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Is it normal that my 6 year old literally cannot sit still?

41 replies

PlinkPlankFirstManc · 11/03/2022 15:48

Just that really. I'm starting to wonder if it is normal that my 6 year old DS cannot sit still. He is home educated at the moment for various reasons but he does attend various settings with other kids (clubs and so on) at which he seems to be the same. We also have a big extended family with lots of other kids the same sort of age and they don't seem to be anywhere near as active as he is. He just does not stop moving. I think he physically can't stop himself fidgeting. What he'd be like at school if he had to sit still at a desk I can't fathom. Even if he's watching TV or reading or drawing he has to be either standing up or fidgeting about. He also makes a lot of repetitive noises and bites his nails - it's like he has to be active. The only time I see him still is if he is really absorbed in something like lego or building a train track.

I get really judged by family because he just doesn't listen to me - e.g. the other day we were at a relative's house and he kept jumping onto the sofa. I told him off every single time he did this and he just carried on and on and on and on (it's a very small house and I couldn't take him into another room). Eventually he burst into tears and said he couldn't stop himself. Our own sofa at home has loads of burst springs from him jumping on it, again despite the fact he is pulled up on it every single time. I feel like he genuinely isn't able to stop.

I have wondered about ADHD as I have it myself (I was only diagnosed last year and mine didn't present itself as a child as his does - I was more mentally hyperactive than physically hyperactive). I spoke to the GP who was totally unhelpful and said if he wasn't "naughty" then he probably didn't have it and anyway the waiting list was over two years.

Has anyone got advice/experience?

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GrazingSheep · 11/03/2022 15:51

Maybe look at dyspraxia and see if anything fits

Lubeyboobyalt · 11/03/2022 15:51

ADHD very strong possibility, especially as you have it - the family link has been proven

it presents differently between individuals

Your GP is a clueless dinosaur to say something like that!

PlinkPlankFirstManc · 11/03/2022 15:53

Dyspraxia I don't think fits at all as his hand eye coordination is very good and his fine motor skills have also been good too. He's also excellent at reading, spelling, maths which I understood would be an issue if he was dyspraxic.

I was always a very academic child myself which is half the reason my ADHD wasn't picked up.

OP posts:

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Lubeyboobyalt · 11/03/2022 15:53

In your post I see hyperactivity, inattention, impulsivity. Pretty classic. Can you see a different GP

PlinkPlankFirstManc · 11/03/2022 15:55

I was so put off by the GP I spoke to that I feel really upset at the thought of talking to another but I think I need to.

I would be quite happy to go private but my understanding is it's better to have an NHS diagnosis, isn't it? My own ADHD diagnosis was private as I was told by (another) GP that as I'd done well at school there was no way I had it Hmm

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goldensilver · 11/03/2022 15:56

Following as this sounds exactly like my ds.
He was desperate to be on the move from the moment he arrived into this world (4 weeks early and shot out like a bullet from a gun)

Lindy2 · 11/03/2022 15:56

It does potentially sound like it could be ADHD. It's hard at such a young age to know as it could just be being a very active 6 year old. The fact that you have ADHD does make it more likely.

If you don't mind me asking, why is he homeschooled? Is it coping/behaviour related or something else? If he's not coping with a school environment then I'd push your GP for a CAMHs referral. Yes it does take about 2 years - all the more reason to get it started now.

TheYearOfSmallThings · 11/03/2022 16:00

At 6 it is difficult to know, which is why they prefer not to diagnose at this age. The family history certainly makes it a possibility.

Do you mind saying why you homeschool? Has he had trouble coping in nursery/school, or does it reflect a parenting philosophy? Also what consequences have you tried? Because if he has always just ignored you telling him to stop then that becomes habit.

PlinkPlankFirstManc · 11/03/2022 16:00

If you don't mind me asking, why is he homeschooled? Is it coping/behaviour related or something else? If he's not coping with a school environment then I'd push your GP for a CAMHs referral.

He was at a small private nursery from the age of 1-4 (where he was happy enough but he was generally fairly ambivalent about going - i.e. he didn't give a shit when we went into lockdown and he couldn't go anymore) and then went into reception at the normal time. He was OK at school but was overwhelmed by the large class size (inner city school, over 30 kids), and when he had to be homeschooled due to Covid he was thriving so much that we decided not to send him back.

