Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

Twatty stuff your X did that you no longer have to deal with

60 replies

MrsBerthaRochester · 14/03/2022 19:20

Listening to Classic fm today(everyday) Vivaldis four seasons came on. My dd immediately started laughing and it set me off.
Xh hated the fact that he had to get up for work while we remained in bed for another couple of hours. Hugely resented it. So he would set his alarm to play this really loudly every morning, get up leaving it on and go downstairs and put the radio on. Loudly.
Now he no longer lives here dcs and I never have to listen to that shite again.

OP posts:
TurquoiseDragon · 14/03/2022 20:23

Can’t even tot up how many utterly miserable nights over the years I spent in tents hating it because HE liked it so I had to like it as well.

My ex had a similar mindset, that if he liked something, then I should like it too. He was also abusive.

My twat was a housework avoider like there was a medal for it. To the point that when the DC got bigger and I was at work on his day off, he'd make them do it all instead of getting off his arse. Or he'd shrug and whine "you have more free time than me". That stopped when I pointed out I was working longer hours than him.

I'm actually now friends with his first wife, she divorced him for the same reasons, but she had boundaries and left after 18 months, where I was worn down and took 30 years to leave.

We don't have to worry about him now, he dropped dead at work.

nevisbump · 14/03/2022 20:24

Just a few things

Managing to block the thermostat from going higher so I couldn't turn up the heat above his perfect temperature.

Judging me buying a bottle of win costing around £7 when has just spent nearly £100 on whisky (it was my money!)

Being late for everything

TheVolturi · 14/03/2022 20:24

Had a boyfriend in my early 20s and he was quietly very controlling. We lived in different towns and he would not come and visit me at my house, I had to go to his. He went out with his mates on set days and I was not allowed to disturb this. He expected me to pay towards his food shopping while I was staying at his even though I had my own house to run and he refused to come there. Every Sunday evening, after he'd watched a certain programme, I had to drive him to the pub and then collect him again later!
Sounds comical really now, no way would I put up with any if that crap these days! 🤣

LaraDeSalle · 14/03/2022 20:30

Speeding. His idea of taking the scenic route would be to drive as fast as he could to (in his words) to pick off cars and overtake them.

He couldn’t stand to have a car in front of him on country roads.

oohyoudevilyou · 14/03/2022 20:31

Carrying a bag of apples wherever he went, and eating them loudly, really really loudly. He needed an apple with every drink or sit down he had, on car or train journeys, at the cinema, theatre and whenever he went for a walk.
I never eat bloody apples now.

TurquoiseDragon · 14/03/2022 20:31

I think I have to be careful here, as if I get started about my ex, I'd struggle to stop.

But I don't miss his sex pest ways, or the sexual abuse. I don't miss his poor hygiene that left his side of the bed brown. I don't miss the times in the late evenings when he'd suddenly decide he had to search for something, so I'd have to stay up to help or he'd find excuses to go through my things and accuse me of all sorts. And so on, and on, etc.

vipersnest1 · 14/03/2022 20:32

I could have added several of the above examples, but I'll put this one here for you all to admire my 'Prince among men':
He used to vigorously scratch his balls in the morning, liberally scattering his pubes everywhere. Envy(not envy)
If any of you want his contact details,
I'll happily provide them! Grin

SanFranBear · 14/03/2022 20:37

No more competitive illness... if I'm sick, DC look after me and not once have they claimed they have what I have and not only that, they have it worse. I'm so rarely ill anyway, it's just lovely to actually focus on getting better!

Graphista · 14/03/2022 20:49

Ooh good idea for a thread

My ex also never finished a cuppa - what IS that about?

Watching rugby and all rugby related tv programmes CONSTANTLY and this was before streaming! I dread to think what he does now on this score!

If he had a runny nose he NEVER blew it just constant sniffing drove me nuts (and meant every time he had a cold it lasted ages!)

NEVER apologised

Inhaled his food - seriously he never even used a knife except to cut everything up at the beginning Like you would for a toddler then used the fork to just shovel it all in! I had to tell him NOT to do this on our wedding day!

Some of these I do Blush good thing I live alone!

Thanks to all who had more serious shit to deal with glad you're out or getting out

I'm fucking evangelical about being single these days!

Notjustabrunette · 14/03/2022 20:49

Having the TV on all the time, his collection of wrestling memorabilia, his love of weatherspoons and his dislike of nice restaurants.

Ywnaged · 14/03/2022 21:39

Ex number 1:

  • A subtly controlling pig of a man. I don’t miss the sight of him clipping his toenails on a magazine first thing in the morning. It’s funny what images you recall! Or the disapproving look on his face when I put on gym wear to - gasp - not go to the gym. I don’t miss the way he would talk over me or insist I watch a 3-hour film with
him that I’d already told him I would find boring.

Recent ex:

  • I don’t have to deal with him leaving my car in a state or moaning about the costs of things I paid for with my own money. Nor do I have to sit through Liverpool games/MOTD when I’ve made the effort to go see him. Or deal with his family calling him 3-4 times a week and worse, turning up unannounced.

Ahhh, singledom is superb on balance!

Ringmaster27 · 14/03/2022 21:52

Me and the DCs no longer have to put up with being second fiddle to the job.
His job is such a major part of his personality and the lifestyle we led, every single conversation would somehow come back around to the job. He would volunteer for anything and everything that came up at work, so I was basically a single parent long before we split anyway.
He’s not a bad person by any stretch of the imagination, but has a very skewed priority list for a man who had a young family.

AccidentalMindFuck · 14/03/2022 22:12

No more gas lighting or being blamed for EVERYTHING he perceived to be a wrong doing.
No more having to pay for his kids.
No more being made to feel like my feelings are worthless.
I’m not quite there yet but can dream about it.

