with an amount more than I was intending to charge them .

We compromised on a figure half way and I saved it for them.

30% of her income on rent, so 60. She really should pay the actual cost for food and toiletries, but maybe simplify that at 25 a week. Then she covers the rest of her expenses like paying for her own cell phone, buying her own clothes. Leaving school shouldn’t find her suddenly flush with cash and no responsibilities. It will give her a completely skewed idea of budgeting.

£200 per month sounds reasonable. I think I charged my DD 300€ but she was earning more.

Students do not have to pay even if they have a part time job.

All adults should have to pay unless the family is independently wealthy and no one works. It helps with respect in both directions.

@Fairyliz

I would actually sit down with her and go through all of the bills and ask her what she thinks. This will be a good life lesson for her learning what needs to be paid for to run a home. I did this with my two DC’s and they actually came up with an amount more than I was intending to charge them .

We compromised on a figure half way and I saved it for them.

When I sat down with mine and had a similar chat on different occasions, they both offered to pay the 25% council tax discount that I had lost which surprised me

Ignoring all rhe I would never charge my child ,blah blah responses ,we all have different circumstances and not everyone can afford to allow their adult,working child to live at home rent free,charge her whatever you think is appropriate.

You'll have to pay extra council tax for her if you get single person CT discount.
She will have expenses and is earning. Will cost more in heating, electrics, better WiFi etc and food. So it's more than reasonable to charge living expenses and nominal rent.

If it's a gap year you will want her to save for uni next year too. At least £2-3k. Tell her to save 1/3 to half her wages and her rent / living costs charge will be less if she does.

For £200 week wages £900 month )+ you said she may pick up more wages and earn more, I would ask for £250 a month and she pays her own mobile phone bill and transport and saves 1/4-1/3 of her wages into savings account for uni.

If she saves 1/2 wages by Standing order, I would drop it to £150. But I would insist on being shown that. Because you live alone in bedroom in shared house without food and transport and mobile phone + insurance, would be £400-500 at least a month, so is bargain for her.

If you can set aside some of that "rent and living costs contribution" (make her aware it is still hugely discounted rate for family!) without telling her, to also make her a savings account, if you can afford it, depending on what you negotiate with her, then that would be a great idea. Then she'll love you for it. I made secret savings accounts for mine (but are going to uni at 18) and they were delighted.

I would need the money if my adult DCs came to live with me and was working earning not studying as I'd have extra costs, DS age 19 costs me extra £250 in food a month (he almost doubles our food bill & shoots up our electric island heating use when home !) and it would cost me an extra £60 in council tax if he lived here permanently (as a working adult) rather than the 4-5 months temporary stay a year whilst at uni outside term time!! I also subsidise him a fair bit of the time, when he runs out of food money away at Uni!

I sometimes do a £70 online shop delivery via Morrisons on Amazon to his uni house with basics (huge pasta and rice packs, meat, tins etc) at start of year /or term as I learnt that quickly! He can't carry much to the house from supermarket as it's such a long walk. Yeah he could do it himself but his budget isn't enough to do huge "shops", and loves that his mum does it adhoc for him.

My dad charged me either 10% of what I was earning, to a maximum of £100 per month.

I am so very grateful he did, as it taught me the importance of ensuring bills are priority and anything else is extra. I have never once missed a payment since leaving home and I put that down to being guided well as a young adult.

Never understood why parents think its such a bad thing - no body teaches you at school how to pay bills, or what happens if you fall behind in debt. You either get taught at home or hope that somehow you pick it up as a you go before its too late

It's all about teaching value of money and how to budget.

When they first go out in the world on their own, they don't realise they will have so little spare money, so learning to live on a limited budget is important.

But you have to negotiate and make it seem fair. Show them your living costs. My son was horrified that when he works over holidays even part time he has far more spare money than I have left over at end of the month, so he has always saved 1/2 of his wages.

Whilst he is at uni and studying I don't take rent from him when he is back here - which of course no is suggesting you or I would- but my DD would insist on paying if he lived here all the time and was working.

My DS tried to give me money when he was working part time whilst studying his A levels and saving for uni as he realised how little money I had and how I never spent on me but spent anything I had spare on him and his sisters. I let him buy a couple takeaways as a treat on occasion (so maybe £100 over a whole summer when he worked lots of hours). But We did a deal that he saved and he did. (He still spends-on designer trainers 😄 and going out (important things) whilst working during summer holidays so he's not brassic!)

@Fooshufflewickjbannanapants

Our rules growing up and therefore for my kids are 1/3 board 1/3 save 1/3 spends. It seems to work well.

Agree. That was the rule for me too when I started working, and it worked fine and allowed me to save for uni (like the OP's daughter, I took a year out before starting).

@hairymuffet

200 month. Pays own phone etc. £600 a month spending money is more than sufficient.

This

£40 per week for food, electricity, Netflix, internet etc. She buy her own clothes and travel. Encourage her to save.