I feel like leaving DD with her dad permanently

[TheNeverEndingIllness]

I can honestly see why parents send their kids into school ill. I won’t send mine in but I really want to.

Posted this earlier this week thread

Tonsilitis diagnosed today, 10 days of antibiotics. So no school until the course is finished so next Friday – it’s a school rule and has been in place since pre-covid, they don’t take children on antibiotics, even the headteacher sounded like she didn’t agree with it when telling people about it but it’s the rules. State primary before anyone asks.

I can’t do this anymore. I’m a single parent, ExH sees DD 1 overnight EOWend, that’s it. But he won’t take her if she’s ill. So he’s only had her for 1 overnight this year out 5.

I feel like driving her round to his, and leaving her there and telling him to deal with her for a change. I won’t, but it means not working again until she’s back at school.

I see this half term being a repeat of last where she only managed 12 days in for the entire half term.

So… has she had her throat swabbed and had it confirmed as bacterial? If not, she doesn’t necessarily need antibiotics. In fact, even if bacterial, she doesn’t necessarily need antibiotics although she might get better slightly more quickly.

www.nhs.uk/conditions/tonsillitis/

[quote SergeiL]So… has she had her throat swabbed and had it confirmed as bacterial? If not, she doesn’t necessarily need antibiotics. In fact, even if bacterial, she doesn’t necessarily need antibiotics although she might get better slightly more quickly.

www.nhs.uk/conditions/tonsillitis/[/quote]
@SergeiL She's been ill with it since last week, missed Friday at school with it and the GP said as she's not improving she needs help to fight it.

Ah ok. Tricky one. Unless underlying conditions, she will likely start improving soon in either scenario. Is she still feeling really rough?

The school won't let her attend or they won't administer the antibiotics?

How many times a day does she need to take them? Hopefully they'll kick in after a couple of days and she'll feel well enough to go back - just don't tell school she's still having them at 9am 4pm and 8pm or whatever!!

I mean, if she’s not really unwell I would be sending her to school and managing the antibiotics on the side. A ludicrous rule.

That's a ridiculous school rule. Don't tell them she's on AB's and administer outside school hours.

A school won't take children on antibiotics?
What a bizarre rule?
I've been a teacher over 20 years and that's a first for me.
What's their reasoning for that?
Considering how harshly schools are judged by Ofsted on attendance, must schools are bending over backwards to keep attendance figures as high as possible.

Sorry - is this a state school? In the UK?! You need to speak with your local Council & MP asap…I’d prob also contact ofsted whilst your at it for clarification of their requirements - you can’t exclude a child for needing antibiotics (if they’re otherwise capable of completing a school day) - that’s insane!! At ours you fill in a form and the relevant dose is administered when required!

Uuuuhhhhh, why does he only have her once a week and not if she's unwell? Whose decision was that?

How old is your daughter?

That's the oddest rule I've ever heard. I can understand then not administering them, but just because someone is on them? Do they understand that something requiring antibiotics is bacterial, not viral, and not likely contagious?

I'd entirely ignore, send her to school as soon as feeling better, and administer the abx in the morning and evening.

@Mumdiva99

The school won't let her attend or they won't administer the antibiotics?

@Mumdiva99 Both, she can't go in on antibiotics and they won't administer they've said its to do with their insurance.

@bumpytrumpy

How many times a day does she need to take them? Hopefully they'll kick in after a couple of days and she'll feel well enough to go back - just don't tell school she's still having them at 9am 4pm and 8pm or whatever!!

@bumpytrumpy 4 times a day with no less than 4 hours between, so I'm doing 8am, 12pm, 4pm and 8pm

@aleC4

A school won't take children on antibiotics? What a bizarre rule? I've been a teacher over 20 years and that's a first for me. What's their reasoning for that? Considering how harshly schools are judged by Ofsted on attendance, must schools are bending over backwards to keep attendance figures as high as possible.

@aleC4 It's always been the rule since pre-covid, it's to with insurance apparently and also them apparently not being well enough.

@Blinkingbatshit

Sorry - is this a state school? In the UK?! You need to speak with your local Council & MP asap…I’d prob also contact ofsted whilst your at it for clarification of their requirements - you can’t exclude a child for needing antibiotics (if they’re otherwise capable of completing a school day) - that’s insane!! At ours you fill in a form and the relevant dose is administered when required!

@Blinkingbatshit Yes state primary, it's an academy but will talk to the council. Even the poor headteacher doesn't believe it I don't think though.

She's on 4 times a day so there's literally no way I can administer around the school day.

@LightSpeeds

Uuuuhhhhh, why does he only have her once a week and not if she's unwell? Whose decision was that?

@LightSpeeds once per fortnight not once per week, and it's his choice to not have her when ill. There's a CAO but he said in court he won't have her when she's ill and the judge said we can't force him.

@Ponchek

How old is your daughter?

@Ponchek 7 year 3

@teezletangler

That's the oddest rule I've ever heard. I can understand then not administering them, but just because someone is on them? Do they understand that something requiring antibiotics is bacterial, not viral, and not likely contagious?

I'd entirely ignore, send her to school as soon as feeling better, and administer the abx in the morning and evening.

@teezletangler She's on them 4 times a day so can't just do morning and evening. And she's likely to tell them she's on them, and then school will send her home as per their own policy. Telling her not to say anything means she's more likely to say it because she;s dyslexic so struggles to retain information, she will say it so it's said if that makes sense.

Everyone is getting hung up on the antibiotics (because it’s outrageous, admittedly) but I get the feeling you want some solidarity about your useless ExH. He sounds likes a dick, OP, sorry. Can you speak with him about upping the time he spends with her? Does she enjoy the time she spends with him and is she well cared for there? If so I’d be looking to put a new routine in place that is more equitable. You need a life and a break too x

@cowskeepingmeupatnight

Everyone is getting hung up on the antibiotics (because it’s outrageous, admittedly) but I get the feeling you want some solidarity about your useless ExH. He sounds likes a dick, OP, sorry. Can you speak with him about upping the time he spends with her? Does she enjoy the time she spends with him and is she well cared for there? If so I’d be looking to put a new routine in place that is more equitable. You need a life and a break too x

@cowskeepingmeupatnight She loves going but he won't have her anymore than he does. There's a CAO that he wanted, and I offered more time in court but that's all he wants, I've begged for more and he just says he's happy with the level of contact. And he won't take her when ill at all, so times like this he goes weeks without seeing her and he seems ok with that. DD really wants to see him more.

What an absolute shit. Sorry OP, I know that doesn’t help you but what an awful excuse for a human being he is. Picking and choosing when to see his own child

@JuneFromBethesda

What an absolute shit. Sorry OP, I know that doesn’t help you but what an awful excuse for a human being he is. Picking and choosing when to see his own child

@JuneFromBethesda And the courts allow it, the judge said in court when he said "I won't have her if she's ill" that he can't "force him to see her". I know why they can't but it's still unfair that everything is left to me.

Was the judge a man, by any chance? 🙄

Did he/she realise that by not forcing your ExH to see her, he/she is actually forcing you to keep hold of her? But that doesn’t matter eh, because you’re the mum….

@cowskeepingmeupatnight

Was the judge a man, by any chance? 🙄

Did he/she realise that by not forcing your ExH to see her, he/she is actually forcing you to keep hold of her? But that doesn’t matter eh, because you’re the mum….

@cowskeepingmeupatnight We had a man for the final hearing but the woman judge said it as well. I do get why they can't force him to have her, as that would be against his human rights, it just sucks it's all down to me.