StripeyDeckchair · 14/03/2022 22:34

Not putting up with his sulks which involved not speaking to me and moping around the house for days.

Refusing to "babysit" his children - the children he begged me to have, but he's not seen since they were 3. They are now 18 studying A levels.

Not having a job, lying about applications, forcing me to go back to work when DTs were 5mo

Blaming everything on his dysfunctional upbringing - his mother was the evil witch from hell and his father largely not present and ineffective when he was - get some counselling and move on, take some responsibility for your life.

Never staying up to his parents

justjuggling · 14/03/2022 22:56

He used to watch porn after I went to bed and leave spunk filled tissues in the lounge for me to find and clear away the next day. Just one of the very many reasons I don’t miss him AT ALL.

Mykittensmittens · 14/03/2022 23:04

Slept with lots of other women

And….

Made me think I was going insane every time I caught him out.

Thankfully now I don’t have to….
Put up with him having a secret SIM card hidden down his sock.
Put up with him smashing stuff up to deflect during any discussions where he’d been caught.
Deal with the consequences of him getting one of his OW pregnant while I was having IVF.

I could write many more, the list is endless.

GremlinDolphin4 · 15/03/2022 07:16

Its a long list but to summarise, don’t have to:

  • walk on eggshells for the next thing to set him off
  • run around to Get everything thing perfect knowing that he’ll find something I missed to justify why I’m awful, lazy, a bad mother etc
  • Listen to him going on and on about his work and successes and be told I’ve achieved nothing with my life

You get the picture! And yes I stayed too long, it did escalate to violence and involved the children but we did get out in the end and I am today sitting in the sunshine in my own house with my dcs and a lovely new man who is kind, calm and jolly!

Love to all.

Original poster
MrsBerthaRochester · 15/03/2022 17:33

Well I was keeping it lighthearted but....
xh had a threesome with two sex workers and was arrested for assaulting one of them. He denied for months that anything was going on then let me find out when it appeared in a national newspaper.
He blamed it on me putting to much pressure on him when we had another stillbirth.

OP posts:
MoonBat · 15/03/2022 17:49

My ex H financially and emotionally abused me, cheated on me and generally made my life miserable. But when I think of the things that truly make me happy that I don't have to experience anymore, it's the little things. The way he found it physically impossible not to answer "how are you?" with "I'm alright, it's everyone else innit" which he thought was hilarious and charming. His bad breath and sweat stains because he rarely showered or brushed his teeth. The joggers that he initially bought for doing DIY but ended up wearing almost constantly. The way he insisted he was 6ft5 but was actually 6ft2. His beard hairs around the sink after he'd shaved. His "five minute jobs" taking several hours. His constant loud talking, especially when we were around my family or friends. T-shirts that didn't fit him properly so showed his belly and bum crack. His snoring. I could go on.

Original poster
MrsBerthaRochester · 15/03/2022 17:55

Oh yes the snoring like a wart hog! And the farting. I have never smelled anything to rival xh's flabby arse.

OP posts:
Original poster
MrsBerthaRochester · 15/03/2022 17:57

And he also had a micro penis. Like proper teenie tiny. And he didnt like kissing and was god awful at oral sex.
Since we split I have only shagged young gym fit guys with big dicks.

OP posts:
Purplecatshopaholic · 15/03/2022 18:04

Blimey some horror stories on here, so sorry for what others have been through. I thankfully no longer have to deal with constant lying, gaslighting, him never being wrong, me always being wrong even if it took a very convoluted route to ‘prove’ it, controlling behaviour and being put down constantly. This when I had the good job, paid all the bills etc and somehow got so entrenched/enmeshed etc in my marriage that it took me over 20 years to get out. Happily free from that now - it’s never to late to get TF out and start to live your best life!

Dirtyduck · 15/03/2022 18:36

Similar to the OP, my ex would get up early and HATE the fact I was staying in bed for a few hours. I suffered from insomnia for a while and would often have only just got to sleep when he had to get up for work at 5am. Instead of putting the bedside light on next to him, he would insist on putting the main bedroom light on and all the hallway/bathroom lights every morning. Then literally crash about the room, opening the wardrobe and slamming it shut several times, opening drawers and slamming them shut. He would be smirking the whole time, and say "did I wake you? I suppose you ought to get up now?"
He would would wear 3 outfits a day at least - Shirt and trousers for work, then he'd come home do a workout in gym gear, then get changed into loungewear on an evening. He would undress and let his clothes drop to the ground and I would be expected to pick them up and wash all 3 outfits daily. (The washing basket was 3 feet away, but he never put anything in there)
He never took a plate, cup, glass or anything into the kitchen, it would be left next to him on a side table.

He never put as much as a teaspoon into the dishwasher.

I remember someone saying to me how awful it must be to be on my own during lockdown, I laughed and said it was so much easier now, my workload literally halved once he left!

I started seeing someone last summer and I still find it weird that after we've eaten, he automatically picks up not only his plate, but mine too to take out to the kitchen and automatically starts helping me clear up after dinner.

Milomonster · 15/03/2022 19:14

My ex became obsessed with religion - almost cult-like brainwashing levels. In the car on long journeys, he’d put on his sermons, use his free time to study, it’s all he would talk about. It weighed so heavily on me but guilt prevented me from complaining too much. Anyway, I’m glad to be rid of the fucker. It didn’t make him a better human or father.

JamFrogEgg · 15/03/2022 19:18

45min long poos. My toilet is now available should I need it and it doesn't stink either.

Globs of green snot over the basin taps from where he'd hawk up phlegm after washing his face.... Envy