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Original poster

Friend lied about being descended from the aristocracy?

76 replies

jezzarbar · 14/03/2022 20:02

Hi all,

I have a close friend who has consistently lied to me and others about being part of the aristocracy. Both his parents have regular jobs, a nurse and a doctor, but he claims to be a direct descendant of some very very posh families. He goes around telling people and they are often like 'wow' or impressed etc

He even gave names of individuals. I never really thought about it as he is posh and would make sense.

But recently he told me one name and I googled it. I found out the person died without any children so it was impossible for it to be his x times grandfather. I once worked freelance as a genealogy researcher whilst between jobs, so I know my way around records and research.

I decided to be very nosy and look into him. He has absolutely no aristocratic family. In fact, most of his family seems to be working class south londoners.

Why would someone do this?

OP posts:
maddy68 · 15/03/2022 08:47

He was actually very bitter. He was only told after who he thought was his father was dying his mum was happy to lie forever. His"dad" told him on his deathbed as he thought he has a right to know. Lots of pieces of a puzzle fell into place like why I used to be taken to visit This old man as a young child who was a "friend" of my grans and paid for me to have lots of things

WouldIwasShookspeared · 15/03/2022 08:54

He may think it's true.
I grew up being told by my great grandma that her aristocratic family escaped from the court of Versailles during the revolution, bringing what valuables they could and lived well until the family fortune was gambled away.
She also said her son received a lord of the manor of whatever title and house and land but declined it and it went down another branch of the family.

Yes. I know. Blush

I believed it well into adulthood. Interesting family history I thought. Even told my husband who nodded politely.

Years ago I got talking to my great aunt about it (title rejecting uncles wife)

She laughed.
A lot.

WouldIwasShookspeared · 15/03/2022 08:56

Sorry. Completely missed your second post. Hidden as it was, erm, right below your first.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Families
Lunificent · 15/03/2022 09:01

He might actually think he is? Maybe when his sister first started researching, she had some false starts and told him those results, then carried on and found more mundane info.
I’m the one in my family who ‘s into genealogy. I’ve passed on exciting finds to the family only to find I was wrong.

If he is lying, which is most likely, I would do as others have suggested and enjoy getting him to feed you ever more ludicrous info. Feign some interest and get him to show you his sources.

LadyMacduff · 15/03/2022 09:01

There are some people who just make stuff up. My DH has a relative who has fabricated jobs and courses, and it's turned out to be all complete bollocks.

TeacupDrama · 15/03/2022 09:03

as the present Kings of Sweden, Norway and Spain, and Queen of Denmark are all direct descendants of Queen Victoria if you are related to one you are related to them all

cakeorwine · 15/03/2022 09:27

I wonder at what point going back does an ancestor become irrelevant?

Great great grandparent?

If someone's ancestor was at the Battle of Waterloo in 1815, that might sound impressive. But how many potential descendants does that person have?

I wonder how far back most people could go to get a common ancestor to the Queen?

WouldIwasShookspeared · 15/03/2022 09:36
scottishnames · 15/03/2022 09:53

cake or wine

Just as you say, most people of English ancestry are descended from Edward III :

www.waterstones.com/blog/family-fortunes-adam-rutherford-on-how-were-all-related-to-royalty

HorseInTheHouse · 15/03/2022 10:20

@SuperSocks

Why would anybody WANT to be descended from aristocracy? All that inbreeding...eww!
My great granny was from a minor Norfolk aristocratic family, so that's two inbreeding stereotypes. Her parents actually were first cousins and her memoirs include the classic line "As we were first cousins and I had been told by my grandmother that I must not even think of marrying any cousin, I enjoyed doing things with him but he kept asking me to marry him which I kept refusing." Grin

Luckily the family had become a lot less aristocratic and a lot more genetically diverse by the time it got to my generation.

LemonsLimes · 15/03/2022 10:30

You said he's posh but most of his family are working class. So I assume he went to a posh school. Maybe he felt inferior to his classmates and the lying started that way

potniatheron · 15/03/2022 10:38

I think it depends on who the family is that he claims to be descdended from. If it was, like, the Plantagenets, then yes he may be correct, or at least genuinely believe he's correct, because it was a huge family with loads of cousins and kids born out of wedlock, so he may well have been told he was descdended from some minor plantagenet and the milkmaid and believe it, and it wouldn't show up on any family tree. That's harmless stuff, I think.