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PlinkPlankFirstManc · 11/03/2022 16:01

Also we recently moved and may have to move again soon, and I didn't want to put him into another school and then have to move him again - I thought it would be unsettling for him.

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PlinkPlankFirstManc · 11/03/2022 16:02

Also what consequences have you tried? Because if he has always just ignored you telling him to stop then that becomes habit.

Literally anything you can think of, including bribery/sticker charts etc and punishments like time outs/leaving the place we are if he ignores warnings.

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PlinkPlankFirstManc · 11/03/2022 16:04

He's v sensitive to noise as well - still gets very distressed by things like hand dryers for instance.

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ParsleySageRosemary · 11/03/2022 16:13

The repetitive noises caught my eye and made me think both ADHD and ASC. Oh, and I see sensory sensitivities too.

The doctor is absolutely and totally wrong. ADHD is nothing to do with being naughty as such. My money is on an excessively high wired nervous system or just too much energy, suited to the hunter-gathering lifestyle which has lasted humans for millions of years rather than modern recent sofa-based city cultures.

It’s a shame in a way that a school isn’t involved as they have their own referral routes for diagnosis. Referral routes vary by area. Try Googling for a sendiass in your area, or find a couple of local special schools online and have a look through their websites for onward contacts.

PlinkPlankFirstManc · 11/03/2022 16:16

I raised concerns at nursery and when he was in reception but as he was "clever" and quiet in group situations they felt there wasn't an issue.

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PlinkPlankFirstManc · 11/03/2022 16:17

He has so much energy I just can't comprehend it. He can run round and round in circles for what feels like hours.

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yellowbridgebang · 11/03/2022 16:20

Everything you've described sounds like my autistic son at 6. He has a sensory processing disorder which means a lot of stimuli overwhelms him and at the same time he needs to move all the time to balance his sensory system. He has vocal tics and does all his school work standing.

ittakes2 · 11/03/2022 16:22

Google infant reflexes not going dormant and primitive reflexes not going dormant. Also OCD.
Since you have ADHD and it can be hereditary I think you should put him on the waitlist to be assessed.

PlinkPlankFirstManc · 11/03/2022 16:23

He has a sensory processing disorder which means a lot of stimuli overwhelms him and at the same time he needs to move all the time to balance his sensory system. He has vocal tics and does all his school work standing

This sounds v like my DS and honestly part of the reason I think home education has worked better for him is that I've been able to allow him to learn while doing those things.

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LegallyBlende · 11/03/2022 16:23

My ds is very similar and waiting on an ADHD assessment. Preliminary appointment showed strong markers for ADHD.

I got an indoor trampoline for him and it's great.

PlinkPlankFirstManc · 11/03/2022 16:25

god an indoor trampoline is a genius idea. Why didn't I think of that!!!

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PlinkPlankFirstManc · 11/03/2022 16:26

My ds is very similar and waiting on an ADHD assessment. Preliminary appointment showed strong markers for ADHD.

Did you get him assessed via school or via the GP if you don't mind me asking?

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yellowbridgebang · 11/03/2022 16:36

There's loads of sensory tools like indoor trampolines which might help - peanut balls, wobble boards, sensory socks, weighted blankets, general sensory exercises, fidget toys etc. DS is older now so less of an issues but we used to do a massive sensory burst with the above before needing to focus on something specific.

PlinkPlankFirstManc · 11/03/2022 16:44

Half the issue means my own ADHD makes me exceptionally intolerant to noise so the vocal stims drive me crazy (I have my own stims but they're not vocal). I feel like I spend half my life telling him not to x or y but he genuinely can't help it.

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PocketFullOfPuddocks · 11/03/2022 16:57

His sensory needs and energy levels sound similar to my DS (who has ASD). We have an indoor swing, monkey bars, trapeze and stretchy hammock/sling which we alternate hanging in our doorway-they just use two screw in fittings in the frame and karabiner clips to attach. Best money we ever spent!

LateMumma · 11/03/2022 16:59

Perhaps check out sensory processing disorder - closely linked to dyspraxia/DCD