Will you be opening your home up to Ukrainian refugees?

[musicalfrog]

Interested to see how popular this will be considering so many of us want desperately to make a tangible difference.

My OH wouldn't be up for it I don't think, and we don't have a spare room so I will avoid that particular argument. But otherwise I think it would be such a great thing to do.

The govt is asking for a minimum commitment of 6 months. Will you be signing up?

I know they do but I guess I'm thinking more of if you have family.

No because I am having chemotherapy and need peace and space to recover.
Before all this happened? Yes I would. But I’d have conditions - no males over or nearing puberty (I have young children and wouldn’t want to put them in danger). Also I don’t see how we could offer more than 1 room so I guess that’s only 1 young child with mother? We also only have 1 bathroom between us all so would need to consider those logistics.
However I doubt DH would entertain it and as the house is half his I’d have to honour that.

No, we don’t really have the space. We have a single chair bed in my study which is comfy for the odd night but I don’t think it would be good for 6 months’ use and we wouldn’t have anywhere for them to put any stuff they have as there’s no chest of drawers or anything, just my desk. We definitely wouldn’t have space for more than one person.

It's difficult isn't it. My immediate thoughts are no, we don't have a spare room. Could make dc's share, but that would only free up the small box room, which isn't really big enough for a single adult to live in. And we only have one bathroom.

But then to see how people are having to sleep in underground shelters and railway stations and travelling on foot to safety - well of course my tiny box room or sleeping on my sofa would be an improvement.

Unfortunately there's a housing shortage here, so I don't see how people can easily be accommodated in large numbers without people opening up their homes.

Perhaps some of the oligarch mansions can be converted into multi family living accommodation! I don't think that would make much of a dent though.

No, because we don't have a spare room.

I also worry about the vetting process (or lack of it) both ways. I am concerned with out proper process the scheme being exploited by criminals involved in modern day slavery and trafficking.

I would if we had space, as it stands we don't have enough bedrooms for our own family, sadly. I think if our home were large enough then it could be a positive experience for our children too.

Given the choice Ukranian refuges would probably prefer self contained accommodation. rather than a room in someone else's home.
Imagine how stressful it would be to live with strangers, you'd feel you had to be on your best behaviour, and terribly grateful all the time.

In principle, yes. The problem being I'm in rented and trying to buy a house so first I'd need to check with my landlord, and there's the possibility that I might move house at some point. I WFH some days but could make that work with a bit of rearranging.

Ultimately, like others have said, it could be me in that situation. I have room, I live somewhere with good public transport and with jobs aplenty at the nearby hospital. I speak a bit of Russian so we could at least try to have a conversation (before anyone jumps on me, I am well aware that Ukrainian is a different language, but many Ukrainians speak/understand Russian). So yes, I would like to. It wouldn't be self contained though, we'd have to muddle along.

I would if I could. Just put yourself in their shoes.

As i understood it there is no financial help available ( but I wait to see if that will change ) : so I calculated that with extra food and heating that'd add up to £4,000 to my bills. That's a huge ask - basically my savings - so I'm not sure.

Plus do you need to alter your house insurance, imagine if they accidentally damaged your things?

@implantreplace
Of course! But all these people appear to do is moan and complain because they've become lonely, self absorbed and bitter. Despite having everything. A lot of them complain of being bored all the time because they have so much free time. They also consider themselves morally superior, but do little to give back to their communities. Maybe doing something like this would be good for them is all I mean.

We have a spare room and DD's room while she's away at uni. However, DH has said he wouldn't feel comfortable having strangers in our home, particularly with our younger DS.
We won't be volunteering for this sadly.

I've already signed up in my country. Waiting to be matched. It's not ideal and it'll be potentially awkward and uncomfortable but needs must.

I definitely would if I had a spare room.

Yes. I've fostered teenagers in the past and have a large spare room. Large enough to take a double bed, travel cot and bunk beds with ease.
We had to stop fostering because of my health but we would welcome a mother and up to 3 small children. We don't have a high income, but we would manage. I meal plan and we cook from scratch. My husband has retired so he's happy to muck in and help where he can.

We don't have a spare room.

We have a spare room, so yes, seriously considering it.

*There is absolutely nothing wrong with a retired couple or indeed anyone deciding NOT to have a stranger come and live with us

This should not become yet another issue to result in judgement and criticism of peoples choices*

War and the consequences of war are political decisions none of us make. Just as we don't make the policies of accepting refugees, how many our countries accept and their care after they arrive.

Wanting to be personally involved and accepting refugees in your own home is a personal choice hopefully knowing the risks involved. It should never be a get out card for goverments engaged in this catastrophy or judgement for families not wanting to host strangers.

Yes we have 2 spare bedrooms and we live in an area with lots of job opportunities.

I would love to but I live in a tiny, rented 1-bed flat and there's no space. On top of that I don't have much money and I live very rurally so there's no work unless you can drive some distance to the nearest town.

If I had a larger place I would gladly do it.

I would seriously consider it if it was for a few weeks but I don’t think I could cope if it were 6 months or longer. I feel really quite mean saying that though.

We don’t have a spare room so couldn’t, but it is something that i would do if circumstances allowed. We are open to this kind of thing and have been on emergency foster parent registers in the past and will foster in the future when we have the space to do so.

I am hugely conflicted here. I spend my retirement working with a organisation supporting asylum seekers. I have met some amazing people doing so and a deeply involved in the work.

But I do think that anyone considering taking someone in needs to be aware that they need to be capable of dealing with very traumatised people. The worst thing that could happen is that you take someone in, the relationship fails and everyone is re traumatised.
Any children that you take in are likely to struggle with behaviour. Their world has turned upside down. Both mother and children will be terrified for the safety of their husband and father. This will show in how they live and interact with you.

If you can't manage deep emotion, if you or your family would struggle with children who demonstrate their trauma through difficult behaviour, if you breathe a sigh of relief when friends you know leave after a week's visit, then this programme probably isn't for you.

For those asking where to find out more: www.sanctuaryfoundation.org.uk/

Note it talks about several ways of helping, but NOT about offering a room in your house. I suspect that will turn out to be a tiny proportion of the outcome and probably only short-term, while longer term accommodation is located and prepared.

For those asking “Why are we being asked to do this?” You are not! Rather, those who want to offer are being told how they can do so. I’ve seen several news reports of individuals and business saying they want to provide accommodation, sponsor someone on a work visa etc. People who want to do something, now being given a route to explore it further.

If your circumstances make it impossible, or you just don’t want to for whatever reason, fine. Absolutely no need to feel bad about that, and no need to excuse it either. But also no need to have a poke at people who have said they do want to.

If I had a spare room and a second toilet yes I’d take a woman and child, but I don’t have the space.