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Original poster

Neighbour noise complaint

52 replies

Fupoffyagrasshole · 13/03/2022 00:00

We live in a ground floor flat - neighbours above us knocked on our door this morning and the guy was pretty stressed out telling us he can’t sleep and we need to keep the noise down (this was 9.30am) we apologised and asked what the problem was - he said we get up early and his bedroom is above ours and he can hear our baby crying, heard my husband singing her a nursery rhyme and talking (we were reading her some books in the bed)

We said we do start our day at 7.30 as we have a 1 year old and that’s her schedule unfortunately.

He said he needs to sleep in on a Saturday - and that in future can we move to another room and be quiet.

I’m a bit miffed tbh - I can hear every footstep they take, they have their tv loud, I can hear them in their bedroom chatting and laughing at night, they put the washing machine on late at night right above my daughters room - but I’ve never said anything as I felt this is part of living in a flat unfortunately a bit of noise! I’ve learned to live with it

It’s actually really upset me now tbh I find myself afraid to even sing baa baa black sheep to my daughter in the bath this evening.

Ugh 😑 not sure what we can do tbh - babies cry and they get up early - we start our day early / they start theirs late
I don’t feel like we have done anything wrong at all and feel stressed being given out to basically.
Not sure what I’m looking for here kind of wanted to vent/ see what others thoughts are

OP posts:
Original poster
Fupoffyagrasshole · 13/03/2022 00:02

And the only other room we have is the kitchen/living space - part of it is under their bedroom anyway so not sure moving in there would even help

But tbh I enjoy having a lazy morning in bed with my daughter and her books for half an hour before leaving we get up and why shouldn’t we be allowed do that

OP posts:
CraftyGin · 13/03/2022 00:04

Just say that you will do your best.

Theunamedcat · 13/03/2022 00:05

Do they have carpet?

ClariceQuiff · 13/03/2022 00:05

I think you should say to your neighbour what you've said here about their various noises that you put up with. Not much you can do about a crying baby but perhaps you could reach a compromise about the noises which are within your control - e.g. their late night washing machine, your early morning singing.

Original poster
Fupoffyagrasshole · 13/03/2022 00:07

Don’t even know if they have carpet tbh! My husband was very polite about it and said we would be more mindful

I can hear them walking around right now getting ready for bed and i feel a bit like being passive aggressive and telling them to stop walking so loud 🙈 (I won’t though)

OP posts:
Original poster
Fupoffyagrasshole · 13/03/2022 00:08

I think we might have to say something about the washing machine now and the tv and stuff even though I wasn’t bothered to before - but just to point out it goes both ways.

OP posts:
Original poster
Fupoffyagrasshole · 13/03/2022 00:09

Fair enough on the singing front however it did stop her crying so I guess they can choose crying or a bit of singing 🙈🙈

OP posts:
HundredMilesAnHour · 13/03/2022 00:14

If you're making noise at 7.30am on a weekend morning, that's a bit selfish and unnecessary. He must have been at his wits end to actually come down and complain. At least try going in another room. If you make an effort, they will probably also make an effort. You're being a bit unreasonable complaining about their noise when you haven't actually told them you can hear them and that they disturb you.

Original poster
Fupoffyagrasshole · 13/03/2022 00:18

2 rooms in our flat @HundredMilesAnHour not exactly lots of places to move to

OP posts:
Justilou1 · 13/03/2022 00:18

What an entitled git! If he comes again, let him know that his complaints are neither legally nor logically enforceable. Advise him that while you and your family take every care to live in a considerate manner, you are also entitled to a peaceful enjoyment of your own home. Should he come back, you will report him for harrassment. (Make sure you keep a note of any contact you have from this bloke. He sounds like a twat. If he goes to the council, it will go nowhere, but request a recording thing to cover your butt. It will also record his noises at night and potentially him coming to harass you.)

imlostandfussy · 13/03/2022 00:19

@HundredMilesAnHour

If you're making noise at 7.30am on a weekend morning, that's a bit selfish and unnecessary. He must have been at his wits end to actually come down and complain. At least try going in another room. If you make an effort, they will probably also make an effort. You're being a bit unreasonable complaining about their noise when you haven't actually told them you can hear them and that they disturb you.
Do you have kids? Obviously not if you think that starting the day at 7.30am and making a normal amount of noise for a family with a very young child is selfish.
HundredMilesAnHour · 13/03/2022 00:29

@Fupoffyagrasshole

2 rooms in our flat *@HundredMilesAnHour* not exactly lots of places to move to
Maybe give your daughter's room a try? If their washing machine is above it, they won't be sleeping there surely? If you demonstrate you're making an effort even if it's just on Sat mornings, they will most likely make an effort too.

Or you could just escalate things as a previous poster suggests but that will make it worse rather than better. As the ground floor flat, you'll probably comes off worse. Asking a neighbour to keep the noise down isn't harassment nor is expecting a bit of peace and quiet at 7.30am 'being entitled'. He obviously knows babies can't help crying. It sounds like it's the early morning singing that was a step too far.