If however he is claiming to be related to an actual powerful family like, I dunno, a Rothschild, where it's easily provable that he's not, then that says something unpleasant about his personality, either that he's a bit of a minor con artist or that he's a fantasist or that he's insecure. None of these traits are attractive in an adult. Does he lie in other areas of his life too?

Gonnagetgoing · 15/03/2022 10:47

@WouldIwasShookspeared

He may think it's true. I grew up being told by my great grandma that her aristocratic family escaped from the court of Versailles during the revolution, bringing what valuables they could and lived well until the family fortune was gambled away. She also said her son received a lord of the manor of whatever title and house and land but declined it and it went down another branch of the family.

Yes. I know. Blush

I believed it well into adulthood. Interesting family history I thought. Even told my husband who nodded politely.

Years ago I got talking to my great aunt about it (title rejecting uncles wife)

She laughed.
A lot.

@WouldIwasShookspeared - actually I have a similar tale but it's true.

Family in France were a Baron someone - they might have wanted to leave France during the revolution as lots of nobles were losing their heads. Anyway my relative (great great great (I think!) grandfather) - actually rowed a son of a british nobleman back to England after a battle and was rewarded with a large house etc and set up for life. From his first wife we have cousins and I'm descended from the second wife.

There were fortunes and valuables that have either stayed in the family or got lost but we have a medal and photo of the relative who rowed the son across the Channel.

scottishnames · 15/03/2022 10:47

potniatheron
The article I mentioned above says that if we have an English ancestor we are ALL descended from the Plantagenets (Edward III is the most studied member of that family)

cakeorwine · 15/03/2022 10:57

@Gonnagetgoing

So 1789 - French Revolution.

230 years ago - so quite a few generations.

I wonder how many people in the UK can tell a similar story of their 'Great Great......grandfather' who rowed this Nobleman's son across the Channel - and you would all be talking about the same person?

x2boys · 15/03/2022 11:04

He might not be necessarily lying as such ,there is a story in my maternal family that a long dead ancestor was the illegitimate child of a member of the aristocracy who was related to the royal family ,I like to think there is some truth in it and I do tell people tongue in cheek ,but who knows probably I should do o a family tree 🤣

drpet49 · 15/03/2022 11:06

I hate liars

WouldIwasShookspeared · 15/03/2022 11:12

Yes, that's the story I got told. My aristocratic ancestor was rowed across the channel to England carrying as much 'treasure' as possible.

My great aunt was the one who broke it to me that that was, in our case, utter bollocks.

I believed it more because my great grandma's family have a French name.

WouldIwasShookspeared · 15/03/2022 11:15

Posted too soon.
Except it wasn't a French name. It just sounded french. A quick Google suggests it's a Scottish clan name

Thewindwhispers · 15/03/2022 11:21

What a ln insecure loser 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Everyone is descended from royalty if you go back far enough, who gives a shit. But boasting about it while lying? 🤣🤣🤣🤣

StooOrangeyForCrows · 15/03/2022 11:23

The aristocracy? With the royal family at the head of it? Looking at the RF and the type of people they are comprised of makes me glad I am descended from endless agricultural labourers and before that, vikings.

Why people are impressed by the aristocracy is a mystery to me. Bunch of nonces, ponces, horse faced arseoles and exploiters.

2bazookas · 15/03/2022 11:58

I've encountered two people who did that in order to impress. That combination of dishonesty and pretentious snobbery were reasons they
A) never qualified as my idea of "friends" and
B) were frigidly socially distanced .

I might add that in both cases, the "aristocracy" lie was just the warning tip of a far bigger iceberg of lies and deceptions. Ranging from criminality (convictions for theft and fraud) serial marital cheating, and bullying abuse of anyone who challenged their lies.

cakeorwine · 15/03/2022 12:04

Looking at the RF and the type of people they are comprised of makes me glad I am descended from endless agricultural labourers and before that, vikings

But they don't mention the RF great great great great grandparents who were labourers!

Daily Mail headline - Harry and William descended from peasant

BeyondPurpleTulips · 15/03/2022 12:05

Odds are he's lying but there is a chance the records are wrong.

I someone who raised their daughter's child as their own, and adoption records can prove that. However they can't prove that the husband was indeed raising his own child as his "adopted grandchild"

Snowisfallinghere · 15/03/2022 12:07

Is he planning to start up an exclusive art foundation in New York? Has he eaten out on your dime and then promised to wire you the money? If so, I think Netflix might be interested in your story Grin