I feel like leaving DD with her dad permanently

[TheNeverEndingIllness]

I can honestly see why parents send their kids into school ill. I won’t send mine in but I really want to.

Posted this earlier this week thread

Tonsilitis diagnosed today, 10 days of antibiotics. So no school until the course is finished so next Friday – it’s a school rule and has been in place since pre-covid, they don’t take children on antibiotics, even the headteacher sounded like she didn’t agree with it when telling people about it but it’s the rules. State primary before anyone asks.

I can’t do this anymore. I’m a single parent, ExH sees DD 1 overnight EOWend, that’s it. But he won’t take her if she’s ill. So he’s only had her for 1 overnight this year out 5.

I feel like driving her round to his, and leaving her there and telling him to deal with her for a change. I won’t, but it means not working again until she’s back at school.

I see this half term being a repeat of last where she only managed 12 days in for the entire half term.

@LightSpeeds

Uuuuhhhhh, why does he only have her once a week and not if she's unwell? Whose decision was that?

It's one night EOW and it's his choice not to have his DD if she's ill.He sounds like a lazy useless turd.

Your Ex H is BU. But so is the school if they won't let her attend. I have never heard of this being in the medical policy. I know some schools won't administer the antibiotics - but to not allow attendance is counter intuitive to wanting high attendance figures. What if the antibiotic is for an infected nail for example? It doesn't stop you learning. No need to be home. I wonder if you have got confused between they won't give it and she can't attend school.

If they won't give it - then give her doses around school time if you can't get to school to give her one at lunch time. So 7am, 3:30pm, 6:30 pm and 8:30pm.... It has to be better than missing school. Or call the doctor and ask for an antibiotic that can be given only 2 or 3 times a day. -- I will caveat that by saying tonsillitis is horrid - so no school until she feels well enough to go back.

I don't know what she's taking, but can you ask your GP to switch her to something that has a twice daily dosage?

Have emailed school to clarify policy, they're usually pretty good at getting back to me. Also going to ring round some of the other local schools and the other school in the Academy Trust to see if it's their policy.

I know it might not help, but you can ask the doctor to switch her to an antibiotic regime that is just two doses a day. Then tell her that it is a new vitamin supplement so she doesnt tell the school

Have put a request in for a different antibiotic, even 3 times a day I could make work.

A few local schools have a none administer rule but will let them attend, so I'll see what school come back with.

When oh when will the government stop letting fathers off the hook - its appalling that they keep letting men walk away from parental responsibilities because they don't fancy the hassle.

If he isn't willing to look after his daughter then he should pay for childcare so you can at least work.

I'd vote for any political party that came up with viable, practical policies that stopped penalising women for the crappy behaviour of irresponsible, dickhead men.

Take child support (including to pay for childcare up to 50% of the time) direct from earnings for a start.
Proper scrutiny of income (HMRC can do it for other purposes so why not for CS?).

Is this Tuna dad? I thought he was going for 50:50 - how's that going to work if he won't take her when she's ill?

I would ask doctor for a different antibiotics that she only needs to take 3 times a day. I know there is a norm antibiotic for tonsillitis but my daughter doesn’t get on with it so she just gets amoxycillin for tonsillitis.

So sorry missed your update!!

What a vile excuse for a father. Won't have her if she's ill, as if parents have a choice. I'm sorry you're on your own with this op

Some people are on antibiotics permanently or for months at a time e.g. for prevention, malaria prophylaxis, before a dental procedure, for acne I believe. Would the school send those perfectly healthy children away?

Presumably she can go 12 hrs between doses overnight though so why is it every 4hrs for the other 12hrs of the day - I'd call the gp and ask for confirmation of 6h gaps thay run round the clock.

Ah misread as "must be 4hs between".

So do a 8.30am dose, 3.30pm dose after school, 7.30pm dose then if they won't switch her to a 3 dose batch, wake at 11.30 for a dose.

I wouldnt call him a dad tbh.
Not caring for his sick daughter, what kind of person is he?
🤮

GP has said I can give 4 times a day until she goes back to school (not well enough yet anyway) then go down to 3 times a day, so there's that at least.

No reply from school yet.

I hope this poor excuse for a man is at least paying out handsomely for the lack of contact. Does that amount change when he refuses to have her when she’s ill?

The school’s antibiotic policy is bizarre. It’s not the rule at the school I work in. We can’t give them the medication but they can come in whilst taking it and not contagious.

@BeingATwatItsABingThing

I hope this poor excuse for a man is at least paying out handsomely for the lack of contact. Does that amount change when he refuses to have her when she’s ill?

The school’s antibiotic policy is bizarre. It’s not the rule at the school I work in. We can’t give them the medication but they can come in whilst taking it and not contagious.

@BeingATwatItsABingThing Very little CM, he earns less than I do according to CMS, and I'm on min wage so he must be doing way less hours than me. No idea how he affords to live.

@TheNeverEndingIllness

Is he self-employed?

Are you being paid whilst off with your DD?

@BeingATwatItsABingThing

Are you being paid whilst off with your DD?

@BeingATwatItsABingThing He works locally in a business that's national so doubt he's SE.

No pay while off with DD, I'm on a 0 hours, which usually is great but at times like this isn't brilliant.

It's not unusual to recommend kids stay home for 1st 48 hours of antibiotics (I used to be a school nurse assistant giving meds in a special school and this was our policy ) but once 48 hours gone it seems very strict to not have a child in just because they're on antibiotics. I can't help wondering if there's been a typo on the policy? Also understand school not wanting to give them but could you not do the four doses out side of school time -might mean waking once in the night ?

@LethargeMarg

It's not unusual to recommend kids stay home for 1st 48 hours of antibiotics (I used to be a school nurse assistant giving meds in a special school and this was our policy ) but once 48 hours gone it seems very strict to not have a child in just because they're on antibiotics. I can't help wondering if there's been a typo on the policy? Also understand school not wanting to give them but could you not do the four doses out side of school time -might mean waking once in the night ?

@LethargeMarg GP has said 4 doses a day until she's well enough to be back at school then 3 doses a day.

So can't you do four outside of school time so one at 8am 4pm 8pm and one at midnight?