Unfortunately these sort of incidents will happen when you live in a flat and have a baby. The difference is that you chose to have a baby whereas your neighbour didn't. He hasn't complained before (even though it seems you've been disturbing him every morning) just as you haven't complained to him. So surely there's potential to work something out between you as it seems that neither flat wants to be unreasonable if they can help it.

HundredMilesAnHour · 13/03/2022 00:33

Do you have kids? Obviously not if you think that starting the day at 7.30am and making a normal amount of noise for a family with a very young child is selfish.

The world doesn't revolve around your child or the OP's child. Clearly you think it does. A weekend is quite different to a working day. Have a bit of consideration. Or don't bother and live with the consequences of the neighbours deciding not to have any consideration either.

imlostandfussy · 13/03/2022 00:45

@HundredMilesAnHour

Do you have kids? Obviously not if you think that starting the day at 7.30am and making a normal amount of noise for a family with a very young child is selfish.

The world doesn't revolve around your child or the OP's child. Clearly you think it does. A weekend is quite different to a working day. Have a bit of consideration. Or don't bother and live with the consequences of the neighbours deciding not to have any consideration either.

It's not consideration, it's called life. Babies make noise. Deal with it.
wifeyxx · 13/03/2022 00:52

I'd be telling him to fuck off! Not your fault your baby is awake at that time! Sounds a miserable bastard!

Ylvamoon · 13/03/2022 00:55

@Fupoffyagrasshole - just get on with your life!
Your neighbour is a dick and just trying it on. If he knocks again, tell him politely that children will be children and that there will always be some family noise.

EveryCloudIsGrey · 13/03/2022 01:01

You and the other flat are getting annoyed with one another but its whoever built or converted the flats that you should be mad at.

I'd speak to your neighbours with a view to you coming together to work out how you can both minimise the noise. If you both own your flats then it might be worth doing some proper sound insulation. If you rent then speak to your landlords. If you work together it will be better.
Pissing each other won't achieve anything.

AllThingsServeTheBeam · 13/03/2022 01:01

@HundredMilesAnHour

Do you have kids? Obviously not if you think that starting the day at 7.30am and making a normal amount of noise for a family with a very young child is selfish.

The world doesn't revolve around your child or the OP's child. Clearly you think it does. A weekend is quite different to a working day. Have a bit of consideration. Or don't bother and live with the consequences of the neighbours deciding not to have any consideration either.

Wtf do you want op to do?! She stopped a crying baby. If a baby wakes at 7.30 and decides they want to be loud or cry there is naff all even op can do apart from try.

It's normal noise with young children.

echt · 13/03/2022 01:36

7.30 is not too early to be up and about in your home.

Bouncing on a trampoline? Not so much.

Who "needs to lie in" on a Saturday? No-one. They might want it/like it.

findingsomeone · 13/03/2022 01:54

Haha I have a one year old too and my first thought was that they're lucky your day doesn't start until 07.30! That's a decent and rare lie in for us.

I think you need to prep a little speech to be more assertive when you next speak to them. Say you'll do what you can to be quieter on a Saturday morning but no guarantees as you can't shove a sock in a noisy toddler's mouth to quieten them. And definitely mention their impact on you. It's a love and let live situation, this is what happens when you share walls or floors or ceilings with neighbours.

TheDuchessOfBeddington · 13/03/2022 02:17

I’m sorry but I think the OP’s neighbours are being completely unreasonable.

Singing to your kid is a normal family activity, it’s not like they have a live band playing for parties till 2am!!

I live in a flat and a bit of noise is normal. OP I’m sorry they are making you feel like shit. You have been very reasonable by not complaining about the washing machine late at night etc. it works both ways! Flowers

Billandben444 · 13/03/2022 07:02

I'd be telling him to fuck off! Not your fault your baby is awake at that time! Sounds a miserable bastard!
And this is how you approach life, is it? Thank heavens some of us believe in respect and communication.

MacraMee · 13/03/2022 07:08

I would just ignore and carry on living your life. 7.30am is a perfectly normal time to be up and about. Your neighbour would hate me as I'm up and about by 6am most days.
If he complains again just tell him you can also hear him and its part of living in a flat.
My neighbours are noisy late at night so I wear earplugs, perhaps your neighbour could try this.

Billandben444 · 13/03/2022 07:08

OP, I'd talk to him about the noise you hear from his flat and that this is a downside to flat-dwelling. It sounds as though if they put carpet/rugs down it might help but it's really a case of live and let live and it won't be long before your daughter will want to be in the other room watching cbeebies! Enjoy your mornings in bed with her but I wouldn't launch into any ABBA Smile

Billandben444 · 13/03/2022 07:12

Oh, and I'm lying in bed in my flat at 7am on a Sunday morning listening to the toddler upstairs run up and down (in hob-nailed boots) on laminate flooring. Would I complain? Never. It's hard enough for families in flats (and I'm saving that for the drum kit!).